TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I wanted to write about Chewlee and how cute and funny she was yesterday....and I still might, if my sense of humor returns.  But the Beast returned home from the urologist's office about two hours ago and we have some things to chew over that are not exactly happy.  The urologist thinks the Beast has prostate cancer.  He has to go in for a biopsy on March 5th.  I have to contact my niece, Tara, and find out if she can clear her calendar for that day because we have to be in Gadsden at 7:30am.  It's about 25-30 miles away.  I really and truly hate to ask it of her but I am still in no shape to drive.  I would if I could but even the Beast knows I wouldn't be able to do it unless things change radically in the next two weeks.  We both hate to ask it of her but we don't have much of a choice.

It will probably turn out that he DOES have it since this urologist has been right every time so far.  This blog is to ask that you remember him in your prayers.  I would really appreciate it.

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Today I spent most of my day at the Wound Center.  First I did the HBO therapy, then a one hour wait for my doctor's appointment.  I was looking forward to having at least SOME of the stitches and staples taken out.  The Beast dropped me off for my HBO therapy but remembered that I had an hour's wait and came back to keep me company during my wait.  I sat outside because the day was bright, sunny and fairly warm if you stayed out of the wind.

When the doctor finally saw me, he went into his Dr. Mengele mode and, after declaring my heel was looking good, he gave me a local anesthetic there and started digging a tunnel to my toes!  Then came the unveiling....the removal of the staples and stitches.  It took the nurse and the doctor 1/2 hour to remove them all.  The area that was leaking fluid, he opened up and packed it with this special stuff (which I DO have in my supply box from the HH nurse) and told me to just keep repacking it.  Ha, ha, ha!  I've had to do that twice tonight already.

He told me what caused that was air under my skin from the extensive surgery I had.  The body fills up any spaces; in my case it was with the fluid, which he suspects was mostly water.  I had no signs of infection.  But I feel like he is prolonging my healing with all his digging.  He laughs at my joking around but I am semi-serious.

The other day, the Beast either got something in his eye or he scratched it.  It's been very painful for him but he got some eye drops for it and he said it felt better this morning (it just wasn't gone!).  Tonight, however, he suddenly sat up and had both eyes squeezed shut and the OTHER eye was paining him.  I told him I was going to call an eye doctor for him tomorrow because he might actually have something serious going on there.  I don't think he will argue with me.  They are painful enough he took aspirin for it.

His appointment with the urologist to check out his johnson and bladder (internally) is tomorrow at 9am.  I don't go to HBO therapy because of it.  His appt. is more important since he's had bladder cancer twice already.  The type he has had is virulent and recurring.  I'll resume on Friday, have the weekend off and then it starts again on Monday.  **Sigh**

I'm going to close this for now.  I'll write more later because Chewlee was a trip today and I just have to tell you some of her antics and conversations with me and the Beast.  I love you all but I am in a bit of pain and need to take care of that.  Be good and have a good Thursday. 

I apparently had a fever of 102 when I was taken to the ICU on Saturday the 4th.  Remember, this is the day before The Super Bowl.  I don't remember much of Saturday, and not much more of Sunday.  What I DO remember is that the ICU peeps were trying to keep an eye on the game in a room over in the corner [while keeping an eye on the folks in the ICU.]  I began calling it The Super Bowl Party room.  Somehow or another I was told they used that room for the game since they couldn't use it for anything else because THEY COULDN'T GET THE SMELL OUT OF THERE.  They didn't know exactly what the smell was, but they were trying to figure out how to get rid of it.  I believe them because I could see where part of the wall in the ICU was dry-walled and ready to be painted.

Let us talk about hospital beds.  They suck.  Well, unless you sleep on your back, that is, which is NOT me.  I had to have pillows under my arms so I didn't feel like my arms were hanging off the side of the bed onto the floor.  And yes, my bed WAS alarmed so I couldn't escape, although they told me it was because I was a 'Fall Risk' and they wanted someone to be there to help me onto the bedside commode or [later] into the bathroom.  I no longer have a problem taking a shit in front of someone, because some things are just not that damned important when you may be dying.

