TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

This is a new one on me.  Today, after being chastised for the fourth or fifth time for misbehaving, Chewlee looked at me and told me in a desperate voice, *I don't know how to behave, Grandma, because you never made me a map so I will know how to be good.*  Huh??? 

I really and truly don't know where that came from.  I did tell her once that, if she wanted, we could make up a list of things she shouldn't do but I added that it wouldn't do her any good because she doesn't know how to read yet.

Now think about this....even if I do draw up a list, if she does something I didn't think of, she can blame me because it's *not on her list*.  I think I can't win this one.  Anyone got any suggestions.  Or, perhaps, got a few ideas for *THE LIST*?  This could end up being a VERY long list. 

Love you all.  Sorry this is so short but you can perhaps imagine the type of day we had here at the Brat Farm that the subject even came up.  Poor Baron was so upset with her, he damn near bit her!    Needless-to-say, this was not one of her better days.

Take care.  Drive carefully.  It's a brand new week and you are starting off fresh.  If someone annoys you or makes you made, count to ten then take several deep breaths.  Don't ever react in anger.  That way lays danger. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I'm so grateful that Chewlee can be easily entertained some days.  Today, after we ate some toast with jelly and some milk, all she wanted was to watch TV and eat her bubble gum.  Yeah, the Princess bought her a package of bubble gum.  You know the kind...has maybe 5 or 6 in a bag that convenience stores sell 2/$1.  I usually buy some hard candies or gummy bears when I am on a road trip.    With dentures, I can only chew Freedent which is good, thankfully.

I was tired and needed a couple more hours of sleep.  Chewlee was a sweetheart and pretty much left me alone while I slept in my recliner.  Then she got hungry so I pulled myself together and fed her.  She kept going in and out of the house on the deck.  First to feed the cat (and she pronounced it chilly outside).  Then later she went out to pet the cat and play with her for a while.  She said it was getting warmer out there.  Then she finally decided it was warm enough (it was) and she told the Beast to hook up her slip and slide while she put on her bathing suit.  He did.  She did and then had to show it off to the Beast until he said it was cute. 

She played and played in that spray (it has sides that spray water up in the air for added fun) for over an hour.  She slid on her knees.  She used the belly board and slid on that.  She just threw herself down on it and wiggled along it like a snake.  By the time I called her in to get ready for her mother to come and get her, she had pretty much tired herself out.  I wrapped her in a towel and she came in and laid down on my recliner for a while.  She wanted to *dry off* and I let her stay there because I thought she might actually fall asleep for a while. 

Later, I got her dressed in clean clothes and her hair brushed.  She decided she had to brush her hair, too, and then go show Grandpa her *hairstyle* which was just both sides brushed up front over her shoulders.  It was cute to watch her doing it, especially remembering when she HATED her hair to be brushed.  Now when I brush it, she will remind me to brush *underneath*.  She's learned to like the way it makes her feel to have her hair brushed.  Wait until she learns how nice it is to go to a beauty parlor and have someone else do everything from shampooing your hair to brushing it later. 

I don't think I told you about her mother taking her to a beauty parlor to have a manicure on her birthday.  She did.  The gal did a great job and even did her toenails.  She put a design on her thumbs and the big toes that match and one nail on each was a different but coordinating color.  They all had glitter that was in the polish.  I just know that Chewlee felt elegant and so very feminine.  She had to show everyone AND call attention to each feature.  She's definitely ALL girl.  She loves new clothes now.  At one time she could have cared less.  Now she voices her opinions on things and you don't dare get her something she doesn't like because you will never get her in it.  She's VERY opinionated and obstinate about how she looks and what she will and won't wear.

The Beast bought her two outfits and I worried about that because he didn't take her with him (well, it WAS a surprise) but she loved them both.  She wasn't sure about the one outfit with *pants that don't go all the way down* but she wore it and got a lot of compliments from people so now it's one of her favorites.    ALL GIRL!

Love you all.  It's chilly here again (down to 50 tonight they say) but will be in the 80's tomorrow so Chewlee will be able to Slip and Slide.  Be careful if you drive anywhere.  Keep cool in hot weather areas and be sure to drink lots of liquids. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I think I mentioned a while back that I wanted to get Chewlee a *Slip N Slide* for her birthday.  Turns out I had to order it from Walmart.  They shipped it to our local store and the Beast picked it up today.  Better late than never.

