If you knew Tara, my niece, you would describe her as an Alpha female who likes to be in control of her life. Her life does, however, center around her children and providing a good, healthy life for them. Hence the banning of cigarette smoke and drinking in her home. Her life has centered around being active at their schools, not just for conferences, but also as a volunteer for activities and events. Her boys were encouraged in any sports they liked and she made sure they were equipped for them and that they were driven to and from any practices taking place. If it meant leaving work early, c'est la vie. She would make up any time lost by coming in early or staying late on a non- practice day. Once she had remarried, her husband was expected to help out whenever possible.

All of this is why she was so hurt when the accusations of her drinking and doing drugs was circulated about her when she left with the children. Her own brother actually believed it, thinking her complete hysteria over what had happened to her 3 year old was actually fueled by an excess of both drinking and drugging.

Others, like myself and a few sisters of mine, didn't believe it just because someone said so. We chose to judge for ourselves (which I did and deemed the accusations just plain trash talk from people afraid of prosecution on some very serious charges). I somehow knew instinctively (knowing my niece is a bit on the hyper side and figuring *I* would have a tough time keeping myself together if faced with the same scenario) that she was just suffering from both guilt and fear. Her brothers attitude, however, led to a breach between them and her changing her plans on just where she would take her family. That is why she settled here, near us but not too close.

Many of us are very angry with her brother rejecting any assistance to his sister because she didn't do the same thing to him when he was down, out and heavily into drugs. She was divorced, on welfare and trying to put herself through colletge and she STILL took him in and helped him clean up his act. He is now a successful businessman with a wife and two children and she is expecting in five months. Although his wife is having a difficult pregnancy, to use this as an excuse to totally reject helping his sister out is unforgiveable in MY estimation. There are many ways to help her out. To be fair to him, at first he DID send her some traveling money but then was fed the stories about her being involved with drugs and alcohol and he swallowed it. I had spoken to him, told him that we also had a few questions but were keeping an open mind until we could see her and talk with her. I told him that I would call him and let him know what we felt.

When I did call him and tell him that he would have to totally rethink his position because she was fine and my husband had been present in the room when the doctor told Tara that her fears were well founded. He begged off the phone at the moment because he *had an employee with him* but said he would call me back for a report when he was free. The call never came. Instead, the coward (who had spread the lie to other family members by this time) sent me an email saying *...because his wife was having a difficult pregnancy, they had no room for Tara or her children in their home.* I hated to have to convey that to Tara but I did and she took it calmly. She said, *fine. Then my decision to stay here is perfect since I really didn't want to live in (blank) because it's too big and crowded but I figured I would have my brother closeby and that made it acceptable. Now I will stay where I feel comfortable with the kids because this area is similar but better than where we came from.

So......we nine lived together here while Tara looked for a rental apartment or house, although she preferred the idea of a house. She had put together enough money to last her for five or six months as long as she watched her spending. My hubby, my sister *C* and I made things like chili mac, spaggetti, potato pancakes (latckes to the people who are purists about what they are called....LOL) and breakfasts were pancakes, cereal, eggs or blintzes. We even went crazy a time or two and got a variety of donuts from WalMart or Crispy Creme or really splurged and got BK breakfast specials.

The boys eventually were displaced from the trailer to the comforts and conveniences of the house and their mother took over the trailer thereby having a smaller, convenient but private area for the two little ones (the youngest child, 8 months old, is her only daughter ). The other three boys were 16, 14 and 13 so they were happy with the satellite tv and our computer games and were relatively easy to have around. They also proved very helpful in trying to clear out some brush at the back of the extra lot we own next to the house where we had set up the travel trailer. The middle boy, K2, was given the job of driving the John Deere with the trash container on the rear to where we were dumping the debris in a ditch at the front of the propery. There WAS a method to our madness after all. We really wanted to get that filled and this was an easy way to accomplish two goals in one throw.

Due to the relative small size of my refridgerator versus the amount of people we were feeding, our trek to the grocery store was an almost daily event. We went through two gallons of milk and two loaves of bread on an almost daily basis. We emptied a large jar of peanut butter each week (they lived here a total of 14 days and I threw away an empty large jar the day they moved, the second such that had bit the dust.) What was weird was that no one seemed to be eating peanut butter sandwiches on a daily basis so how had so much gotten used? It's a mystery!

