I have no idea if it is because Spring is in the air or the HOPE of Spring is in everyone's mind but there's been a lot of talk on the Internet about it. I like to chat on Pogo while playing games and tend to go into the same room for different games. After a while, you get to know the people you play with all the time. There are a lot of us addicted to games on the Pogo. I love the Bingo Luau because you just put the cursor over a number and if you get a shadow of your daub, it means the number has been called. Makes catching up easy and, if you are chatting and miss a number or two or three, same thing.

Last night we got onto the subject of spring and how everyone is seeing signs of it coming if it isn't already here. Everyone seems to have had their fill of winter weather, snow, ice and cold. From there we gravitated into talking about love and marriage. Seemed to just flow naturally.

People of all ages play in *my* room. We have young people and old and everything in-between. Some of us have been married all our lives (or so it seems) and others are either *in love*, *looking for love* or *living with* someone. It was amazing how similar the advice we *older* folks gave to the young ones *in love but....* and the ones looking for love. One young gal was *in love* but didn't know if he felt the same way. Eventually we found out that he seems to go out of his way to be with her and that he's always kind. Our advice? Don't *cling* to him and give him the space to find his own feelings. Whether he felt she was a *sister* or if he had real interest, he needed to find out for himself. Guys hate clinging gals and it might just push him away before he had a chance to examine his feelings.

She didn't have a lot of confidence in herself that she was *loveable* was part of the problem so we told her to make a list of things that were good about her. Then make a list of things that were negative. We also told her to work on the negative but keep telling herself all the positive things about herself. She had to believe she had something to offer a guy/man before she would find love. One man said to her, *Honey, if you don't have confidence in yourself, someone could come along and just take advantage of you. We (men) can spot the gal that is ready to believe anything we tell her because she is so *needy* for love. We can make her believe we love her and take advantage like you wouldn't believe because men are wired differently than women. We will say anything we think she needs to hear to get into her britches and walk away afterwards. We don't need to *be in love* to get a hard-on. We just need to know we CAN get laid*

She was astonished (and so were a few of us women because how often does a man admit that fact?). Then we went on to discuss how long some of us were married (anywhere from 5 years to 53 years) and how we felt about our marriages and our choices. Some people had dated their spouses for a long time before marrying (I had dated mine off-and-on for 4-1/2 years); others had known theirs for as little as 9 days (this woman was married 38 years to the same man so there IS such a thing as *love at first sight*). Many of us said that they would still marry the same person but would have handled a lot of things differently if they had known what they know now. Others said that they would not have married the same person. Some said they would remarry if their spouse died. Others said *NO WAY* would they have another woman/man in their life.

One theme was the same though. All admitted that marriage was hard work and it required a lot of compromises and changes. We all agreed that having common goals helped. Not everyone agreed that you didn't have to share the same interests (the disagree-ers were young). The Beast loves photography, woodworking and his fruit trees. I love crocheting, painting ceramics, my garden, my grandkids and my family, not necessarily in that order. I keep in contact with my family either through the internet or with phone calls. The Beast seldom calls his family and when he does, it's usually his brother...well, ONE of his brothers. He only talks to his mother when her health has taken a turn for the worst. I can understand that more NOW since she is starting to show all the signs of alzheimers and he's never sure if she knows who she is talking to these days.

In fact, most of us believe that having different interests really helps some marriages. It keeps you from spending 24/7 in each others company. I also believe it keeps you more interesting and your mind more alert. We even play (and love) different games on Pogo. The Beast is extremely competitive, I am not. I like to compete with myself and get better (or faster) at doing tasks. I track how long it takes me to complete a mahjongg puzzle and don't care if anyone else does it faster (and a lot of people do!) I don't track how many bingos I get; I just enjoy the company and love when I do bingo but don't get depressed when I don't. Somehow, I think being yin/yang is better for a marriage than being alike but that's just me.

The Beast has changed from when he was younger. He felt that I should believe exactly the same things he did; he also believed that I should FEEL the same way about things that he did. This caused many, many problems in our early years of marriage because I can be very stubborn about those kinds of things. In fact, if I had been more *pliable*, our marriage would have gone much, much smoother and I would not have had many of the problems. I would, however, have been very unhappy and depressed over the constant compromising that only *I* was doing. I actually tried that early in our marriage but changed my ways when it made him worse because he actually thought he was totally right about everything. THAT is maddening.

Nowadays he does not expect me to feel like he does about everything, even in politics. He is also more respectful of my opinions because he knows I allow HIM to feel differently than I do about many things. I have always let him be himself and do things that I don't enjoy or, worse yet, do things I DO enjoy but haven't been able to take the time off from other obligations. That happened a lot when we were raising our one granddaughter and she was in school. I couldn't pack up and go fishing in the Bahamas with him because of that. But I would pack him up, fix food to last him and his cousin for three or four days, make sure they had all the comforts necessary to enjoy themselves and wish them well as they left on another of their *adventures*.

I am flying into Chicago for a wedding of a nephew in a couple weeks. He jumped at the chance to stay home to take care of the dog because he doesn't particularly enjoy those kind of get-togethers. He doesn't dance, can't drink (not since his strokes and on his meds), and we haven't been particularly close to this nephew. It doesn't matter to me. His mother is MY sister, he is MY nephew and it's his first marriage. I have so seldom gotten to attend events like this while I was working or we were building our business that I wanted to attend. Besides, I wanted to see my family and have a nice showing of family for my nephew's sake. I was told he was thrilled that I was coming (and my other sister, C, is flying up from Florida for it). He didn't think either of us would be there. I live in the boondocks, so to speak, so flying from here to there is a major task with the plane changes. But....I will be staying with my sisters, Bee and Dee, so it is worth it to me. The Beast thinks I am nuts. C'est la vie!

