TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Today when Chewlee was dropped off by the school bus, the very first thing out of her mouth after *I got a smiley face today!* was *It's Picnic Time, Grandma!*  Before we did anything, however, I gave her a letter she had received from Auntie Bratfink.

She was so excited.  She grabbed the letter and clutched it to her breast like it was precious.  It WAS...to HER.  She opened it like she's seen her mother (and me) and then she handed it all to me to read to her.  I read the short little letter to her and she grabbed it, held it to her heart and said, *I love Auntie Bratfink.  What else did she send me?*  I showed her the bookmark and she said, in an excited voice, *It's a bookmark!  I got one from school* and she grabbed her back pack to get it from her folder to show me.  Trust me when I say, for a bookmark, it is HUGE.  It's like 2-1/2 inches wide and probably 10 inches long.  Huge! 

Chewlee then said to me, *I like Auntie Bratfink's bestest of all!*  It's got a cute cartoon hippo at the top and some grass and ferns at the bottom of it.  It's from St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital at the bottom.  Cute for a kid.  Along with that, Auntie Bratfink sent her five note sheets so she can write more *letters* like the one she sent to Bratfink.  It was very simple.  It said, *I love you, Auntie Bratfink.  Chewlee*  Auntie Bratfink's said, *Dear Chewlee, I love you.  Love, Auntie Bratfink*  I'm doing this from memory because Chewlee is home now and took her letter with her.  But it was enough for Chewlee. 

Chewlee's picnic?  Another story.  She got very upset because it was ruined!  First by Baron hitting her hand just as she was going to take a drink of her milk.  It spilled all over her blanket, her legs and mine and the deck outside where we were sitting.  This was after we really had a good time harvesting things from the garden.  We got yellow and red banana peppers, some cherry tomatoes, green peppers, jalapeno peppers and even a couple green tomatoes so I can make some fried green tomatoes for me and the Beast tomorrow.  Tomorrow we will go out and clear up some of the asparagus.  I need to trim their tops but I found a few that are ready to be harvested so we will also have some very fresh asparagus to eat along with the fried green tomatoes. 

We found her a rose that she ended up screaming over and throwing on the ground because it had an ant or two on it.  I didn't even bother to rinse them off because she decided she didn't want it after all.  I told her tomorrow we had to clean up the garden quite a bit and she said she would help.  I need to find a few of my hand tools from out in the garage and be ready when she gets here.  I also promised I would have our sandwiches ready and even make some sweet tea for her and have Doritos in little bags for us.  That made her feel better even though she didn't want to have to wait until then.  She had cried for a while over her picnic being RUINED!  She told the Princess that she didn't even get her sandwich or any chips.  You could tell that she was tired because she's not usually as whiney as she was.  After her mother talked to her for a bit, she felt better.  Now I have to make sure the Beast picks up the stuff for her sandwich (salami).  I'll make myself some egg salad.  The Beast likes that, too, so he'll be happy as well.

I got IM'd by Mustachio and he was very upset over the fact that he contracted a skin fungal infection on his hands, arms and someplace else but I forget where.  I told him he probably got it crawling under someone's house since he works for AT&T and is one of the techs that does the telephone, computer and television installations.  In many homes, the wiring has deteriorated or is incorrect for the application it's needed for.  It means pulling wires through the house and walls.  Most crawl spaces and basements are either wet, humid or both.  Fungus (mold) is inevitable and it is easily transferred to skin when someone is hot and sweaty.  Perfect conditions for it to take hold.  He's been complaining that the OTC stuff he bought wasn't working.  I told him to use his damn VA and see the doctor tomorrow.  They can prescribe something that actually WORKS and works faster than any OTC product.  He finally realized that his sick benefits from work (unused to date because he had a perfect work record) would be more likely to continue with a doctor's note so he WILL go in and not just say that to get his mother off his back. 

He feels awful and Buttmunch almost left skidmarks getting out the door when she saw it.  She is staying with a friend for a *few days* until Mustachio feels better (and is, hopefully, over the infection).  He said she wouldn't even give him a hug when she left.    In the meantime, he says he smells like a litter box with the spray and powder he has on himself trying to stop the itching.  He says he feels like he's going to spore.  ROFLMAO!  Work tried to give him a hard time (even with his perfect record) until he took a phone shot of the skin infection and sent it to them.  He offered to share that with me but I begged off, TYVM.