It used to be easy to reach all the bed controls on beds, but not anymore.  Gawd, I hated that bed.

I survived the bed, but the CPAP machine damn near killed me.  They had to give me Atavan because I would get so freaked out having that mask on my face.  Sometimes I would get a dry throat and feel like I was choking and i would be tearing at the 'corners' of the mask to get some air in there or even a straw for some water.  Some times a kind nurse would come help me then get me settled with the mask again.  Bless them!  But I have to tell you, I would rather die with sleep apnea than sleep with that mask on my face every night.  True dat.

Folks, I truly never saw this coming at me.  I thought I was coming down with a cold from The Boy.  When The Boy saw my blue lips he was told to call 911 and an ambulance to take me to the hospital.  I have no idea how I lived.  Can only be God and prayers.

Bratsis is always saying to tell those you love them that you love them because YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.  I sure would not have known, and I just know I have another chance.  Maybe not another chance to live better or longer, but at least another chance to say good-bye and let people know that I loved them and they meant something to me.  All my 'stuff' means nothing.  All my people do.

KP came and saw me while I was in the hospital.  She brought her laptop because she thought I might want to play on it.  She found out how much I did not--in fact, was not interested at all.  I really WAS convinced I was dying and was very happy that KP got to see me before I ran over The Rainbow Bridge.

Anyway, while they were working so hard to save my life they were pumping a LOT of fluids in me.  Lots more than were coming out, so I have a few issues with my legs to deal with.  The Boy thought I'd be in a wheelchair when I came home, so he rearranged my bedroom a bit.  That's going to have to be changed back.  Right now I have to lead into bed with my worser leg and that's not making me happy at all.  Well, it's hurting me.

So, I'm going to post this before it gets much longer.  And then I'll start on my next one.
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TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

The Beast got me up in time to get to the Wound Center after I was able to take my pills and grab a cup of coffee that I took with me in the car.  There was no backup today so I got right in and out on time.  When I called the Beast, he was already started on his way to pick me up.  The funny thing was that HH didn't call.  I waited until late to change my bandage.  The doctor's nurses will do that tomorrow after my HBO appt.  BUT....

The Beast checked his appointment card in his wallet for the urologist and discovered that his appt.  is for Thursday at 9am.  Ut Oh!  Since he has to have his *johnson* scoped out for any return of tumors, that means there is no way I can make my appt. on Thursday.  I will have to check tomorrow to see if I can skip it or swap it.  I hate to do that since I think I will get most of my staples and stitches out tomorrow.  At least, I sure hope so.  The ones that are weeping probably won't be removed.  They don't look all that good to me.

The Beast had to pick Chewlee up from Pre-school because the Princess had to take a test at Athens and she knew she wouldn't make it back in time.  The kids all had Valentine baskets and I had to unwrap the lollipop for her.  She put Dr. Dolittle 2 in the computer to watch and was so tickled *she* got it started.  She sat and watched that until her mother got here to pick her up.  I was semi-napping and the little stinker took my cane and put it in the kitchen.  She's just fascinated with it but doesn't like to put it back where she found it.

The Beast bought me KFC hot wings as my Valentine Treat, which was much more appreciated than flowers or candy.  Besides, I was hungry when he brought it home as a surprise to me.  I loved it.

Hopefully, Bratfink will let you know what's going on with her.  Suffice it to say, the Boy, bless his heart, is trying to deal with all the food groups and feed her correctly for the (temp?) diabetes she's dealing with at the moment.

She had her first HH nurse visit today and I guess the nurse was horrified at the bruising she suffered.  I was, too, when she shared pictures.  Egad!

Love you all.  Have a great day.  It's HUMP DAY!   