What's fun about having these conversations in a chat is not just the differences but also the similarities of feelings as we get older and/or are married longer. We all agree that, no matter what, we would miss our spouses if something happens to them. We also agree that we would survive it without having to move in with kids or find someone else to fill their spot. Most of us feel that if we should happen to remarry, well, it would be a surprise to find true compatibility and love but not a necessity.

Oh well, just found out we are expecting a four hour long freeze in the wee hours of the morning. This could be disastrous for our blossoming fruit trees. We lost almost all our fruit last year to something like this. Only those trees that have buds but haven't blossomed won't be harmed. I will report on what happened in my next post.

Love you all. Have a wonderful week and watch for Spring! It really IS on it's way.

I was horrified to realize after I had posted the blog about my missing granddaughter that I had misspelled Clint's last name. My mistake was due to being very upset and hating the man, I think. (Okay...maybe getting old has some small part in it, too). The thing is, all my grandchildren have the Vancil surname and my daughter never married him so I could have gone the rest of my life never having to spell the darn name.

I found out how to correct my blog so anyone viewing it from this day forward will have the correct spelling. I have started my own search but, even if she had a site on MYSPACE or one of the others that young people have these days, it would be under a pseudonym so I'm screwed that way. I wouldn't even recognize her face as it is today. I have pictures galore of her as a young child but then the contact ended. I DID have some pictures of her sent to me via email by her father once when she was about 10 but I lost those when my hard drive crashed. It was a worm I think so even an attempt to retrieve them would not have worked.

I am completely dependent on hoping that someone in this big country of ours recognizes the story or the name and emails me or some such thing. One of my sisters checked and found out we ARE listed in the Yahoo white pages so if Teri Lynn finds out we are looking for her, maybe she will remember our first names. I told my sister, D, that I wonder if I could get us republished in the yahoo white pages as Grandma and Grandpa Vancil to make it easier? That got a laugh, of course.

The Beast is sick still. He woke up with a chest cold the other morning and tried ignoring it to fight it off but that never works for him. He needs to baby himself and get a lot of rest. I did get him to take some Dayquil but he wouldn't take the Nyquil because it was cherry-flavor. He likes the original and swears the cherry doesn't work for him. I think that's all in his head but you can't argue with a man. He's running a slight fever and keeps getting the chills. He was on the couch last night with a heating pad and a warm blanket I got for him. That's HIS idea of babying himself. He's even worse today so I will be doing the chicken noodle soup thing and keeping him hydrated with tea or whatever liquid of choice that he's up to drinking.

Our weird weather isn't helping much. It's been up in the low 70's during the day then dropping down to about 35 at night. We have had two great sunny days out of the last three but tomorrow, Easter Sunday, is supposed to be cloudy and rainy. That means high humidity and more chills for the Beast. I'm going to have to run up to WalMart today and pick up a ham for our dinner tomorrow (if he's up to it). But ham is on sale so I'm going to bite the bullet and make it for us. I'll cut up and separate the leftover ham and freeze it for future meals. Now if I can only find some dried split peas in this town, I will be a happy camper. I haven't been able to find any in months. Since I am flying to Chicago in a couple weeks for a wedding, I might just have to buy myself a supply while I'm there to bring home with me. Incredible, isn't it? Something as basic as split peas and it's like a rare commodity in this area of the south.

I guess I'll break down and buy the Beast some of his favorite flavor Nyquil while I'm there. I have to see the pharmacist anyway about why he only gave me 20 pain pills with 17 refills! I have a feeling it has something to do with my new Rx card. Since when do insurance companies have the right to determine how many pills you get when it's ordered by a physician? This isn't the first time I've had that happen but it pisses me off that the pharmacist didn't talk to me and let me know about this so we could decide on an alternative. You know, like me paying for the pills the insurance company doesn't want to cover? Is that so difficult? I just don't know about this lack of common sense that is going around any more. It's like a disease has destroyed common sense and it's spreading.

Well, time to get the beast some chicken *penicillin* and make up my list for the store. Love you all and remember the name *Buchanan*. If someone knows a Teri Buchanan she WILL recognize the Vancil name if asked, I am sure.
Tell those you love that you love them often. Happy Easter everyone.

On my post yesterday, I told the story of my missing granddaughter, Teri Lynn Vancil-Buchanan. I think what set off my mind with worry was something I had seen on TV a few days previously. It concerns predators. You know the kind I mean. I had gotten pictures of Teri Lynn sent to me once when she was approximately 10 years old and I was a bit shocked and horrified that she would #1 have such ugly glasses and #2 her clothes were shapeless and unattractive. This is apparantly something that many fathers who are abusing their daughters do to keep them from being noticed by boys and even other girls. They keep them looking ugly and do not allow them anything feminine to keep them *safe* from outsiders. The idea that it might be a *like father, like son* thing going made me sick to my stomach. I mean, what could you possibly do to help out if such a thing was actually taking place?

Oh, I know this is all a worse-case scenario I've built up in my mind but the ugly clothes could not possibly have been her choice. She always loved girly things and had a bikini even as a 2 year old (her choice). She had to have corrective surgery on one of her eyes at 18 months old because of a lazy eye as it's called but she came through it fine. Shands Hospital in Gainesville is well-known for such things. It's also the hospital where she was born. The glasses didn't surprise me but the ugly black or dark brown frames did. Teri had had glasses since after her surgery and was always wonderful about using them and keeping them on. I remember her first pair which looked like something that went onto a doll. They were clear with little tiny multi-colored hearts in them. She wore them without fuss at the tender age of 18 months old.

Anyway, even if Clint wanted to keep Teri from her mother, I don't know why the courts don't consider grandparents have rights too. These kids are OUR flesh and blood too. I have missed out on some of the most fun years of her life. I found out that some of the Christmas gifts meant for Teri never got to her so I am sure she thought even WE never thought about her again after she was given to her father. I know the only reason that my daughter considered it was because Clint had stopped drinking, had married and the woman seemed like a wonderful step-mother type who would treat Teri lovingly (and she did from all I knew at first). But when the marriage broke apart, I think my daughter would have taken Teri back rather than see her subjected to the vagabond type lifestyle that is all Clint would have to offer her. It breaks my heart. 'Nuff said now. I thank everyone that read the blog and, hopefully, passed it along. There just may be hope to find her since the world wide web makes this a much smaller world. I know that if she is located and looks us up on Yahoo white pages, she can call collect any time. I hope my heart stays strong and I stay healthy enough to see that day come.