The Beast, ever a joker, comes into my computer room where Chewlee was watching cartoons and says (to me) *Want to see what I bought?*  I said, *Of course*, getting the hint that he was going to tease Chewlee.  Chewlee jumped up onto her feet, comes over and is trying to move the Beast's arm so she could see what he bought.  She said to him, *Who did you buy that for, Grandpa?*  He looks at her and says, *Oh this is for the little girl across the road.*

By then I had the box in my hands and I gave my approval because I had wanted the one with the belly board (which is why I had to order it...they must have been popular).  Chewlee came over to me to look at the picture on the box and tried to take it from me but I held on.  She then said, *Who did Grandpa say he bought that for?*  I told her he said he bought it for the little girl across the road.  She looks at me intently, says *It's not FAIR!  He didn't get ME a present!* and she starts to cry.  I leaned over, put the box in her lap and hugged her and said, *Don't you know that Grandpa was teasing you?  This is your birthday present.* 

Tears stopped, a smile was on her face, she grabbed the box, checked to see if it opened easy or not then ran into the living room to have Grandpa open it up for her.  He did that and handed the whole bundle to her.  She ran into my room with this huge grin on her face and kept saying, *Want to see this?  Want to see this?  Wait, I'll show it to you!*  Then she unfolded it in a shake.  The little belly board fell out and I grabbed it up so I could blow it up for her.  I knew the Beast would HAVE to take it outside and hook it up to the hose (which he did after Chewlee dragged it to him).  She kept saying, *I can't slide on it!  I don't have a bathing suit.*  The Beast suggested she take her clothes off and just slip and slide in her panties but the idea horrified her.  She said, *I can't let anyone see my underwear!  I will be almost naked, Grandpa.*  But she ran down the stairs to watch him hook it up and that was all she wrote.  She started slipping and sliding fully dressed!

She was upset when I finally made her come in because it was starting to cool down rapidly.  She was upset but I told her she would have all day tomorrow (Saturday) and I would make sure her mother brought a bathing suit with her so that she wouldn't have to wear her clothes.

When I was blowing up her belly board, I had a problem with the valve cover popping up.  I figured the air was doing that because something wasn't quite right with it.  Chewlee got exasperated with me and said, *Let ME do that, Grandma.  You just don't have experience like *I* do*.  It made me want to smack her because her voice was so condescending but I also had to laugh.  She is always trying to say that *she* knows how to do this or that and *I* don't.  She will then add.....*but I will teach you, Grandma.  You can watch me do it!*

After I got her back in the house and out of her wet clothes, I had her put on dry ones.  She spotted the fact that I was eating some pistachios.  She got very excited and said, *You are saving the shells for me, right, Grandma?*  See, we have this working relationship on the eating of pistachios.  She doesn't like the nuts but she loves to suck the salt off the shells.  I get the nuts inside and all the shells she considers HERS.  In fact, when I have to put the whole nut in my mouth to open it, she gets VERY upset and tells me, *You are eating MY nuts.*  I told her that I was sorry I had to *eat* the salt off HER shells.  And she is very serious about it all.  She gets really upset if I claim any shells as mine.  I usually get her to stop being upset by reminding her that *big girls SHARE*. 

She couldn't wait to tell her mother about her present and that she HAD to wear her clothes because she didn't have a bathing suit.  Her mother told her that she had two bathing suits at home and they would bring one with them in the morning.  I know her.  She's going to want to go right out in the backyard to use her slip and slide but it's going to be on the chilly side.  She's going to have to learn about patience.  It's just midnight here and the temperature outside is 55.  It's going to get colder during the next five or six hours.  She'll have to be content with watching her cartoons for a few hours until it warms up. 

Love you all.  Have to get my sorry butt into bed.  I'm really tired.  Chewlee tends to tire me out on those days she is most active.  Heck, even my EARS get tired because she has this need to talk all the time.  Lately, she has started to talk LOUD for no other reason than it gets her noticedS so I am constantly telling her to lower her voice.  She does...for a while and then it starts rising again.  She must have had to compete for attention in school.  The loudest voice gets the most attention.    Is that like the *squeaky wheel gets the grease?* 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I'm worried and I need help.  The cat that adopted us has taken to following me everywhere I go.  If I sit at my desk, she is either begging for attention (she paws me softly and has this adorable look on her face) or she lays under my desk at my feet.

If I go to the bathroom, she follows me.  She keeps trying to sniff my butt which annoys the hell out of me.  I usually grab her and set her down close to the door.  I keep doing that when she tries to get back there again.  I am hoping she eventually gets the idea but I doubt it.