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Today was a busy day.  First, trying to eat quickly before we had to leave for my HyperBaric Oxygen therapy (aka HBO).  I got the biscuit and gravy the Beast had bought for us both down and half of my large cup of coffee and out the door I ran.  I was worried about getting there a little before my appt. so that I could get into my gown and have my vitals taken before the HBO therapy started.  That's ideally what they want.  Today, I could have slowed down a little and enjoyed my breakfast more.  Apparently, the 8am people were BOTH late so when I got there, I sat around with that stupid gown on and nothing on underneath in a chilly room for about 15 minutes.  That's AFTER I had changed and had all my vitals taken.  Once I was able to get into the tube, I asked for a blanket so I could sleep.  I was still tired.  But, the oxygen is heated slightly in the chamber and lends itself to sleep.  It took me a while to warm up but I DID fall asleep.  In fact, when I heard my name being called in an effort to wake me, I was shocked that the time had passed so swiftly.

The bad part was that the Beast had waited until I got out of HBO to run up to the Tobacco store.  I needed tubes and tobacco both.  First, a trip to the bank for cash since the Tobacco store only takes....get this!  CASH AND CHECKS!!!    I watched a newscast here on people that wrote bad checks and the police roundup one weekend.  It was amazing and I wouldn't have wanted to be among their number.  They really don't like people that write bad checks and then don't repay the money or show up in court when they are supposed to.

I got to talk with Bratfink for a bit early in the afternoon.  We commiserated over our various disabilities right now and wished each other the best and fastest healing.  She's still very deaf from the oxygen and, guess what?  Because I was asleep during decompression, I woke up to being very deaf in my left ear and slightly in the right!    I could have kept the tube open if I had been awake with yawning or swallowing.  I'll take care of that tomorrow.

The poor Home Health nurse came here at 12:30pm expecting me to be done with my HBO and found no one here.  I called the office when the Beast found her note and she was here within 15 minutes.  I swear, I have my vitals taken twice a day and it's amazing how different the results can be.  My BP was very low at first at the Wound Center when the HBO nurse took it (64/45) but a few minutes later, it was 90/48.  When I was done with the HBO, it was 144/80.  Strange, huh?

When HH got here an hour later, it was 110/60 which is more like my normal BP.  They both take my temp, check my sugar, take my BP and ask a jillion questions, including if I moved my bowels.  Surprise, surprise, I don't always do that on a daily basis because I'm taking pain pills, people!  So I get advice....eat more vegetables, salad, yogurt, drink a lot of water....sheesh! 

Oh, I told the Beast to pick me up some Greek yogurt.  I admit it, the commercials for it just made me curious.  I figured he would pick me up one or two.  Nope.  Six.  However, HE was just as curious.  I like it.  It's thicker and more filling but not TOO filling.  I think it would be great if you were dieting especially.  Eat one of those and then your meal.  Since you feel a bit fuller, you eat less.  Plain and simple and easy.  So far, I've eaten it with pineapple and peach.  The fruit is already in it but at the bottom (why do they do that?).

I found out it's the oxycodone that kicks my ass and makes me fall asleep.  Once it kicks in, I'm a goner.  I MUST lay down.  I was kind of switching between the two pain killers I was given (Oxy and Percocet) but Percocet doesn't kick my ass.  At least now I know because I put the Percocet out of reach of my desk so I would be aware of which pain pill I took.  I'm still leaking fluid from the incision in my crotch area.  The pants I wore today was light blue in color and you could see the wet area after just 20 minutes.  It's about a foot long and five inches wide on these heavy cotton pants and I have a folded terry rag underneath the pants in that area.  I keep changing the rag and I even smell it to make sure it doesn't have a bad aroma.  It's clear, not even yellowish and damn near no smell at all.  That's what puzzles me.  What the hell is going on.  I'm going to have to collar the doctor on Wednesday since this is HIS doing and I want answers!

Love you all.  Have a fantastic, if cold, week.  I'll stay in touch. 

Let us talk about catheters.  I was on one for a couple of days.  This was while I was still very near to death.  I am not sure if it was because of my illness or medication but it looked like all I was peeing was blood.

And let me tell you, when you are potty trained [as I am] it is VERY hard to pee while you are laying down, even if they tell you it's OK to do that.  There were a couple times when I had to really concentrate on relaxing those muscles to pee.  Imagine The Boy's delight when I would say, "Do you see something going into my pee bag?"  And he would have to look and report back to me so I would know I was doing it right.