Now that Spring has officially arisen, I was driving home from Wal Mart the other day and noticed all the signs. Trees are blossoming. The magnolias are starting to bloom. The country road I take home has farms on both sides of the road and many of the farmers were putting down straw prior to plowing the fields that will have cotton, hay and other crops common to this area. Horses were let out into fields and cows were grazing. It was an idyllic day full of the excitement of spring and things to come.

When I got home, I looked around and almost all of our fruit trees were breaking out into blossoms. The peach trees had been the first but suddenly I noticed the pears, plums and even the cherry trees were either blooming or budding out. Our red maple trees also had small red flowers on them which was a real surprise to us. I had no idea they did that. Our sugar peach has both pink and white blossoms on it.

I came home and broke out my wildflower seeds and some azalea seeds to plant in a hanging moss planter and get started. I had never soaked and formed moss before and it's quite an experience but I did manage to get the wire frame filled and then put the dirt into it. After sowing some of the different flower seeds I had, I added a little bit of the azaleas and wildflowers and a thin layer of soil over that. Then it's sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle to get the seeds to germinate in the next few days. I noticed some little green tendrils today when I misted it so I'm getting a bit excited to see how this is going to look.

Even Baron is feeling his oats with this weather. It still gets a bit chilly at night but is in the 60's during the day. We should see some 70 degree weather this weekend. Heck, that's almost shorts weather!

My niece, Tara, is taking her kids down to Tallahassee to spend the weekend with her brother, his wife and step-kids and their brand new baby girl. I've seen her picture and she's cute as all new babies are. I hope she has a good time because she starts her new job next week and she won't be taking too many trips out of the area for a while.

Well, the Beast is making cleaning up noises so I think I will join him and see what I want to make for dinner. I still haven't decided what I am making us for dinner this Sunday (Happy Easter everyone! Hope the Easter Bunny is good to you.) I was thinking maybe a hungryman meal Just kidding.

Love you. Again, thank you to my sister, D for linking the blog about my granddaughter, and to everyone else that read it. Have a wonderful weekend.

Last night I had a dream about my *lost* granddaughter, Teri Lynn. She's been in the possession of her biological father now for about 10 years and I woke up crying about all the love that both she and we have lost out on. In some ways, I feel responsible for her ending up with her father. Her mother had dropped her off with me for *a while* that went into weeks with little or no contact with her mother. It was taking her toll on my granddaughter who missed her mother. In an effort to make my daugher become the mother that Teri Lynn needed, I told my daughter that it *wasn't fair* that she just left her here and wasn't spending any time with her daughter. Teri NEEDED her mother and felt abandoned. We also already had custody of another granddaughter and just didn't feel that we should shoulder that added responsibility when Teri's mom was perfectly capable of it. She was just having herself a good old time working and partying because she knew that her kid was taken care of by us, her grandparents.

If I had known what my using guilt tactics would bring, I would tear out my tongue now. A few days later, my daughter showed up to let me know that Clint Buchanan (yes, that's the bastard's name) and his new wife were coming to get her, I would have moved heaven and earth to have things be different. If my daughter had just given us custody of Teri Lynn, we would have kept her and raised her as we did the other granddaughter.

Let me tell you a little about Clint Buchanan. When my daughter first got mixed up with him, I had to admit, he had some appealing looks. I could see why she would be attracted to him. But he was bad news on the hoof, from a more experienced point of view. I grew up with a lot of guys like him. Bad boys, rebels, wild and quick to fight. He had a bad rep we found out from one of the cops that lived in our neighborhood. My daughter was a little on the wild side but overall a good kid. Her wildness was a love for excitement. She loved mudding out in the everglades and didn't care if she looked like some monster from the bog when the day was done. She would just hose herself off, be laughing and go shower and change for a night of playing pool or darts or whatever her current passion was at the time.

I knew she liked to smoke marijuana from time to time but it wasn't something she did ALL the time and it was strictly forbidden in our house (at least while her father or I was around and the smell was always cleared from the house before we got home). She worked, had an outgoing personality and was well-liked by her customers and her wide circle of friends. Some of the guys she liked we really never knew, others we got to know fairly well. We didn't always agree with her choices but it's all part of the growing up process. God knows my parents didn't know half of the guys *I* was hooked up with and some were little more than gangster wannabes. But I always knew, deep in my heart, that it was just something I wanted to *taste*. My goals were not to live like the people I grew up around. I wanted to own my own home someday, have kids and live a normal, nice and, hopefully, interesting life. I didn't want to be always involved with the police or visiting my hubby, boyfriend or family members in prison or jail. That's pretty much what a lot of the family's took for granted in the area of Chicago I grew up in.

Clint, I knew, would be one of those guys. Somehow or other, he would end up in prison or worse, dead, from a bar fight or some such thing. It showed (to me and her father anyway). My daughter was enthralled however and there was no changing her mind. The next thing I knew, she and Clint moved clear up to northern Florida (town of Lake City) and that is where she became pregnant.

I knew she wasn't happy after a while. Even before the pregnancy but had no idea why. I could guess but she wasn't saying. We later found out he was *one of those*....a guy who gets drunk and beats up the wife or girlfriend. He actually broke her arm once but we never knew about that. He also threw her down a set of stairs when she was about six or seven months pregnant. That was something else we found out about later from our son who happened to be staying with his sister at the time. She swore him to secrecy because she was afraid of how her father would react.

