April 1, 2012

• The Happy Birthday Wishes That Will Never Be Seen…..

  TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

  I’ve spoken about the *Golden Child* that was lost to us all by her drug use.  She rejected every offer of help and her siblings tried even after I was finally convinced to stop *enabling* her.  She was my firstborn.  She was beautiful and naturally photogenic.  She was talented.  She was also a talented liar and a thief.  I tried and tried to believe her stories and I bailed her out of bad situations.  We even went to get her admitted to a drug program that didn’t require her *wanting* it….for juveniles.  We would have mortgaged our life to save her but she would run to the drugs and disappear into that culture to the point that even some police friends of ours told us to give it up.  They said, *You have three other children that need your attention.*   One police friend gave me a copy of the book, *Tough Love* and I read it.  I knew it was right.  But it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.  It still hurts my heart.
  

  This golden child had a child herself.  A lovely, smart and beautiful daughter.  Most of her life, she lived with us and I was happy to have her and protect her.  We finally got custody of her and later on, with our other childrens blessing, we adopted her.  That is the Princess.  Her daughter had been a joy in our life, mainly because we have had so much time to spend with her since we live close.

  But, today, April 1st, is the Golden Child’s birthday.  It never comes by that I don’t think of her and still cry about all she has lost.  Her daughter will never have anything to do with her although she did try to insinuate herself in the Princess’s life several years back (when the Princess was pregnant).  The Princess told her then that she would never, ever see her child or have any part in her life.  Her mother was still into drugs and all that implies in order to feed her habit.  I have to remind myself of that when I go through our older albums and see the pictures. 

  She has missed out on many things.  My son, Marcus Aurelius (Maurelius, for short) posted this today: http://maurelius.xanga.com/760791629/happy-birthday/  and I know that my son, Mustachio and my daughter, Buttmunch, feel the same way.  Occasionally, she and I will speak of her and cry together.  Your life may go on but there remains a hole in your heart forever.  But, I still hope she has some joy in her life and wish WE meant as much to her as she does to us even after all this time.

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  It was cute last night that, when I went to check on Chewlee before I went to my own bed, I found her uncovered.  I covered her up and kissed her forehead.  As I got up, she opened her eyes and said, *You smell like lemonade, Grandma*.  She’s not fond of lemonade, as you might suspect.  Then she told me she wanted me to sleep with her.  I told her I had to sleep in my own bed but….if she wanted to, she could always come and sleep with me.

  It wasn’t more than 5 minutes after I got comfy that I felt her little hand tap my shoulder.  I lifted up the blanket and put her between me and the Beast.  She cuddled up next to me and put my arm across her middle then her arm was on my arm.  She fell back to sleep quickly.

  The Beast was a bit noisy getting ready for his trip to Birmingham for the last day of the special Bible study weekend and I was afraid he would wake her but she never batted an eye.  After the Beast left, at some point, Baron climbed on the bed on the other side of Chewlee.  I only noticed when he heard the Princess pull up in the driveway (I hadn’t heard a thing) and he jumped off the bed, barking.  Chewlee was still asleep and her mother just scooped her up and left for home.  She told me she hadn’t been  to sleep yet because, in chatting with a classmate on Saturday night, they asked her if she had finished up the special project due this week.  That was a surprise to her and she stayed up all night getting that done.  I hope she got SOME sleep today.  I know how wearing Chewlee could be since she is so active if she decided to be annoying her mother when she was trying to rest.  I hope Johnnycakes didn’t have to work today to help out.

  It was very warm today.  In the 80′s.  Even with the fan on, I was sweating at the nape of my neck.  I love the warmth but there wasn’t really enough air movement in the house.  Not unless you sat right underneath one of the overhead fans.  I suppose I should have made the fan in my room blow inward instead of out.  I’ll do that tomorrow.

  Love you all.  Hope you had a good weekend and an even better week.  Drive carefully and be health conscious, ya hear? 
  

  • 11:22 pm
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