Strange days, stranger nights.  With the way the Beast was carrying on yesterday, I ended up until around 4:30am.  I kept checking on him...he was sleeping peacefully for most of the time.  I finally couldn't stay up any longer and fell asleep.  Both the Beast and I slept through the alarm so I missed my doctor's appointment.  When I woke up, I called the doctor's office right away and explained what happened.  So now I have to wait another week before I see him.  Oh well.  The Beast woke up today and says he feels a bit fuzzy around the edges but the headache and eye ache are gone and so is the upset stomach and bowels.  I don't know whether to be happy or hit him over the head with a hammer.  I'M SOOOOO CONFUSED!!!!! 

Love you all.  Have a great *hump day*. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

A little later in the evening, after I had made us sweet & sour chicken and some chicken fried rice, the Beast came into my computer room complaining of a headache.  He wanted something stronger than an aspirin so I found something for him and he took it and went to kick back.

About an hour after that, I hear him moaning and groaning.  All I could think about was that all the drama wasn't and shouldn't be about a damn headache.  But I went into the bedroom to find him writhing on the bed, holding a cold compress to his right eye.  He said, in a very pitiful voice, *Get me a cold rag!*  I went and got some of the cold water out of the fridge and soak a washrag with it and wrung it out for him.  When I gave it to him, he said, *Ahh!  That's what I need.*  He put it on his eye and, still moaning in-between talking, he said, *I hate this.  My eye is so painful, it's making me sick to my stomach and I feel like I'm going to throw up!*

Not taking any chances, I went and got a plastic container and brought it to him.  I told him to keep it handy because it should at least help him get to the toilet if he DID vomit.  I went back to my room, leaving the door wide open and told Bratfink what was going on.  A little later, I go to check on him and bring him another cold rag and he's in the bathroom because he HAD vomited.  But, he tells me, what he vomited was the pineapple upside down cake he had for his breakfast and none of his dinner!   

The eye thing really bothered me and I told him if it continued, we were going to the emergency room because that wasn't something normal.  What was on my mind was it could be a sign of a(nother) stroke or pressure from blood behind the eye, perhaps.  I got out of my pajamas and put on street clothes just in case.  He finally seems to have fallen asleep but I keep checking on him.  If he sleeps through the night now, I will make him go to the doctor's office, if nothing else, if that pain is still there.  I don't know what else I can do.  I am VERY concerned.

He's due to go for surgery on his eye on Thursday but not the eye itself.  He needs to have some skin removed from his lower lid to bring his lashes outward so they don't scrape his eye any more.  But, if he's having a problem with it internally now, I doubt that it's a good idea. 

Say a little prayer for him and thanks for that.  Love you all. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I slept badly last night.  Spent it up and down and I didn't even have gas or have to pee.  Weird.  Turns out what was probably disturbing me was the Beast but I will tell you why in a little bit.  I got up, grabbed some coffee and headed to my computer to check my emails, get rid of the spam and see if my comics made it.  My Sunday comics and Dear Abby never DID make it but all my Monday ones were there so I went to the actual site and read yesterday's comics before I read today's.

I took my meds, had some toast and went back for a nap since I was still tired.  The Beast was up when I first got up and then was STILL up when I finished my nap and got more coffee.  Shortly thereafter, he laid down to take a nap as he called it.  That was around 12:30pm.  I was up and down, in and out of my computer room.  I put the clean silverware away and wiped off the cabinets.  I cleaned up the kitchen table (which is always a mess from the Beast.  He will clean up cabinets but never the table.  Go figure.) and wiped up a couple spots on the floor that I saw.  The Beast hasn't put down the new wax yet and I'm not sure why.

I get up for some more coffee and notice it's now 2:30pm and the Beast is still in bed.  Hmmm.  But Baron is asleep on the floor next to the bed so I figure all is well.  I make myself a sandwich and get a glass of milk for my (late) lunch.   I check to see what I may make for our dinner later and go through all the frozen stuff in the freezer before deciding on a couple different things that I figure I will ask the Beast about so he feels he's participating in the selection.  The next time I look at the clock, it's 3:30pm and the Beast is STILL in bed.  Baron has disappeared so I check and he's asleep on the floor of the guest room.  Hmmm. 