Along came Teri Lynn, finally. The sweetest, most adorable (yes, I am a grandmother but she was beautiful) little girl. Sweet dispositioned and perfectly formed. She even had long dark hair. I loved her from the moment I saw her.
Still, my daughter stayed with Clint, thinking the baby would make a difference. His folks lived in the area and I guess she hoped that would help out too. We didn't get to visit much but I called, sent gifts and tried to keep in touch while her dad and I were building our business. We often sent money.

I took a trip to N. Carolina to visit with a cousin of mine that I had been close to much of my life when I found out she was dying of cancer. I stopped at my daughter's to pick up my son so he could make the trip with me and I found out that Clint was beating her up. The bruises were a dead giveaway. My son told me much more on the trip and my heart just sank. It seems Clint's father was a convicted child molester. He had spent time in prison for molesting his own daughters and there was some controversy about a child conceived by one of them. They refused to have anything to do with him (can you blame them?) but I was horrified to find out that my daughter often left HER daughter with the grandmother when she was working. Guess where the grandfather lived since getting out of prison? I thought there were rules about that. I know more now than I did then and would have reported the situation to the police if I had known. The only blessing was that Teri was a baby then. Not quite the age that the grandfather had started molesting his own daughters. I even met the man before I knew his history. He and his wife lived in a trailer on a big piece of property in an area called O'Brien, Florida. No paved roads, drive the garbage to a central collection point for pickup, ATV tracks and dirt bike trails everywhere and miles away from any conveniences. Chickens and roosters free-ranged all over the place. Not that I think that's necessarily bad but it's also far from law enforcement and I swear everyone there had rifles in their pickups. It reminded me of an area where white supremists would live. Kind of scary.

My daughter finally left Clint after one particularly scary night when he tried to kill her and she went running through a cornfield with her daughter in her arms. She returned the next day with the cops, collected what she could and returned to South Florida. We found out that Clint was NOT named as the biological father on Teri's birth certificate (and I doubt a dna test has been performned to this day). How Clint got her, I'll explain later.

My daughter seems to have finally gotten Clint out of her system and ended up dating a commercial airline pilot. He seemed like a nice guy, also seemed fond of Teri Lynn and she of him (you learn to look for those signs) and they began living together. Clint was a thorn in our side because he kept calling, wanting to talk to our daughter, who mostly dodged his calls but told him flat out NO SHE WAS NOT COMING BACK and to LEAVE HER ALONE. It got so bad that the pilot finally took a commercial freight job in Texas to get them out of the area and away from the jerk Clint.

I have actually forgotten why they ended up back in South Florida (although I have my suspicions) but end up back there they did. I loved it and got to see a lot of Teri Lynn. I just adored her. She had the most wonderful imagination and was an incredible *mommy* to all her doll babies. She would feed them, change their diapers, take them for walks, sit out in the sun with them or have them resting in chairs while she and my other granddaughter were playing in our pool. Then it became nap time and she seriously put them down for their naps and act so relieved that she finally had some free time for herself.

It always cracked me up when she would, out of the blue, suddenly lift her head and say, *Oh, the babies are up!* and run back to her bedroom to get them up from their naps. She even put them in *time outs* when they misbehaved. I tell you, that kid had an incredible imagination. It was a pleasure to have her around but she broke my heart when she would ask if her mommy called or was going to come and see her and I had to tell her NO....she wouldn't let me make excuses. She would just sigh and say, *Oh well.* So you can see why I felt it was time to try to make my daughter be the mother she should have been.

The day she came to my home to pack up Teri's stuff because her father and Ginny, the new wife, were coming to get Teri, I could have died. I admit, I had spoken to Ginny several times when Clint had called about seeing his daughter. I actually suspected he didn't care but his wife expected him to and that was why he was doing it. Ginny had two boys she had been raising by herself (she had a good job in Tallahassee) and they were renting a house there where she had prepared a room for Teri Lynn, the daughter she didn't have and had wanted. My heart was broken but I knew as long as Ginny was around, Teri would have the mother she needed.

It wasn't long after they left (and Teri was terrified when she had to get into the car with them) and I had cried a river of tears over my stupidity that I found out the marriage had blown up. Clint started drinking again (he had quit in order to get Ginny to marry him but I guess she wasn't the cash cow he hoped for). He beat her up, she threw him out and divorced him. I got a phone call from her and she apologized to me because she couldn't keep Teri with her since she wasn't her mother. I got the creeps after that call. I knew if we ever heard from her again, it would be few and far between. I was right.

I actually got a phone call once when Teri was about 10. Clint let her get on the phone with me and even emailed me some pictures of Teri Lynn that I lost when my hard drive died on that computer. The only pictures I have of her are ones when she was 5 and under. She is now about 15 years old.

My daughter married an incredibly nice man a few years ago. This is after they had lived together for five or six years. He took up the cause of trying to locate Teri Lynn because Clint is the type that is always one step ahead of the law or the bill collector. He is constantly on the move, changing jobs (he works construction and his last known location was in Tallahassee area). He is some kind of block finisher and talented from what I understand. I don't think he will ever leave the Florida area because of that but you never know. I just know that he totally disregarded the legal agreement he made with my daughter about custody sharing and being able to keep in contact with her mother.

The last time I talked to Teri Lynn, she asked about her mother. She wanted to know if her mother had gotten married or had any other children. I told her *No, honey. The only baby she ever wanted was YOU.* I found out Clint had told her that her mother wanted to get rid of her when she found out she was pregnant. Nice guy, huh?
Even if it were true, it's not a thing to tell a kid. He said the only reason she was alive was because HE wouldn't let her get an abortion. Yeah, right. The throwing her down the stairs was an attempt to end the pregnancy. My son said he was very disappointed that it didn't happen and my son was fearful it would happen again. It didn't, thank god, but she might as well not be alive right now. In fact, we have no reason to know if she is or isn't. We haven't heard hide nor hair from her again since that time and we've moved several times since then. The last place she knew we lived was Margate, Florida. We've since moved to Port Charlotte, Florida and now to Alabama. I could pass her on the street and never know her. I'm sure she thinks we all just disappeared on her and don't even think about her.