And as long as we are talking about terlits, let's.

I have always hated the terlit in this house.  It's always seemed as though it was for someone way shorter than me.  And trying to get up from it when my knee/s are hurting can be damn near impossible without help.

Well, wouldn't you just know it, but The Boy found a raised terlit seat in the garage.  The only way he could make it work was by using duct tape, but I told him, "That's why duct tape is a force of nature."  I am so much happier with my new raised terlit seat.  One of The Mother's last purchases, apparently.

And as long as we are on the subject, let's talk about poop.  Nurses are obsessed with poop, as in did you poop today, how many times, and we are not letting you go home until you poop for us.

This was not fun for me since there were a couple days when I wasn't even getting anything but liquids for meals.  Try to make a poop out of THAT!

Then, I started pooping.  Everyone was happy, until I started farting and discovering they weren't just farts.  This is the glamorous side of nursing.  Changing poopy sheets for adults who can't tell a fart from a shit.

Dark days, people.

Nurses would be VERY happy if everyone pooped in the morning and got it over with.  I just didn't seem to shit on their schedule so I was on their Shit List.

And dare I talk about the doctors?

I can't hear.  I had three different doctors and not one would look in my ear because they don't do ears.  They do lungs.  They do urinary tracts.  They do whatever it is but ears.

I have no idea what nurses get paid, but I know it's not enough.  I know doctors get paid way too much for doing so little.

I know that I had more fun with the people taking me down to x-ray or for a CT scan of some body part.  I know when you aren't sure you are going to live that the people pushing your chair laugh with you when you laugh, because they can somehow see the humor in whatever you are pointing out.  They don't even seem to get embarrassed.  Like me, they are just looking for a bright side or maybe even a silver lining.

My nurses were [for the most part] the kindest, gentlest, most patient, most caring people I've ever met.  There was one who left me uncovered in my bed and because I was afraid she would come back if I turned the call light on I spent way too much time throwing and re-throwing the covers over myself until I felt warm and covered.  But she was an exception.  I really tried not to make their lives more miserable and I tried to be good.  If I couldn't make their days better at least I could make them not worse.

Right now I'm still trying to keep a sense of humor about me even though I've been up every 30 mins or so to pee for almost 3 hours.  I worry that someone will think The Boy isn't taking good enough care of me and they are going to take me away from him.  This would not be good for either of us.

Later I may tell you about the bed from hell that I had and how it had an alarm on it in case I tried to escape.  And the haunted room in the ICU they couldn't use because "we can't get the smell out of there."

I am so not kidding.
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TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I slept in this morning and got up around 10:30am.  I turned on my computer to load while I went to get some coffee (must have my coffee!) and hobbled back to see if I happened to catch Bratfink online.  Instead, I had a note waiting for me from her saying she had borrowed my blog (since a lot of people were visiting it for news about her) to leave a short blog.  She also asked if she could use it again, and I told her she was always welcome to do that.  So, watch for it.

A little later, she actually came on for a bit and we talked.  She was still pissed (as I had been) over the nurses schedule of torture and how sleep-deprived you get in the hospital.  At least I didn't hallucinate since I wasn't deprived going into it, she was.  But her sense of humor needed no repair.  The Boy found one of those raised toilet seat thingys out in the garage (bless the Mother, she really DID buy a lot of weird stuff) so Bratfink doesn't feel like she is trying to pee at a midget's house.  She was having a tough time both sitting down AND getting up.  She ought to try it with staples on both legs.    She also said it was softer so I guess it has a cushioned seat.  Anything that makes her comfortable is welcome.  Bless the Boy's heart.

She wasn't online long before she had to go lay down but it was shortly after that she came on again.  She's still hooked up to oxygen.  Says she is attached to a 60 foot snake.    I'll leave the whole experience to her to record when she's up to it but, suffice it to say, I missed her and I am glad she is back home.  Let's continue the prayers on her behalf so she finishes getting well.