I am talking to Bratfink on an IM at this time so I tell her I have become a bit worried about the Beast.  I tell her he's either sick or dead and I don't want to go in and be disappointed (again) because it turns out he's sick.  I don't check.  My door is open and around 4pm, what do I hear?  You're right.  He's finally up and moving around.  When I go out and tell him I was worried and afraid to go in there for fear he was dead, he laughs and tells me he didn't sleep much last night because he was up and down with diarrhea.  Shit!  He WAS sick.  Dammit.  Sigh.  Oh well. C'est la vie!

Don't get a hair up your butt.  You should know I am kidding.  I really WAS afraid to go in there to check on him because he hadn't changed position each time I peeked in.  Baron being there and being asleep gave me the hope that he hadn't died because I think dogs sense that and get upset.  But the Beast and I kid about that all the time.  I think/hope it makes us feel less vulnerable or something because we CAN joke about it.  I would miss him in so many ways.  I would survive it because each year he has been alive since his strokes has been a true miracle.  He really SHOULD have died.  Every single doctor that saw his brain scans said so.  They couldn't understand how he could be alive....talking....walking....aware.  Every single person they had treated that had his kind of stroke and the brain damage he suffered either died or was a vegetable, so-to-speak.  Even so they only figured he would live 5-6 years and it's going on 12 years now.  A miracle..... 

Love you all.  Have a wonderful week. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I have a problem.  Kind of complicated but I'll try to make it short and sweet.  Well, short anyway.  Nothing about it is sweet.  Here goes.....

My daughter, Buttmunch, broke up with her boyfriend.  Since he was the only one working and she had no money coming in from anything and nothing she could even pawn, it meant she was out in the cold.  But, she has two brothers.  The younger one told her to come and live with him.  I haven't discussed this with him but I can guess what happened.  She is premenopausal...#1.  #2...she is used to being the boss of the house.  Even her boyfriend never stood up to her but let her be the queen bee.  #3...my son, Marcus Aurelius, has a wife that says what she thinks and feels and doesn't give a shit how anyone else feels about that.  She and Buttmunch have never gotten along.

One day, just a few weeks after Buttmunch moved in with Marcus and his family, Buttmunch turned up at Mustachio's door with NO warning.  Being a good brother, he took her in.  She had no where else she could go.  He made a few rules for her to follow.  She had to get a job was the important one. 

He has kept her in cigarettes, fed her and even provided her vodka.  He works hard and works 50-60 hours a week.  His days off are sporadic plus few and far between.  He works weekends so his days off usually are during the week when he gets one.  He likes to come home and relax to classical music.  She has a fit over that since she doesn't like it.  My view.  Tough shit, Buttmunch.  He is paying the bills and providing you with the things you feel you need plus you have food and a place to sleep.  BUT....it IS his home, you are just an uninvited guest at best.  So, why is it you feel YOU should be Queen Bee in HIS castle.  YOU are NOT the woman of the house.  Hell, he even went and took out a loan from his bank to get her teeth fixed because she was in pain.  There is an additional bill from that act and he will be making payments on that since she seems to want to do nothing but close all the windows and curtains and turn off all the lights so it's totally dark in there.  She then plays this stupid game on his computer all day.  There's been no attempt to get a job of any kind.  She CLAIMS she applied for jobs via the internet but I kind of doubt it.

I am ashamed to say she is a bully.  She is also a really rotten guest.  I can't believe how she is acting.  She actually attacked him (She did that one night at my house back in April, too) and her brother pushed her away.  He's strong and didn't realize how hard he pushed her but she fell against some trim on his couch and she ended up with three cracked ribs.  It shocked her because her boyfriend never defended himself verbally or physically, I guess.  I know her daughter was very compliant (that's her personality because she's lived with her dad for years and he was a drunk that you couldn't trust not to get nasty).  But, as soon as her daughter graduated, she was outta there and living with her fiance and his family. (Don't ask!)