I dreamt about her last night and woke up in tears because she lashed out at me and said...didn't you love me? Didn't you care? How could my mother leave me with HIM? How could she not keep looking and looking if she loved me? I had no answer for that. Just tears. Not too many people read my blog but who knows. If anyone knows a girl born on January 25 who is now 15 years old, her name will either be Teri Lynn Buchanan or Teri Lynn Vancil, please let me know in the comments area. I need to know and so does her mother. She and her hubby were spending lots of money on private detectives that would find Clint and then, with some sixth sense, he would suddenly disappear again with Teri Lynn.

(drying tears again) As for the Observations on Spring that I was going to go into, I think I will come back in a day or two. I'm really drained.

I love you. And remember from this experience, you just never know when someone you love will be torn from your life and never be seen again. Keep the people you love close. I pray I get to see her again before I die.

The Beast came home on Tuesday evening. He didn't leave early in the morning like he usually does and he even stopped at the TyTy Nursery to buy a couple more fruit trees (yes, more trees that grow stuff you can eat). Yet he was home at a fairly decent time (around 8:30pm or so, I think). I know he was burning rubber to get home in that short a time from Titusville. He ran into some heavy traffic around Atlanta (of course) so, when he was past all that congestion, I know he was speeding WAY over the limit. He probably overworked his guardian angel to not get a ticket or two or three. I know him.

What surprises me is the fact that he STILL managed to get 38 miles to the gallon on the Corolla. He had been writing down the mileage and the amount of gas from the time he left here with a full tank to when we filled it up on Thursday. He did 39 mpg on his way down to Titusville so I know he was feeling smug inside that he didn't get worse gas mileage even with speeding and eating up that gas. But I am very impressed by the Corolla. As much as it lacks in luxury compared to the Camry, it sure makes up for it in gas mileage. With gas prices being so high lately, it all helps when you are on a limited budget.

He spent yesterday digging holes to plant his trees (and the ones he bought at Lowes when he got home). He finally found the pollinator for the Bartlett pear trees. And he got his Black Tarterian that is a pollinator for the Bing cherries I believe.

The peach trees have all gone crazy with blooms and so has the nectarines. It looks like the cold snap we had just gave them something they needed to burst into bloom. I am praying that we end up with a lot of peaches this year. I think we got only three or four last year but that was more from an April frost and an attack of Japanese beetles. We are prepared for them this year. The Beast found the perfect spray to use to keep them off the trees yet not harm the fruit at all. I'm all for that because it means it's a *friendly*, non-polluting spray. He'll be preparing the sprayers in another week or so to be ready for any assault by *the Japs* as he calls them.

I'm sure you've seen the ads for the planters that enable you to grow tomatoes and other plants (the kind you usually have to cage or stake to grow) in an upside down position. I sent for one and ended up with two (buy one, get one free). They came on Wednesday and we got a tomato plant in one of them yesterday. The Beast had bought two and we thought we would plant two-in-one as their brochure recommended for constant availability but we discovered they mean smaller seedlings. What we had wasn't small enough and both already had an incredible root system. So one is in the *Topsy-Turvy* planter as it says on the box and the other is in our Earth box. We are going to put a green pepper plant in the second one as soon as they are available. We use a lot of green peppers here at Beast Haven in most of the favorite dishes we like to eat. Plus I will be using a lot on some of the things I plan to can later this summer. We are also going to give those vacuum bags that Glad is advertising to see how that works for us. The Beast family has been using those to keep peaches used for pies or just eating rather than canning them. I figure I will give it a try but I will also can some if we are blessed with enough this year.

I will report on how the Topsy-Turvy planters do as time goes along.

It's overcast and rainy today but that's a good thing for our area. We have been suffering from a drought here in Alabama and all the rain we have had since the beginning of the year has helped. What's funny is that our grass has been pretty green all winter but, since we have had a lot of rain recently, large sections of the lawn has turned yellow and looks dried out. I can't figure out this grass here. The Beast says he remembers it doing the same thing last year but I was still recuperating from my surgery during that time and didn't pay attention to it. We shall see what happens. It WAS looking nice. Looks awful right now. If the rain continues through the night as the weatherman (and weatherbug) says, I will be outside tomorrow pulling some of the wild onions that are clogging some of the plants along the front of the house. It's so much easier when the ground is soft. After I do that, I can place some of the figurines that we bought (and I painted) for outside in place. I'm looking forward to seeing them and how they actually look. If I like it, I'll have the Beast take a few pictures to send along to my family.

We have to go to Wally World and Lowes to see if we can buy a replacement umbrella for the deck table. During one bad windstorm last year, the one we had got wrecked even though it was down and secured. Sometimes you should just bring the darn things into the garage we've learned.

I got the NOAA radio plugged in and left on finally. I kept having to argue with the Beast that it didn't do us any good unless it was ON....and if something develops unexpectedly, we would be caught totally by surprise (probably as the roof lifted off over us with OUR luck). I've had the roof lifted off over me in bed, thankyouverymuch, and I don't care for the experience AGAIN. This area is more likely to have tornadoes than where we lived in Florida so the radio is a must. It gives off the most awful sounds when a tornado is sighted in the area so you can't sleep through it. I hope we never have one hit us again because these frame homes in Alabama don't seem much more stable than a trailer. Especially since they all seem to have crawlspaces underneath. It's like an invitation to heavy winds making toothpicks out of your home and a tornado is wind incredible! When you see a HUGE roof section from an apartment building just floating in the air like a feather, it boggles the mind. I think I would rather go through a hurricane in an area where homes are made from cement blocks with cement poured down them and on a concrete slab. Nothing underneath to catch the wind and, even if the roof or part of it goes blowing off, you still have walls around you that offer some protection. I'm not sure if there is really any *safe* part of our house in the event of a tornado. I may just run outside and duct tape myself to one of the big oaks or magnolias and hang on. Duct tape is for EVERYTHING!