The daily routine was getting everyone fed and then cleaning up and planning the next meal, checking to see if we had all the ingredients necessary, shopping if we didn't and then starting the whole process over. Once lunch was done, we turned our attention to dinner. Once we realized that this was going to be going on for longer than we thought it might, we would actually make dinner for two days at the same time but different entrees. It was a very, very busy time. After dinner, we relaxed a bit before starting the night time bed preparation process. My air mattress has a small leak in it so I would have to take the pump and get it filled up before it could be slept on. It was only slightly better than sleeping on the floor since that is where you would end up in the morning, it was THAT flat Tara would be herding her kids, one-by-one, into the bathtub or shower and going through the clothes to make sure they had clean underwear plus pull out their clothes for the next day. As soon as she could, she would take the two youngest ones and head out to the relative peace of the travel trailer where she could get *K5* to sleep and then relax and enjoy a DVD or get on her laptop (which piggybacked our network here in the house) and actually get some work done.

Her job up north was still active since she was training the girl that had taken over her position via the Internet and telephone. Thankfully we also own a fax machine from our old business we had sold to our employees (we had it at our home for the convenience of customers) so there was lots of activity each morning while she worked. Her day started at 6am when she fed the baby, then put her back down for a couple hours nap and the 3 year old, *K4*, was still asleep. She used that time to answer emails, check figures or other material for the gal she is training and then the active training session would start. She stopped long enough to take the two little ones to day care nearby then would return and work uninterrupted for another four to five hours before she wrapped it up for the day. She would then come into the house, look through the newspapers or, on rare occasions, just relax before she had to pick up the two little ones.

She would every two or three days, take all the kids down to the lake to swim and just enjoy the good weather. She would pack a picnic lunch and off she would go to give the three of us left at the house a little rest for a couple of hours. We old people are not used to the hectic schedule that kids force on you....at least, not any more we aren't !

The first weekend they were here with us, we packed up enough food for a small army plus water and drinks and went to a spot we love on the lake. It was a glorious day and just perfect for a relaxing picnic. We even stopped and bought a watermelon that we dropped into the ice chest after we had eaten lunch and let get cold. It was one of the last items we ate before we finally and reluctantly returned home. Even though it had been a nice relaxing day, we were all tired from the fresh air and went to bed relatively early. We all enjoyed ourselves and no one got too much sun either. Glorious and memorable.

Tara did eventually find a house to rent. Best of all it is just a few blocks from a wonderful picnic and playground area on the lake and just three blocks from the middle school she wanted for the boys (*K2 and K3*). She couldnt move in until the first of the month when the other renters would be totally moved out (they were taking their time since they worked during the week) but she had at least seen the inside and felt it was perfect. I had been a little worried that a landlord might not want anyone with five kids renting but was relieved that this one didn't seem fazed by the fact at all.

The next few days are ones filled with the quest for a fridge and washer/dryer and dealing with Family Services. But that will be tomorrows entry and I will bring you totally up to date before I bid adieu for 10 days or so while we trek to Florida to empty the Gulf House, drop the price and see our great-granddaughter for a few days.

May you have a great day and wonderful evening. Live life, enjoy and love like there's no tomorrow. Hold tight to your loved ones and be there for them when they need you.

I always wondered how the phrase *May you live an interesting life* could be a curse to the Chinese. I think I understand it now. I've neglected this site because our normally placid life suddenly got interesting. Let me explain.

One of my nieces left her husband. Now she has five (yes, 1-2-3-4-5) children so this decision could not have been done lightly. Her mother called me and told me the reason and I totally agreed with her reasoning. I and any other mother who loved their children would have done the same. In fact, I was horrified when I heard just WHY she felt she had to leave to protect her kids. I told my hubby about it after I got off the phone with my sister and he had me call my niece and tell her that she and her kids could stop off here on her way to what was her original destination and rest since she was located in a northern state. Good intentions, right?

My sister flew up to help her drive to her final destination. My niece, whom I will call *Tara*, was going to drive the rented truck with what personal and furniture items she could gather and my sister *C* was going to drive the van with four of the five kids in it. The fifth child, whom she barely could detach from her leg, would ride with Tara.