Now, you would think that after the one fight, she would think about it and come to the realization that she is living on her brother's good will under HIS roof.  But, unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case.  She started more shit today by screaming at him about his classical music.  She only likes U2 and that genre of music.  Not HIS cup of tea and it IS his home, right?  I mean, she's not even trying to get a job and contribute anything. 

Oh, let me take that back.  Her brother made her go and apply for assistance and she got some food stamps.  It's not all that much and probably doesn't cover the cost of her food plus her cigarettes and vodka.  In fact, with the cost of cigarettes these days, I'm sure it doesn't.  But, does she care?  Not in my book and it makes me so ashamed of her.  Not only that she tries to bully her brother into doing what she wants but that she doesn't seem to have a clue that he could throw her out on the street tomorrow and no one would blame him. 

Me?  It breaks my heart that she isn't even TRYING to get along with her brother.  She wants to control everything.  I have no clue why she thinks she's entitled even.  She's just a bully.  There's no other word for it.  We also think she might be becoming agoraphobic.  She did, however, get out of the house today for a while.  One of her few friends she still has came by and picked her up.  She's been living like a troglodyte for so long that her brother told her to go out and go fishing, something...anything...just get out of the house for a while.  She didn't.  She hasn't until today.  And she started an argument as soon as she walked in about the music Mustachio was playing.  Mustachio got so mad, he threw his chair...not at her, just threw it in frustration.  He then told her that she needs to find another place to live.  She just said, *Okay* and then went to bed.

We know she has no where she can go except to a homeless or woman's shelter.  She can't come here.  Her father won't take in anyone any more.  We've done that too often in our lives and we are DONE.  Besides, after the way both her brothers have reacted to having her around, I wouldn't take her in even if she was working and had a car of her own to get around.  Where we live is way too rural to take in someone that doesn't even have a driver's license any more.

So, my poor son's feel badly because they love their sister and really wanted to help her but her attitude just sucks.  Mustachio won't really throw her out, especially with winter coming but I suggested he might want to use shock value and take her to a homeless or woman's shelter and let her look around and see if she wants to live there.  I don't know if it will work.  I think she has started into menopause and that situation needs to be addressed by a doctor's visit.  She may need hormones.  Who knows?  But my son vents to me; it makes me upset for him and upset at her.  I need that like a hole in the head.  It just makes ME crazy.  Any suggestions?

Love you all.  Hope you are having few family problems.  Say a little prayer for me AND my kids could use them, too.  Have a great week. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I have an old cell phone that is no longer in use that Chewlee uses for her imaginary calls.  I suffer through times when she hands it to me, tells me it's this person or that one and they want to talk to me.  Sometimes these calls are hilarious because if you listen to her talking, she is having a real FULL imaginary conversation.  She sometimes even argues or gets mad at whomever it is she is talking to.

The other day she was having this conversation that intrigued me.  When she finally hung up (she actually said *I love you* before she said goodbye!  ), I asked her who she was talking to.  She told me she was talking to Sheepie.  That surprised me but I know she loves Sheepie and misses seeing her.

You see, Sheepie and the Princess are not speaking to each other.  I don't know what started it and I really don't care.  I can tell you that it was something stupid and thoughtless of them both.  One took it more seriously than it was meant, I am certain.  That seems to always be the basis for their arguments.  Then Sheepie did the unthinkable and threatened to turn the Princess in to authorities for child abuse because Chewlee was outside, playing alone, with no adult watching her that she could see.  I read the texted message and was stunned.  I know Chewlee well and I also knew Sheepie at the same age.  What struck me was that Sheepie forgot what SHE was like at that age.  She was very independent and stubborn.  Just like Chewlee is.  But she DID listen to her boundaries and she DID play outside, on our sidewalk of a much busier street than the one Chewlee lives in.  AND our driveway was not as long as the one at the Princess's house.  Nor as wide.

BUT....when I asked her what they were talking about, here's what she told me:  I was talking to Sheepie and I told her she had to stop being so mean to my mommy.  I told her my mommy said she wouldn't be mean to her so they needed to say they were sorry and hug.  Sheepie told me she was sorry she upset me and was sorry she had been fighting with mommy.  I told her I loved her and she said she loved me, too.

AMEN.