Well, time to start dindin. Love you all and remember to tell those you love that you DO love them. Say it like it might be the last time because shit happens. It just might be!

I said I would report on Baron's bath to try to get rid of that musky smell that all dogs get. It was NOT fun. He just hates getting into the bathtub and will shake for a while after you do manage to get him into it. He kept trying to get out but I am more determined to get rid of that smell than he will submit to at first. He does eventually settle down and submit but you can tell he isn't fond of having all that water going over his body. I didn't make it too warm but I also didn't want it too cool since it IS still winter and it was cool out. Too cool to let him go outside to shake and dry off, anyway.

After shampooing him and using a creme rinse on him, I dried him off as well as I could before letting him out of the bathroom. He then proceeded to run around like a nut, shaking himself every few feet but he was pretty dry after my toweling him down. That's one nice thing about dobermans, they are very short-haired so it's a simple dry off for them.

He definitely smelled 1000% better. I washed the blanket we keep on the loveseat that we let him lay down on when we are sitting there. Otherwise, he's not allowed up on it. But the blanket smelled as much as he had. I didn't want him picking up the odor when he was clean. He actually haunted the washer and then the dryer until the blanket was ready to be put back. I had a fight on my hands trying to get it back in place since he wanted on the loveseat as soon as an edge of the blanket was on it. When I finally managed to get it on after I made him sit and stay, he jumped up, and laid down on it with a sigh. I sat down to watch some tv and he put his head on my lap and proceeded to go to sleep.

Yesterday we had a wonderfully warm day so he spent a lot of time out in the back yard. The dog next door was out also and the two of them kept trotting back and forth along the common part of the fence and did their doggy communication yips, barks and various other sounds. They both wanted to be out and running all over the place together but it was not to be.

Later on in the afternoon, I took Baron for a leisurely walk around the circle. He wanted out in the yard when we got back to the house so I let him out and watched him running around the yard, tossing a branch in the air and catching it. He would lay down, gnaw on it for a bit then go run after another branch he had dragged back there. He's got one that is almost a sapling that he loves to drag around the yard. He'll drop it every once in a while and bark at it, jump back like it was attempting to bite him and then he'll attack it, shake it around and run with it in his mouth like a trophy. It's that behavior that makes me think he is like a teenage boy. That plus the fact that, after just a short time, maybe an hour at most, he came into the house and he smelled all musky again. Now if THAT isn't like a teenage boy (they get that aroma after any physical activity). I could have just screamed. All that effort for one day of having a dog that didn't stink like, well, like dog. Oh well. C'est la vie!

The Beast called me a little bit ago to tell me he is leaving today to start home. He is, however, going to take a leisurely trip back and stop to spend the night somewhere in Georgia. He wants to stop in TyTy to pick up a couple Mount Morency cherry trees. We need two more to complete the cherry tree triangles we started (we have three planned and two are not complete until we have those). I forget exactly how it works but the three are necessary in order for them to be able to make cherries. They are pollinators for one or the other. We will have Bing, Black and Mount Morency (which is a sour cherry and the one most commonly used for cherry pies).

I took a little walk around our properties to check out how the peach, pear and plum trees were doing and we have a couple of the different peach trees blooming and you can see the pear and plum are getting ready to do so. The apple probably won't bloom for a few more weeks but the buds have started to appear. I think we will have fruit this year. Last year a late freeze and high winds destroyed most of the blooms on the peach trees and the other fruits were still too young and hadn't established themselves well enough. This year is looking good so far. I may be canning fruits this year.

I sent away for something they have been advertising on TV and I'm sure you've seen it. It's a hanging basket (?) for growing tomatoes or other veggies in that is supposed to help them grow bigger and have less waste. I had thought to myself *I wonder if that would really work?* and then the Beast saw it and said, *Let's send for one and give it a try.* So I did. It hasn't arrived yet (and I got 2 for 1 when I ordered it) but I am really anxious to see how it works. We already have a couple shepherd's hooks that we can use for them so we will get them planted and up as soon as the package arrives. I'll let you know how it goes.

Since the Beast is going to be home by tomorrow in the early afternoon, I have to finish cleaning up all the stuff that needs shredding today. It needs to be put out in the garbage today anyway since pickup is tomorrow morning (very early). So, I'm going to get back to it and see if I can't get it all done.

Have a great day everyone. Smile at someone today and start a chain reaction. Love you all.

I went to bed after writing my update this morning. Slept for maybe an hour and woke up with a taste for some hot coffee and something to eat. Came out of the bedroom, walked into the kitchen and, as I was pouring coffee into my mug, glanced out the kitchen window and almost fell over. It was snowing! Not just a light snow but a LOT of snow. It covered the roof of the small barn out back, our deck, the stairs, and the lawn was literally COVERED with the fluffy white stuff. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to open the back door and sit at the table (we have storm doors) to watch it. I have to admit I was entranced.

It's not that I like snow. One of the reasons I didn't object to moving to Alabama was because snow is relatively unknown here. Oh, it's seen on occasion but seldom lasts longer than an hour or so. But I had forgotten how lovely snow can look when it's fresh, white and fluffy while you are indoors all warm and cozy. It snowed for a couple hours and then stopped. That was two hours ago and now it is finally starting to melt. The ground was first and then the rooftops. The table on my deck finally melted and there is only the deck and stairs themselves left to melt off. You can still see where the dog (reluctantly) made paw prints when he finally HAD to *do his business* and went down the slippery stairs. When he was heading back up the stairs, he paused and was sniffing at the snow. It was about an inch-and-a-half deep. He took a deep sniff of it and then sneezed because he got some up his nose. It really was funny to watch. He then started to eat the snow. Small little bites at first then he took big bites as if it were ice cream. He almost cleared a whole stair doing that when he gave a little shudder and then bolted up the rest of the stairs to the door to come in. I think he hit that point we all do when eating something cold. Either his teeth hurt or his tummy was full of the cold water and he got chilled. I don't think they get that sudden hurt between the eyes we experience when eating ice cream too fast but who knows. If he ever learns to talk, perhaps he'll share that with me.