MESSAGE TO FIONA:  It's the copious amount of fluid that concerns me.  I'm keeping a large towlet on it and it soaks it withing a few hours AND the area on my pajamas that covers it.  But the nurses reacted like you did.  It doesn't stink and is clear.  Sheesh.  I'm no nurse.  It scares ME.  I'd like to know WHY it's doing that.

Love you all.  Have a good week.  Can you believe it's FEBRUARY already?  The days are passing way too quickly for me. 

I'm borrowing Bratsis' blog to leave a short note.

First off, thank you all for all your prayers on my behalf.  I kid you not when I say that they probably saved my life.

One thing you must understand is that this was the first time I was in the hospital for any length of time relating to an actual illness.  And the one thing I learned and brought home with me is that you cannot get any decent sleep in a hospital, no matter how much you need it.  I was so sleep deprived I was hallucinating, and it really sucked.  If I wasn't so tired I might have enjoyed the bugs and the rats and the mice that were cavorting around my room.  At least I was lucid enough to know that what I was seeing was not real.

If the nurses are not waking you up for damn reason or another the idiotic machines that are pumping antibiotics and air into you malfunction and start beeping, which is a cue to the nurses to ignore the noise[s] until they get louder.  Apparently night time is also the time when they move all the furniture around in a hospital.  It's the only thing that can account for the noises I heard.

Oh, I DO feel for the nurses.  When things get 'slow' they send them outside to scrub the sidewalks on their hands and knees.  This is why they have ice cold hands.

The only way to survive a stay in the hospital is to maintain a sense of humor.  This means to scream every time a nurse gives you a shot or causes any amount of pain.  They never get tired of the screaming thing.  They think it's hysterical.

And maybe it was just being on the diabetic 'diet', but I enjoyed the food I finally got to eat in the hospital.  I even had some fish, which is something I don't normally eat.  It was Tilapia--or so I was told.

The bad part is I've come home deaf.  The ICU doctor told me it was oxygen filling my head holes, but I'm not so sure anymore.  I just know that I can't hear a fucking thing unless someone is yelling at me.

And we have oxygen machines in the house now.  I'm tethered to a 50 foot cannoli and so far Smiggy has not chewed on it although I've seen him eying it.  He's a chewer, he is. 

I have more to say but I just can't do it right now.  I must go lie down for a bit.

I will write more later, with Bratsis' OK.

Thanks again for your prayers.

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TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

I was totally stunned tonight after Chewlee went home with the Princess.  Figures that she was here later than normal.  We had been watching DVD's on my computer, rather than on the TV.  She did that for the first time while I was in the hospital on her Grandpa's computer.  HE wanted to watch his news and political talk shows so he fobbed off the DVD on computer thing to her.  Well, now she prefers that because she feels it's more comfortable to watch it...on MY lap.

When she left, I turned off the DVD we had been watching and what do I find?  An IM from Bratfink but she had signed off.    I left her a note and told her why I hadn't been able to see her IM.  I'm almost sick with regret that I missed it.

I'm really sick of Yogi Bear.  She played that DVD FOUR times today.  When I finally complained, she grabbed up *Madagascar* and we watched that.  She then grabbed *Godzilla 2000* for me mostly.  It's one she likes just because there's a young girl in it.  Then her mother got here and she ran off to put her shoes on.  I got up to say goodnight to the both of them and then came back and shut down the movie.  As she went out the door, she yelled, *We'll finish the movie tomorrow, Grandma*.  Yeah, right.  We will be getting her tomorrow although it's normally not our day.  It's to give the Princess a few hours to study for a big test she has to take on Tuesday.  The Beast is going to pick up Chewlee from Preschool on Tuesday also, because she won't be able to be back from Athens in time.  It will probably only be for an hour or so. 

Chewlee told me tonight that she wanted to live with us.  I told her she had her own home and her mother would miss her.  She said, *Well, I will take Mommy with me*.  When I told her I didn't think Mommy would want that, she actually laughed and accused me of *just joking*.  She said, *My Mommy loves me and wouldn't let me go alone.*  Weird kid!

Love yau all.  Take care and have a great Sunday. 

TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

Today was another hyperbaric day and I took a movie with me.  I watched *Cowboys And Aliens* (again) and it ended just about when I was getting normal pressure before I could get out.  The doctors and nurses were all very busy today (figures, it was Friday after all) so I couldn't get my wounds re-dressed while I was there.  I could and did do it myself but the HH Nurse said I should take my supplies and have them do it.  Yeah, sure.  So, when we got home, I took care of it myself.

I am, however, in a lot of pain in my right leg.  I have one ugly looking spot that is leaking fluid....a lot of fluid.  The only thing that comforts me is that the fluid is clear AND it doesn't have a bad smell.  I know it's the muscles responding to the presence of the staples.  When I sit down, my belly area on that side folds and I have staples that touch other staples.  I am now keeping a washrag over that area.  I tried a bandage but even that had some serious drawbacks.  The nurse will be here tomorrow and I will show it to her and see what she comes up with.

BratfinkJr. left me a message on an earlier blog that shows she was and still is very upset with all of us.  I told her I had no way to contact her because:  1) I don't have an email address for her;  2) I have no idea what city in Montana she lives in so I couldn't even try the white pages; 3)  I don't have her telephone number.  So, what the hell could I do to go against Bratfink's edict to the Boy.  The only reason *I* KNEW something was wrong was when she never got online for two days.  That was my first clue.  I knew she wasn't feeling good and wasn't getting much sleep for one reason or another.  The first day, I figured she must be sleeping better (and longer) but the second day scared the hell out of me.  I knew she would never do that voluntarily.  She would have gotten on and told me she was just signing on so I wouldn't worry but she was going back to bed...or whatever excuse she had.  I know that for sure because we have done that before.

I never thought BratfinkJr. shouldn't have been notified.  I would have called her myself IF I had a contact email or phone number for her.  I knew it wasn't a good move because she would be very upset.  Who wouldn't be?  When our mom got sick, all seven of us kids knew about it because that IS what families are supposed to do...share the joys and pains with each other.  BratfinkJr. said we should think about how WE would feel if it was OUR mother.  She was right but...I was not in the loop there with her information.  I never knew her last name until last year.  And I believe she's been married for a number of years.  Bratfink just never told me.  Oh well.  I DO love BratfinkJr. and I'm sorry she's angry with me.  I hope she gets over that because I really WAS helpless on that score.

Good news regarding Bratfink.  The doctors are talking about letting her go home this weekend.  The Boy bought her a new mattress.  You know the kind....a Tempurpedic.  He bought a cheap imitation and regrets it now because it's already wearing on the edges.  Bratfink's carries a great guarantee and he says after sitting or laying on it, it immediately bounces back.  He hopes when she gets home that she gets the best sleep she has ever had.  The mattress is specially designed for people who are *big*, if you know what I mean.  Good going, Boy.  What a thoughtful thing to do.

Today Chewlee decided she wanted to watch Yogi again and then we watched * Dr. Dolittle 2*.  She just loves that bear!  Her mother, who usually has Friday's off, had to work today.  We figured she would get off at closing but she surprised us by getting off an hour and a half earlier.  Chewlee hurriedly ate her cereal she had begged for and her chocolate milk then got on her boots to go home.  She was unusually calm today and wasn't talking a mile a minute.  She went to get something at one point and said, in a semi-panicked voice, *Where's Papa???*

Papa had gone to Huntsville to rent a buffer for our floors.  He ended up having to rent because the buffer he had ordered from Lowe's was not going to be available for two more weeks.  He had ordered it more than a week ago and it was supposed to be delivered today.  It took two trips before he was given the bad news.  It left a bad taste in his mouth that he hadn't been notified earlier so he cancelled the order.  He ordered it from Amazon even though that one said *two weeks* also.  But he knows that up front.  He's renting a buffer in the meantime so that he can buff and actually harden the wax on the floor.  It will also even it out and, hopefully, Baron's footprints won't show up so badly once that's done.

Love you all.  Brace yourself.  Weatherbug shows the *warm spell* is over and really cold weather will be back with us.  Drive carefully due to black ice possibilities.  *Our* highs will only be (at best) around 40-42.  Temperatures in the 20's at night.  **Sigh**