WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS SOME ADULT MATERIAL AND INFORMATION THAT SOME MIGHT OBJECT TO ABOUT VIBRATORS AND SEX. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, KINDLY FIND ANOTHER BLOG TO READ. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

I have a few things to discuss before I tell you why this is titled the way it is and the first of these things is ED. Yes, those awful commercials about (ugh) Erectile Dysfunction! I just hate those. First of all, they are on damn near all day long and loads of young children (all with curious minds) get to see and hear them. I can almost imagine the questions they ask their parents about that subject.

I don't object to children having questions about sex at all and parents giving them the information they need and can absorb at whatever age they are at the time. I DO hate questions coming just because of these stupid commercials. Our children lose their innocence way to early as it is but those ED commercials seem to run in clusters.

If you add the fact that many men do NOT like the idea of having to take a pill in order to make love to the woman/women in their lives, it's just sad that these commercials are allowed to be run during the daytime. Most men that might want the information are at work during those hours so what is the point?

I have two people that I know very well that have men in their lives with ED. One doesn't talk about it much, at least with me. She has discussed it in more detail with others but, from what I understand, she doesn't have any really terrible objections to things being the way they are or she would be looking elsewhere. The other DOES talk to me and she is *into* cuddling and he takes care of her in other ways (oral sex and use of a vibrator to enhance the experience). In his case, it's primarily because of high blood pressure medications and he has threatened to quit taking them because she is much younger than he is and he's afraid she WILL look for another man. Silly man. If a woman loves a man, she has a lot of other things that are more important to her than sex if she is not very young.

I am amazed at the variations in *personal massage* tools available, aka vibrators. If you go to what our family refers to as a *Fuckerware* party, a lot of ones that looks like actual penises are available. Some vibrate, some wiggle and vibrate. Some look like a normal man's penis; others are humongous! I've seen women become hypnotized by some of those and carefully examine their checkbooks and wallets to see if they can order them. Some lust after them but don't order them, not because they don't WANT them but because they don't want to hurt the feelings of their partner. Men are always concerned that their penis is too small or just not *enough*. Like women want big breasts, men want a penis other men envy and women will talk about.

I have used a vibrator to achieve orgasm myself...sometimes with my partner (yeah, the Beast did so love to explore various techniques for that) and sometimes alone. There were times I would be reading a rather racy novel and would just KNOW that I wanted to share the experience of the heroine and would pull that sucker out of the drawer next to my bed and join in. But, know what? It really never was as good as having a real penis inside you when that moment arrives. I did miss that *closeness* of body and spirit at times. But it still would relieve the tension I was undergoing for one reason or another and was very satisfying of it's own. I guess it is much like a man's masturbation for the same reason.

'Nuff said on that subject now. I will discuss more about ED in the future.

Now, about paybacks.....the Beast took Baron, our dog, with him to my son's house in Tennessee (only an 85 mile trip from our home in NE Alabama) in order to get a laptop fixed. The laptop belongs to my niece Tara's son. He bought it from his oldest brother with money he earned while visiting with his grandparents in Ohio. What his older brother neglected to tell him was that the laptop was screwed up royally. The Beast fixed it as well as he possibly could and needed my son, the tech, to complete it.

Baron loves to travel. He's wonderful when we travel, no matter how long the trip. He expects to go out in the car with the Beast even if it's just to Lowe's or to fill up the car with gas. He doesn't care how long or short the drive, he wants to go with him. So they make the trip there and back and he's a happy camper.

However, the Beast had a problem with blood in his urine (and clots) so I had made an appointment with the doctor for him. That was one trip the dog could NOT make and he was left here at home with me. He was NOT happy. After about a half hour or so of chewing on one of his rawhide bones in my computer room, the dog got up, dropped it and went out towards the living room.

I didn't worry about it because he often likes to lay down on the couch to take a nap. We keep a special blanket on it and he knows if it is on there, he's allowed up on the couch. However, I went to check on him after about five minutes or so just to make sure he wasn't up to any mischief.

I was surprised he wasn't on the couch and headed towards my bedroom (he also lays down to take a nap with the Beast on our bed). I was shocked to see one of our bed pillows inside the dog's kennel in the bedroom. I walked in and the dog was sleeping on MY side of the bed and the pillow inside the kennel was the Beast's. I checked the pillow and it had NOT been chewed on (no wet spots), just dragged into the kennel and left there. I cracked up because I *knew* what was going on in that dog's mind.

Whenever the dog is bad, displaying unacceptable behavior, he is put into the kennel for 5-15 minutes as a kind of punishment/time-out. So, he put the Beast's pillow in the kennel as a statement. The Beast was *bad* and that is where he had to go when he returned home. I just roared. I had to share it with my sister, Dee and she knew what the dog was trying to say, also. She has owned her own dogs and they have true personalities.

When the Beast got home, I told him all about what happened. When I told him that Baron had dragged his pillow into the kennel and left it there, then jumped up on the bed to nap, he cracked up. He also knew that Baron was totally pissed at him and was saying that the kennel was where he had to go. Animal are funny and paybacks can be funny, too.

The Beast is at the hospital having a test to see if he has kidney stones that may be causing the blood in the urine. We are praying he does (as painful as those can be) because the alternatives are not good. Pray for him, please. We won't find out the results until tomorrow but we have lots of hope.

Love you all and enjoy your day.