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

As I am sitting here in my computer room, hiding, all I can hear is swearing and the thumping of all the various equipment the Beast needs in order to strip the waxes (that HE applied over the past few months) off the wood floors.  Actually, it's laminate and they were never supposed to be waxed.   I told the Beast that if he wanted a shine that stayed forever, he should have applied some spar varnish which would also have sealed it well.  He gave me *that* look (which means I am clueless to a man) and just kept applying the wax.

Now, ladies, we know that there is no wax you can buy at any of the grocery stores that lasts more than a week or so depending on how much foot traffic you have or the weather you track in.  But why do men think that once they put it down, it should last for MONTHS?  or even YEARS?  Are they just stupid?  Sheesh.

So the Beast is paying the price, so-to-speak, with all this labor.  He's had to do some areas several times because you could SEE spots of wax with dog hair stuck into it.  Ahh!  I think he's finally done with the stripping and has finally rinsed everything and gots it put away for the day.  He isn't going to put the wax down today.  But he won't wait for long since he will be worrying about having to mop it up after a couple days.  Baron is NOT a neat eater and dribbles water from his dish.  I have been known to dribble coffee on my way to my computer room in the mornings.  Ditter the Beast.

He used the guest bathroom tub to fill his buckets and then to rinse them afterward.  I have to go check and see that he rinsed it well but the noises he was making have all ceased.  Peace and quiet reigns for now.  I checked and all the furniture is back where it belongs.  Tomorrow I will clean off the stove, fridge, dishwasher and the cabinets around them all.  They seem to get splished and splashed and they look awful right now.

Going to enjoy the quiet for now.  Love you all.  Have a great Sunday.  Mine may be a screamer because I will have Chewlee around 3:30pm.  I will have to stock up my room with stuff for her to snack on once the Beast starts putting down the wax.  He always starts in the alcove area that leads to my room, the guest bathroom and the guest bedroom.  Then it gets worse as he goes along. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I was actually woken up by my own coughing and choking from my sinuses just filling up like crazy and dripping down my throat.  I couldn't understand it since I HAD taken a decongestant which works for the usual airborne crap.  I grabbed a handful of *round kleenex* as Bratfink calls it (terlit paper) and blew, blew, blew my nose.  Then, as I stumbled into the bathroom to get rid of the mess, I discovered what is probably the culprit.  The stripper the Beast is using on the floors. 

Don't get me wrong.  He got a non-butyl stripper so there are no petroleum products used in it.  You have to let it soak for five minutes on the floor to loosen the waxes before you can wipe it up and rinse the floor so the waxes don't just reharden on the floors.  But my throat and sinuses got really distressed when I walked out into the living room.  I ended up grabbing my jacket (I had my slippers on already along with socks to keep my feet warm) and fleeing out into the 58 degree air.  I sat in the sun with my round kleenex and Baron and I just took some deep breaths and cleared our heads.  I was pretty sure that Bratfink had seen me sign on my computer but couldn't figure out why I didn't IM her.  Sorry, Sis...but when I heard my own voice, I got the hell out of the house while the Beast was working on the floor. 

I thought I might actually be stuck out there all day but he got the half floor done and decided he was done for now.  Once the floor was rinsed and dried, I got some fresh coffee in my cup and went into my computer room again.  Poor Bratfink was gone so she must have gone to take a nap while I was just trying to clear the air in my computer room and hope I would stop coughing.  (I did...so far, so good).

The Beast will resume doing the wax stripping later.  I know him.  Now that he's started, he will get antsy and want to get it done so he can put down the really GOOD wax.  He finally located the wax that is used commercially on floors that you see in big office buildings.  He consulted his aunt and his cousin (they had a commercial janitorial service for many years and made very good money for themselves) and finally located a supplier he could order it from via the Internet.   What he bought will probably take us years to use up but, hey!  He'll be able to buff our floors to his heart's content. 

If you had seen all the crap he just HAD to buy for this venture of his, you would understand why God didn't put MEN in charge of housework.  MAN is just supposed to help out, not take over. 

Love you all.  I'm just trying to survive.  Hope you are doing better.

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Today, of all days, the Beast decided he was finally going to tackle the problem of stripping off the wax from the floor.  He had his bucket filled with the stripper and water (in the tub, of course) and had most of the furniture moved around and out of place.  Thank goodness that one of the neighbors, who wanted to stop by, called beforehand.  The Beast had just enough time to get the furniture back in place before she and her daughter came by.

