September 2, 2011
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On Having Children
TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM
I was giving it some deep thought today and thinking about my kids and grandkids. What I decided was that, if you are going to have kids, you should not have them unless you are close to family members. Family is more than a support group for YOU, they are also a loving support for your children. And kids need that as much as you do.
My kids were, for the most part, both born and raised far from family that would have loved them and been there for me, too. I was big enough to take myself to family when the need arose. I won’t go into that here. I usually took my boys, who were youngest, with me. But our lives were not comfortable or without turmoil due to the Beast at the time. They could have used having family around to go to when life got tumultuous.
I’m glad we got the Princess up here by us so she had us to help out with Chewlee, whom we love to death. She loves too and that makes me happier than I can tell you. She loves coming to Grandma’s house. She told me yesterday that the Beast was her *big Grampa* . The Beast isn’t big in build so I have no idea where that came from but she has her *bald-headed grampa* (and she told me she doesn’t call him that when she talks to him) and her *big grampa*. She makes me laugh at how she perceives that calling him her *bald-headed grampa* would hurt his feelings. Besides, he’s only bald on top. And, like a lot of men with that problem, he’s let the rest grow long and he ties it in a pony tail. At least he did the last time I saw him. He may have cut it since he’s been in 100+ temperatures over in Afghanistan but who knows.
I think how different it would be for her and how different a child she would probably be without being around FAMILY that loves her. Family is different from friends and acquaintances. No matter how many hugs you might get from a close friend of your mother’s, it’s not like the hugs and kisses you get from FAMILY. Family is forever. Good, bad or indifferent, there’s always family members that kids can feel close to. I had an aunt that I was close to and I could talk to her honestly about anything. She didn’t judge but she gave advice that I listened to. I didn’t always follow it but I listened and knew she cared.
I feel like I denied that to my kids. The Beast had family that lived near us when they were little but they weren’t a warm, close family like mine. We were all huggers and kissers. We still are. My nieces and nephews that were raised around family had fewer problems than my kids. It would have helped to have had someone other than me to fight for the kids when the Beast was at his worst. It was lonely for my kids when all they had were their friends. They didn’t have family they could have sheltered with and felt safe. Kids need that. To feel safe with family. Not just because of turmoil but just to know that they are with people that really care about them.
So, if you are thinking about having kids, think carefully. Be close to family. Love you all.
Comments (4)
He does not, and never has, have a pony tail lol. It’s very short. But I am glad you grandpa and Michelle are close. Love you
I have a picture of him with a pony tail when Chewlee was born. So there…:p
And we have helped YOU out a lot, too, don’t forget. We love you. It’s why we did what we did for you all these years.
You’re right. He never told me a damn thing or it would have been in my blog. I remember how I cried at Steve’s graduation from boot camp and it wasn’t nearly as tough as what my darling grandson has been through. It’s still an honor and I am so proud! I am happy you all got to share it with him. Love to you all.