Yesterday, the Beast and I celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary. What is so funny is that everyone who knew us way back when believed we wouldn't make it through the first year! LOL...and many of these same people are no longer married to the person they were wed to then.

Of course, it was NOT a bowl of cherries. Well, it could have been but some were pretty rotten and started to spoil the rest but commitment persisted and here we are! Now we are so used to each others foibles that it makes more sense to stay together than not. Besides, there is real affection remaining and so many shared memories. We've been through good times and bad. We are not driven by sex at our age but I still like to know he's there, sharing my bed. He's been wonderful during the time I have been so sick and I don't think it was because *I* was so good to HIM when he was recovering from his strokes. I think it was because he still loves me, too. And that is what makes our marriage work these days. We still enjoy many things together...like traveling. I give him his space when he is doing all the things he likes to do and vice versa. It works for us both and that's more than enough. I admit that I still liked when he was traveling and doing his consulting work. That time alone was fantastic for me because I could do some things that I liked to do and not have to worry about meals (I ate when I got hungry, not when HE was hungry), I slept as long as I wanted (although I confess that lately he's been up a lot earlier than I have and stays quiet so he doesn't disturb me) and went to bed when I darn well felt like it. I still do that but I don't have him getting up and saying to me, *Do you have any idea what time it is?* I ignore him but it's an annoyance I can do without.

He asked me what I wanted to do for our anniversary and I just said, *Relax. No chores, fend for yourself eating...that kind of stuff* and his face lit up in agreement. So that is what we did. He must have take four or five naps and didn't do any of his outside chores. I didn't even make up our bed until late..and then I just *straightened* it up a bit so the Beast wouldn't end up pulling covers off me all night long. We ate when we got hungry (and fended for ourselves except for once...the Beast fried up some bacon and made me a bacon and egg sandwich) It was a nice surprise.

It might not be your idea of a great way to spend an anniversary but it sure worked for me. Besides, I am just now starting to feel better with this damned Irritable Bowel Syndrome and I didn't want to push it. I want it to be over and done with before we go to the weddings in September. I do NOT want to have to worry about being in pain and taking pain medications. Spoils all the fun I intend to enjoy just thinking about it.

I mentioned that my doctor had put me on an antibiotic for 10 days the last time I saw him. Well, I went in to see him again (as he scheduled) after two weeks. He put me on a different antibiotic for another 10 days and a different pain pill and said that I should feel MUCH better after this round. I guess he must have been doing some research on the subject or something because, in talking to an aunt that had it, it's what she went through, too. I AM avoiding some foods that I already know seem to aggravate it (the doctor told me a few but my aunt shared a few more) so that this will work, hopefully.

As for the hummingbirds.....they are feeding from the feeder more often now so I guess all their natural food has pretty much died off. I have no idea what they did before people put out feeders. Sap from fruit, perhaps? I have no idea. But what is so cute is that it's obvious that some of the birds that are feeding are hummingbird babies. Or at least juveniles because their feathers are not colorful yet and kind of messy looking. The Beast took a few pictures and when he blew up the part with the hummingbirds, he was shocked at the messy feathers. I took one look at it and said, OMG...those are little ones probably just starting to fly!!! They had that *ugly duckling* kind of look with some mature feathers and some that looked like down. They ARE smaller than most of the hummingbirds we usually get and I will be watching them with interest.

I have noticed that the older ones feed early in the day and at dusk more so than during the warmer (hotter) part of the day. It's something the juveniles will learn in time, I am sure. The Beast has his tripod set up out on the deck so that the birds will get used to it out there and won't get spooked when he has his camera on it. They are already used to our being out there and will feed even when we are out there enjoying our morning coffee or late afternoon sweet tea (yes, I make sweet tea but I have always done that and it's not just because we live in the South). After all, if everyone in your house and most of your friends drink iced tea with sugar, it's easier to premix it).

On a different note, the Beast has been letting Baron take his naps with him (on our bed) and we are not using the kennel very often. I was having to drag the dog off the bed every night before I could go to sleep because he would be sleeping on MY pillows and on MY space. The Beast is really bad about making the dog get off the bed to try to get him used to sleeping on the floor. It won't happen in MY lifetime if it's up to him. I intend to find a bed (the dog does like his comfort) that fits him and has enough padding for him. Then, if needs be, *I* will get him used to using it if it requires me staying up a couple of nights.

Anyway, I guess he got tired of my waking him up and dragging him off the bed. The past two nights, when I have gone into the bedroom prepared to wrestle with him half-asleep on my side of the bed, lo-and-behold...he's been asleep about mid-bed but towards the bottom and I could crawl into bed with no problems. I guess he finally figured it out. I would make him go into the kennel so he wouldn't just jump up on the bed and he hated that. He would make the most pitiful little whines for a while before he would settle down and go back to sleep. I could ignore that because I knew he wasn't uncomfortable. He has a favorite rug in there that's nice, thick and cushy.

Well, that's about all I have to say today. I'm going to go play a game on Pogo and relax for a while. Love you all. Remember to tell those you love that you do so every time you see or talk to them. It's easy to close a telephone conversation with *I love you*. It only feels funny the first few times but you will be amazed at how, little-by-little, people will start to respond the same way all the time. It's second nature to most of my family these days. You just never know when it might be the last time you talk to that person. Life comes with no guarantees. Even with young people these days. It's sad but true.

Love well, laugh often and dance like no one is watching. Live each day like it might be your last.