The neighbor that called had gotten to know the Beast from his runs around the circle with Baron.  He always attracts attention due to both his size, musculature and shiny coat.  Plus, although he looks ferocious, he's so damned friendly (except to snippy little dogs) that it surprises people.  He has seldom reacted badly to people but not to anyone living in this neighborhood.  We trust his feelings and make sure the people know that his deep growls mean *stay back*.  He obviously likes the neighbor because Baron was vying for her attention and the Beast finally had to put him in our bedroom and close the door.  I was really afraid he would knock her over.  He's such a muscular and heavy dog.  He's not fat but muscles weigh more than fat.

I found out the woman raised seven kids.  However, she had four boys and only three girls.  One of her daughter's we've known for quite a while (I think since they moved in three years ago).  I thought that was kind of neat that she moved her family close to her mother.  The other two daughters live nearby.  I didn't get to ask about her sons (yet).  She kept apologizing for not coming over sooner or being helpful while I was so sick and then recovering from my surgeries.  She gave me the cutest card saying how glad she was that I seem to be so much better now.  She said my coloring is so much better than when she saw me a few months back when they passed the house in their car.  When she left, it seemed very natural to give her a hug and thank her for stopping by.

The Beast then got serious and OMG!  My house is a real disaster area.  He's got the floor polisher (but it has the pad you use for stripping underneath it) and the vacuum cleaner is out so that he can vacuum around the edges of furniture that he really can't move yet (and he gets the cobwebs, too, while he's at it.)  I have two buckets sitting out.  Not regular buckets.  No, no, no.  Try those big buckets with the mop presses in them.  One is for rinse water.  The other has the stripper in it.  Then you have to imagine that half the living room has furniture from the dining room squashed into space it shouldn't be.  You have to kind of thread your way through the mess to get to the kitchen. 

When my niece, Tara, came by for a food dropoff and a visit, Chewlee got so excited.  She loves Tara a lot but was disappointed that Chance wasn't with her this time.  Tara had a free day today so she cooked.  She made some vegetable soup, super light corn bread (yum...sweet corn bread), some dinner rolls that were still warm and some cookies she had made.  She kept apologizing for the dinner rolls because they didn't rise as much as she had hoped but they were delicious.  Even Chewlee ate two of them.  So we didn't have to worry about dinner tonight AND she brought over an extra container that she put in the freezer for us for another day.  It's so nice that she loves us and thinks of us all the time.  She's not a bad cook, either. 

Chewlee brought over a half dozen baby dolls for *us* to play with and have a tea party with them, too.  That's straight out of a Max and Ruby episode on NickJr.  **Sigh**  She was a good mommy to such a crowd and put them down for a nap even.  She borrowed two of my nap blankets for them since it was *kinda cool for them to be comfortable*.    She wouldn't eat any of the veggie soup because *I only like vegetables at MY house!* 

Tara went out and picked some of the veggies still growing on my plants.  I had green and red peppers, banana peppers and cherry tomatoes.  There's still more out there but they need a few more days growing time.  She was really surprised and came in saying, *Who in the world would believe you still have veggies growing in October?*  We found it isn't unusual here in Alabama at all.  Hell, even flowers will still be growing that usually only last through the summer and die off when the temperatures hit in the 60's.  We've had temperatures down in the 30's at night for over a week at a time.  Seems our plants are really hardy.

We did find out that Baron is a strawberry fan.  Chewlee got mad at him for eating a couple strawberries on our plants that she had her eyes on.    I have to check and find out if they are good for him.  Seems kind of a strange thing for him to eat, if you ask me.