Have you ever had a day when you suddenly notice smells more than usual? Well, today is like that for me. I have several different herbal teas in the cabinet where I keep the coffee, coffee filters, tea bags and creamers. I have cranberry/pomegranate green tea, wild berry tea, spiced chai tea (which smells yummy but I haven't tried yet. The Beast likes it.) and an apple-cinnamon tea. I normally don't notice anything when I go into the cabinet until I open the containers to take one of the various teabags out for a night time cup of tea. Today, when I opened the cabinet to set up the coffee for tomorrow morning, the aroma hit me like a hammer. It was so intense that I felt assaulted by the smells. I could smell oranges, nutmeg, cinnamon and some other spices that I couldn't even name but have tasted in various forms. That's what really amazed me. I could almost identify the spices by the smell when I had only tasted them. I mean, how do you do that? What would you call that? You identify the SMELL by the taste experience.

I have a strange habit. Now, to me, it's not strange but I have seen other people's reactions to it so you might think it strange, too. I can tell more about food by the smell than by tasting it. I mean, I can smell it and know whether or not it's good and if I am going to like it. One woman saw me do that (smell food before putting it in my mouth) and she said to me, "Did you just smell that?" I said, "Yes". She shook her head like I had committed some crime or other. It was MY food, on MY fork. I can't smell it before I eat it? What's with that? Is it a faux pas of some sort or other that I don't know about? I was at a picnic for crying out loud. Sheesh.

If the food smells bad to me or if it smells of something strange, I might ask what spices or meat or veggies are in whatever it is that I was preparing to eat. If it is seasoned with something I haven't tried before, I will go ahead and give it a try. If my taste buds object to it (or my stomach), I will not eat any more than politeness dictates but I will remember the smell of it forever and avoid it in the future. It won't even get a spot on my plate for politeness' sake.

So, when I am having one of *these* days, I make the tour of my home to detect any aromas that are NOT pleasant. It tells me when I need to give a little something extra in an area (if any) and I worry about that *old peoples* smell that you can detect in peoples homes from time-to-time. You know what I mean, I am sure. I do NOT want that smell in MY house, no matter how old the Beast or I get. So I made my rounds and the only place that smells bad to me is Baron's kennel. I sat down next to Baron and realized he desperately needs a bath. I don't think he developed that smell overnight but I hadn't been smelling it before this morning. I hate that old, nasty doggy oil/sweat aroma. So right now his rug is being washed and I have already done the Lysol wipedown of his kennel. I put down some rug freshener designed for pet owners all around the kennel and the areas he uses for resting or chewing on his rawhide bones. I will be vacuuming that up in a half hour or so. THEN I will tackle the bath for Baron. I have some wonderful smelling shampoo and rinse for him. The challenge is going to be getting him INTO the tub. He's usually okay once that occurs but he sure doesn't like water. I will let you know how that comes out. I will probably have to shower myself once I take care of him. I already kicked up the heat a bit because I don't want Baron to get chilled after his bath. It's no problem during the spring or summer because we usually choose a warm day and he will stretch himself out on the warm deck after he's shaken himself off enough to suit him. When the grass is soft and supple, he will roll in it before he stretches out but even the grass smell is better than *doggy* odor.

After I do THOSE chores, I am going to spend a couple hours shredding old records and checks that I have kept for approximately 20 years. I am only keeping what is absolutely necessary and everything else goes. I have been a packrat about that stuff since we started our business and I still have paperwork from our very first house in California. That was 1978. I think I can let those go now, don't you? I will keep the purchase papers and selling papers for shits and giggles. I will do that for all the homes we've owned but, good lord, I can't believe I saved all the damn checks we wrote for over 20 years. It was easier to just pack them away (and then move the boxes from house to house) than to go through them. My one and only new year's resolution this year was that I would go through those and shred them up. That was my promise to myself and I intend to keep that one. I need to be able to find something when I need it without having to go through a ton of paperwork.

Well, time to do the vacuuming. I will let you know how the bath goes.

Love you all.

This update took a bit longer than usual due to the fact that I was deathly ill with the flu or whatever it is that is going around. I actually could NOT get out of bed for almost 48 hours. I had gotten up that first morning but within about 15 minutes was nauseous and vomiting. I barely made it back to bed and crawled under the covers while I fought off waves and waves of nausea and a body that started to ache all over.

It has been my habit since I was very young to go to sleep when I am ill. I once remember coming home from school on a Wednesday and feeling awful. I went to lay down for a while since I always helped my mother make dinner for our large family. That's what oldest kids do, right? Well, I woke up to the sounds and smells of people eating and was hungry (and feeling guilty because I obviously had slept through the preparations and thought I was *in for it*). I got up and was greeted warmly with *well, sleepyhead, we were really worried about you. How are you feeling?* I said *hungry* and everyone laughed and I noticed one of my aunts and her hubby were there. I was very surprised since I hadn't remembered hearing they were coming over. When I sat down to eat, something was said that made me stop and ask what day it was and I was shocked to hear that it was Saturday evening. I couldn't believe I had slept from Wednesday until Saturday. My folks had even had our doctor stop by to check me out when they couldn't wake me up on Wednesday evening. Yes, doctors used to do that back when I was a kid. He told my parents to just *let me sleep it off* since I was sick but not so sick that I required anything other than some water by the bedside. He assured them that it wasn't a bad thing to let me sleep off whatever virus it was that my body was fighting.