Now let me explain that my niece, upon discovering the problem, had immediately left her hubby and gotten shelter at a state provided location until my sister got up there. She then picked up the truck and returned to her house to get what clothing, furniture, personal papers, etc. that she could. She would then boogey out of the state to a place she felt safe.

It was a fiasco, I gather. Her MIL (mother-in-law) called the cops and accused Tara of being a drunk and on drugs. She tried to attack Tara and was stopped by the cops. If she had reached Tara, I think my sister might have torn the woman a new a**hole since she is ferocious in protecting HER kids (like a mother bear). Anyway, Tara ended up leaving with less than she intended but she was badly shaken by all the commotion. She did NOT want to let the cops know exactly WHY she was taking her kids away because she was afraid she would be forced to stay in the state and prosecute and that meant her kids would be vulnerable.

If you have ever lived in a small town or community, you might understand why she didn't feel she could protect her children. Her husbands family had lived in the area for a couple generations and his parents were active both socially and politically. She was a *newcomer* since she had lived there only about 18 years. When the family began it's campaign to muddy her name with accusations of drinking and drugging, she knew she couldn't win. Tara was a bartender at one time when she was putting herself through college (this was after three boys and a divorce). She was known to party hardy from time-to-time but had changed all that several years ago after getting her degree and her CPA license. She allowed NO drinking, NO smoking and NO drugs in her home or her life. Anyone that knew Tara well knew this was a strict law to her. My sister (her mother) smoked outside and couldn't even have wine when visiting. So the accusations really devestated Tara and just added to the hurt she felt and the guilt.

Soooooooooooooooo......my niece, sister and five kids show up, finally, at our house. We had set up the travel trailer (hooked up electric and water) figuring the three older boys might like to sleep out there by themselves and away from all the old farts (Ha! Ha!) and Tara, *C* and the two little ones could sleep here in the main house. Duh! Who would have guessed what would happen?

Tara was in dire need of some R&R by the time they arrived. The Beast took her and the two little ones on a kind of tour of the area to show her why we liked it so much. She was enchanted because it was very much like the area they had come from only a bit larger population. You know what I mean, a small town feel but not really a small town? She just loved the new middle school (one year old) in the town just north of us and she came back to the house and made the decision that this was as far as she was going to go. She and the kids would look for a place to live in the next town and settle here.

Another thing that had to be done while she was here was take her 3 year old in to be examined by a doctor. I had consulted MY doctor about what to do since my niece (we thought) was just passing through but she needed some documentation, if indeed, what she suspected from the hysteria of her 3 year old was true. He gave me his advice and we followed it.

Now, let me explain since I am sure that you might have guessed what it was that had Tara grab her kids and run to protect them. If you have a 3 year old child you are aware of the kinds of things they will talk about and even the kind of things they are capable of making up. There are just certain things that they do not and would not know how to act out unless they had actually happened to them. That is what was going on here. We were all both astonished and horrified since none of us would have suspected it. In fact, my husband and I were willing to take it at surface value and judge for ourselves when Tara and the kids arrived. I play a good *Devil's Advocate* and can ask the questions that others might be thinking but are reluctant to voice.

When I said to Tara, *What will you do if the doctor says there are NO indications this has happened*? She said that she would turn around, go back home and tell her doctor to medicate her since she had obviously lost her mind. We laughed at that but were glad to know that she HAD thought about it. Although she was horrified at what her 3 year old had told her (in hysterics, by-the-way), she was running on instincts more than facts AND, if true, she was guilt-ridden over the fact.

To make a long story short, the doctor verified that there was evidence that it HAD happened and his responses (physical) were NOT normal for a 3 year old. She came back to the house feeling much calmer and justified finally in the decision she had made.

There is much, much more to this even than I have put down here but I will break it up over the next two days. I will then be gone (again...sigh) for about 10 days while we return to Florida to take care of some things we must (and I will get to actually see and hold my great-granddaughter for the first time ) I will not, however, go without finishing this tale.

In the meantime, the hummingbirds are back and feeding again and the garden is almost depleted with having nine people here. I hope you have a wonderful evening and a great day tomorrow. I shall return!