Love you all.  I'll be living in a mess for a few days but we won't have Chewlee tomorrow (Saturday) so the Beast should be able to get more done than he can if she's around.  Kids have no patience AND Chewlee is an eating machine so there's a constant trek to the kitchen, the fridge, the pantry and back to my computer room when she is here.  I hope you have a great (if busy) Saturday.  Be careful driving.  There will be lots of people out shopping on Saturday so don't be a statistic. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I was aware of the time.....sort of....because Chewlee was late being picked up.  I don't know why but there always seems to be late tables coming in to the restaurant where the Princess works and she is either low gal on the totem pole or the people want her to take care of them.  Since most of these are good tippers, she obliges.  BUT...if Chewlee has something she thinks is exciting to tell her mother (like she did tonight) or she's just a bit overtired, she gets impatient for her mother to pick her up and take her home.  Tonight she thought her mother was leaving her here overnight without telling her.  I assured her that it wasn't THAT that was keeping her mother because she would have had to discuss it with ME first.  She made the Beast call her mother, however, just to be sure.    It was really funny.

The good news she wanted to tell her mother was how good she had been at church tonight.  The Beast said it was the very BEST behavior EVER for her.  That made Chewlee proud and anxious for the Beast to tell her mother.  She sat quietly, didn't disturb anyone with her talking or singing and she didn't fidget either.  For Chewlee, that had to have been really hard.  But she did it and she was very proud of herself.  Of course, the Beast had told her that was the only way she could go with him and I threatened not to let her go, too, because she wouldn't let me brush her hair or wipe her face and hands off.  He also told her that if she didn't behave, she couldn't go with him in the future.  There she was, clutching *her* bible and a songbook with a very serious look on her face and continually saying, *I promise....I promise!*

She was hungry when they got home (the Beast didn't stop at McD's) so she was snacking on an English Muffin (...and it's got BUTTER on it, Grandma!) and a banana.  She also had a small glass of milk to wash it all down and then was fidgeting and running around, teasing Baron with one of his squeaky toys.  I told the Beast that she obviously had to work off all that peacefulness and he said, *Oh that started in the car.  She became a real motor-mouth and couldn't sit still either.*  One way or another.....   It's just tough for kids to sit through two hours of a minister giving a sermon and then just having a short potty break in between before it starts all over again.  When asked what she had learned, she just shrugged.  Well, it's still a good lesson.  She WILL learn some self-discipline.

Me?  When the two of them left, I kicked back (literally) and just relaxed.  Even the dog did.  Cracked me up because I actually heard him snoring.  Didn't last long because I think he woke himself up and he changed position.  He only seems to do that when he sleeps on his back.  Kinda like people. 

I watched this program called...10 Things You Didn't Know About..(insert name here).  Tonight it was Hitler and Patton.  I discovered I knew all but one of the 10 things about Hitler.  Only knew four of the things about Patton.  It's always nice to learn something new.  I would have sworn I knew all those little things about Hitler mainly because Mustachio was such a history buff when he was younger and he asked questions (some embarrassing ones included if you know anything about Hitler's sex life) and he also had to tell me all the new and interesting things he learned.  He actually stunned me with what he learned and even how accurately he could discuss different WW 2 events without you ever feeling these were things he learned by rote.  He KNEW the information about the battles, the planning, the flaws, etc.  It was kind of scary because he was only about 10 then.

Once Chewlee finally left, I was glad for her because she really didn't want to sleep here...not tonight.  She reassured me that we could have a sleepover *some other time*.    I sometimes wonder if she only has one because she thinks I get lonely without her.  She told me this was her *other* home, not her *real* one but she DID love me, too.  She can be so damned loveable and adorable at times.  Actually, most of the time.  But when she's a brat (oh yes, she CAN be a brat, too!), she is a REAL brat.  LOL.  But I love her anyway. 

Love you all.  Have a great day tomorrow.  It's Friday!  Woo hoo! 

PS:  See?  I really AM losing my mind.  I never did tell you how I lost track of time once she left.  And I think I won't now.  It'll be my little secret.   

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Today Johnnycakes dropped Chewlee off before he headed to work.  She came with a basket filled with things she had decided *we* could use to play with today.  It even included two markers that she told me were her *drumsticks*.  She has found out that she likes to *drum*.  I've watched her and finally asked her if she wanted to learn how to drum.  She told me that she wanted a set of drums.  Since she likes Fresh Beat Band on NickJr., I figured she liked Marina (who is their drummer).  When asked if she wanted drums like Marina has, she told me *no*, she wants to have a big bass drum. 