I found out that this was something I did automatically when I was very ill. It was never a cold that made me shut down and hibernate but I easily would lose two or three days to awake feeling much better than when I had laid down. This virus was no exception to the rule. The only thing that really pissed me off was the fact that, although the Beast did come in once or twice to see if I was breathing, he never once asked me if there was anything he could do for me or get for me. I would have killed for some ice water at one point. I made it out of bed only once or twice that first day to go to the bathroom and was exhausted and fighting nausea by the time I made it back to bed. Of course, if the Beast had bothered me all the time asking if he could do something for me, I probably would have been just as pissed at him. As it was, I tried to drink some water during one of these *outings* and immediately vomited so I gave that up for a lost cause early on. But it would have been nice if he had even asked.

For two complete days, I only left my bed when absolutely necessary to relieve my bladder. By day three, the bathroom journey was managed easier and I finally felt like I really, really NEEDED some water. When the Beast came in to check on me (by this time he was VERY worried), he breathed a sigh of relief (or regret, who knows?) when I asked him to bring me some water. I slept a little after drinking down a wonderful cold glass of water and then discovered I was hungry so I wobbled out of the bedroom and out into the kitchen to make myself some soup. The Beast and Baron were both gone so I figured he had taken Baron out for either a walk or a run. It was nice having a quiet house to get up to and I sipped my soup (I put it in a mug since my hands were so shaky from hunger I wasn't sure I could manage a spoon) and nibbled on some crackers. I knew I was over the hump. I think it was at this point that my sister *D* called to check up on me since she hadn't seen me on the Internet for three days. One day, not totally unusual since our schedules sometimes just don't mesh but two complete days? She knew I had to be sick. She didn't keep me on the phone but she was reassured that I was alive, if not well. Love ya for that, Sis.

I've been up for about an hour. The Beast woke me up when he was putting his shoes on so I got up to have a cup of coffee with him. He's going to Titusville, Florida to spend a couple days fishing with his cousin. His cousin will be retiring soon and purchased a house there about a year ago. He works in South Florida during the week and comes home on weekends. His wife lives there full-time. The cousin stays with his son-in-law during the week, who has HIS house on the market before HE retires. His wife is living and teaching in Kentucky, along with their daughter, until the great day comes about. The two *roomies* are both retiring at the same time and the son-in-law says, come hell or high water, he'll be going to Kentucky even if the house hasn't sold by then. He's a bit tired of seeing his wife and daughter so little since the school year started. Oh well....as I was saying.... His cousin has a few extra days coming to him that he is taking off. He apparantly bought some kind of fishing boat (one of the fresh water Bass-type boats I think) and invited the Beast down to spend a few days with him and they will do their Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn impressions again. That's kind of a joke to the Beast's family since the two of them used to take off in our boat for the Bahamas for three days or so at a time when the Beast could get away. All this was PRE-strokes, of course, but they lived on that boat for those days. They smelled to high heaven by the time they got home even if they DID swim and occasionally use the hoses at the boat dock to *clean up*. I packed a LOT of food for them and we had a cooler that kept things nice and cold for several days that was more like a storage locker than cooler. But it got the two of them out doing what they loved best and gave their wives (me and Lyn) a few days alone. Ahhhh...those were the days.

I really figured those days were long gone so this was a bit of a surprise to me. He knew I wouldn't want to tag along because, as much as I love Lyn, she and I just have much different interests. Besides, now that we have Baron, we have to think about what to do with him. I had hoped that the Beast would take him with since his cousin informed us that he had a fenced yard but, sigh, no such luck. Baron and I will just have to manage the best we can. I was really hoping for better weather, though, so he could spend more time outdoors and I wouldn't have to dress like an eskimo to take him for a walk. It won't be happening today since we have winter warnings on Weatherbug for today and tomorrow, too, I think. It's only 28 degrees right now and we have snow warnings out until noon today. I don't think it's going to warm up much at all.

My niece, Tara, called me all excited yesterday afternoon. She had been here earlier in the day to fax out more resume's so I was surprised when she called. But she had exciting news. She had interviewed at a pharmaceutical company about two weeks ago. Well, she GOT the job!!!! Good pay, great benefits and she starts on the 25th. It works out perfectly for her since she will be finished with the end of the year accounting for the nursing home she's been working for a few days before then. She said to me, *See? God had a plan all along. Now I have a job HERE and I really belong.* You have to smile at both her faith and her enthusiasm.

What I find so neat about this job is that they told her she has three weeks of paid time the first year. They don't call it *vacation time* or *sick pay* time. They just call it paid time off. She also has some latitude on when she starts and finishes work so she can structure her work week/day as she needs to accommodate her family needs. She is an accountant, in case I didn't mention it before, and she will have two months of mentoring with the man that is retiring from the position she now has. Since it's a major corporation, she is excited about some of the things she will be learning from *the ground floor up* as she puts it. It also allows her to use more of what she learned and was trained to do before working for the nursing home in Ohio. She's been training a gal via the Internet since last summer. The girl is actually just a bookkeeper trying to take over the job of an accountant (and there is a big difference) but she's *family* in a family-owned business so it's THEIR problem (as she says) once her end-of-year reports are completed.

I'm just happy that she is happy and now she doesn't have to worry about the kids getting sick or any of her bills. She was worried about paying off her attorney for her divorce (can they take it back?) and if her car broke down. We can ALL relax now. I hope the job is all she expects and that she is happy with it.

Well, the Beast is well on his way now. I was a bit worried about whether or not he would leave today because his eye started bothering him last night. I don't know if he scratched it or has a stye starting but I didn't take any chances. When he left here, he had the drops for stye and some drops the opthalmologist gave me to protect my eyes while they were healing from cataract surgery. If he scratched his eye, that should protect it.

Me? I'm going to go back to bed and luxuriate for a bit. Baron will be up and antsy in an hour or so. I can stall him off by letting him out of his kennel (he loves to jump up on the bed and curl up next to me) for a bit before I kick his ass out the back door into the cold so he will *do his business*. With weather this cold, he will do it quickly. He's such a wimp.

Have a great weekend. Stay warm. Remember to tell those you love that you do and be happy. Life it too short to walk around miserable. Smile at a stranger for no reason. It will start a *smile chain*, watch and see.

Love you.