If I go into the kitchen, she tries to rub my ankles while I am walking.  If I use my foot to move her aside, she will stop and sit down for a minute.  I guess she is trying to figure out why I did that.  But then she decides that I didn't mean anything by it (since I don't hurt the poor thing) and back she runs.  She made me fall the other day.  Thankfully, my butt hit the floor first before my head hit the floor so I wasn't hurt.  The Beast picked her up and put her outside (she spends half her day out there so don't be concerned).  She also has all her pointy things on her paws and knows how (and when) to use them.  One day I heard cats fighting and when I got to the door and looked around, the orange tiger cat had made the mistake of trying to take over the grape arbor hence the fight.  But Lovey was victorious and, when I checked her over, she had nary a scratch on her that I could find.

Anyway, this morning, when she deigned to come into the house (I had let Baron out to do his *thing*.  I think this is her signal to come down off the grape arbor), she first visited her food bowl and then the water bowl.  We stopped leaving food out on the deck because the orange cat was eating it most of the time.  She has owners that feed her but cats will eat all the time if you let them. 

After she had eaten and had some water, she spent time grooming herself in the living room.  I escaped into my computer room.  I had literally forgotten she was around when I went out in the kitchen and she damn near made me fall again.  I managed to catch myself on the counter so no damage but it scared the hell out of me.  I don't know how to break her of that bad habit she has.  But I know I have to or get rid of her.  I could use some suggestions here.  Anyone?

Love you all.  Have a great Friday. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Sheepie graduated today.  My other granddaughter, Aimee, graduated a couple days ago and I discovered that only afterward.  But...CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATES!  I'm very proud of them both. 

As soon as the ceremony was over, she headed back home to get her stuff moved into the fiance's truck.  She said her goodbyes to everyone and then headed for Alabama and her new home.  Since Mustachio didn't have to take her out for a steak dinner, he gave her some *traveling* money.  I probably won't hear from her or see her for a few days while she's getting herself settled in.  Which is fine with me because today hasn't been a good one.

I woke up with sore glands on the left side of my neck.  It's no real surprise to me because my left ear was giving me a bit of a problem like I was trying to get an ear infection or something.  But, when I run a fever, I sleep.  Today I was running a fever so I slept.  I pretty much slept most of the day away.  But, even though the glands are still tender, the fever is gone now.  I woke up long enough today to go to the bathroom and drink some liquids.  I spoke online with Bratfink after she got back from physical therapy (read her blog to find out how THAT went) and when she went to take a nap, I went back to bed, too.

I did manage to talk for a while with Mustachio about the graduation and his feelings about Sheepie leaving but finally I told him I HAD to go lay down.  At one point, when I was vertical, the Beast came in with this HUGE blackberry off one of our bushes.  I didn't think blackberries got that big.  He had eaten one and brought me one for me to see how good they tasted.  He was right.  It was delicious.  Except at the very bottom....they need to stay on the bush just a teensy bit longer so the sweetness is throughout the whole berry.  But the top section was awesome.  Tomorrow I must pick more squash and tomatoes.  Also some of the banana peppers, jalapenos and green peppers.  We are going to be sharing again with the neighbors and I think I will call Tara to stop by and get some, too.  She loves homegrown anything.

She stopped in for a bit this evening and we found out she's getting the two kids just older than Chance (they live with their father and his parents) for a whole MONTH.  She will have her hands full and it's probably a good thing at this time.  It will help her heart heal a bit from the loss of Kevin.

It will be nice to have another family member in the area (Sheepie) and it will give her a chance to get to know Tara, too.  Tara and Buttmunch are close.  I think Sheepie would enjoy being friends with Tara, too.  Tara can be really fun and she's definitely energetic.  She can make me tired just watching her at times and she's doesn't even have to be doing anything except talking!   

It's funny but somehow I knew Sheepie would be in a hurry to get down here to start her *new* life.  She's definitely in love and so is he.  I know she hated being separated from him for all that time until she graduated.  And she just got engaged last Christmas!  It's not like it was YEARS although I'm sure it felt like that to her.

Mustachio says he will miss her coming over to his place and just talking about nothing at all for hours.  He said it used to annoy him at times but he misses it already and it's been one day.  I told him I knew what he meant because I really do.  I missed all my kids as they each moved on to their own lives.  I missed their friends camping out all weekend at our house, playing their games and me making big pots of chili or spaghetti or stew for them to eat.  Sometimes it was hot dogs on the bbq.  It was actually something I loved and I always knew where they were and what they were doing, too.  So did the other kids parents.  They knew where they could be found.  My kids went through several different types of game-a-thons.  First it was Dungeons & Dragons.  Then something that involved Samuraii's....then Axis & Allies.  To this day, that's one game that Marcus Aurelius still plays with his old friends when they get together. 

Well, time to get this posted.  Love you all and I hope you are all feeling better than I did.  Keep cool if you are enjoying hot weather.  Also remember to drink lots of fluids.  It's easier than you know to get dehydrated.