Marina uses electronic drums and, although there is a feature that gives the bass drum sounds, Chewlee would have to be shown it.  It's just a bit difficult to explain to her where it is (on the floor under the electronic drum board) and why it looks the way it does.  She told me she also wanted cymbals on her drums.  I had to remind her that Marina does, indeed, have cymbals and that it has been the subject of a couple of episodes where they have been broken.  She remembered then.  But I have a feeling she wants a set where she can sit down and play them.

I told her she would have to ask Santa Claus for them and see what happens.  She told me that she tried to stay up last Christmas to see Santa and tell him she wanted drums but she didn't see him because she fell asleep.  I told her to remember the song and how it says.....*he knows when you are sleeping....* and that is why she wouldn't be able to see him.  He doesn't come until she's asleep.  She got the most pathetic look on her face at hearing that.  I told her she needed to tell him when she saw him at the Mall but she said, *Oh that's not the REAL Santa.  That's just one of his helpers.*  I told her that it still counted.  How else would he know what she wanted?  After all, he's a very, very busy person.

What I mean about her imagination is this:  I've told you about her playing school.  She has a regular set of students and knows them all.  She uses the same names and I suspect they are drawn from kids she actually knows.  She also has a *sister* who's name is very close to hers.  Today she was having an art class with her kids (and very few needed to stand with their noses to the wall this time.  I guess they all like art.  ).  When it was play time, she came to me and asked where Chewlee was.  I told the *sister* (she had identified herself to me that way) that Chewlee was outside playing.  She said, *Oh!  I'll go and play with her.* 

At that, she went outside (I was making spaghetti but had the screens open so I could hear her).  She went over to her bike in the garage and was having a discussion with Chewlee and even a small argument about who was going to ride the bike first and for how long.  I had walked over to the inside garage door and was watching her while she was doing this and she actually moved around while she was one or the other.  It was really eerie.  Especially when she rode her bike off down the driveway and across the lawn then back to the garage where she then gave the bike to the other persona.  I thought, *..either she is very lonely or she is really *seeing* these imaginary kids.*  It made me wish we had more kids in the neighborhood.  The house next door to us finally sold and now I am hoping they have kids.  I'm going to have to ask Courtney or her husband if they know if the people have them.

The Princess got here at 7:30pm, which was almost an hour after I expected her.  I THINK her math class gets out at 5pm so she should have been here around 6:30pm.  Like I said, I THINK that's when her class ends.  Even Chewlee expected her earlier.  I meant to ask her about it but she was in a hurry to get home and had her car idling in the driveway.  She rushed Chewlee out of here with a *see you tomorrow* and...gone!  She didn't even look to see what we had made for dinner.  I even made extra garlic toast for her.  Oh well.  I'll nibble on that later.  It's not really something that keeps well.  I guess she wasn't hungry tonight because she usually ALWAYS checks. 

It was a really great day today as far as weather goes.  Sunny and pleasantly warm.  I looked out at the garden area and know it's time to clean it out and put it in the composter.  It looks so sad with all the plants being stripped of veggies and no more just waiting to ripen.  I cut down my asparagus plants because they were still too spindly.  Perhaps we didn't have enough fertilizers and compost added to the soil because it's usually the second year that sees the spears ready for consumption.  If they had been even the thickness of a pencil, it would have been okay but they were only about half that.  Next year will be better.  I told the Beast that next year we are marking out areas and cutting down on the number of plants like our squash.  It will also allow the Beast to remember what was planted and just where. 

It only takes about 8 weeks for most everything but I DO want to plant some potatoes to see what happens.  I've learned some of the little things you need to know about planting potatoes.  I didn't know you had to cover the ground under the green plants so the potatoes can develop in the dark.  They take a little longer than 8 weeks (they take around 12-14 weeks) so they are a late harvest.  You plant them in April and harvest them in late September.  I would love to plant some sweet potatoes but have to do a little research on them first.  I just wonder if they will need the straw covering under the green upper plants like regular potatoes, too.  Well, I'll google that and find out what I need to know.  Next year should be a better year all around since I feel so much better these days and don't have the leg problems I did.

Love you all.  Going to kick back and watch a couple DVD's I think.  Hope you had a great Hump day and a fantastic last couple days of the week.  Drive carefully.  Remember to tell those you love that you do.  Life is short.  Sometimes shorter than we think.