August 2, 2012

• TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

  The Beast spent the day at the rehab hospital with AM.  He said after watching her, talking to the PT people and to her, too, he doesn’t think she will ever walk again.  Between the seriousness of the broken bones, her weight (she has the biggest ass and thighs I have ever seen on someone as active as she was) and her Parkinson’s, no one seems to feel she is physically capable of healing to the point she will be able to take care of herself.  She’s 93 and the Beast said she looks every bit of that and more now.  She has just aged tremendously in a short period of time since he last went to visit her.

  She wants to come home and he says he doesn’t blame her but it took a special electric swing machine to get her in and out of bed.  His cousin will not be able to handle her.  She’s not that strong.  I suggested that his cousin should explore the options open to her…a couple of aides, purchasing the swing thing or something similar.  She wants to buy a new car that’s easier for her to take her mother to the doctors but she might actually need a special van for wheelchair patients.  Or a van with a ramp and then something to clamp the wheelchair in place.  He said he would talk to her about it tonight (Wednesday night) when she got home from HER stint at the rehab center.  It’s not going to be an easy road.  He seriously believes that she won’t last six more months.  She wants to be at home when she dies.  He thinks she’s really tired of being in pain all the time and doesn’t want to live like she has to now.  She has always been an active woman.  This is a monstrous setback for her.  We shall just have to wait and see what happens now.
  

  Today is my 48th anniversary.  Ha! Ha! Ha!  If not for the fact that I am a true believer that marriage is (supposed to be) forever, I probably wouldn’t be married to the Beast now.  He has not been a good husband most of the time.  I was totally surprised at how good he has been since I started having all this surgery.  He took over the house cleaning, the cooking and the washing.  I was able, regardless of where I was in the healing process, to fold clothes at least and help out that way.  It would have been a much better marriage if he had ever pitched in while our kids were young but he expected me to work a full-time job AND take care of everything else.  For many years, we even paid people to take care of the lawn, bushes, trees, etc. so he didn’t even do that much.  All he did was work and drink and beat me up whenever something had him frustrated.  The kids would run out of the house and disappear when he came home because, otherwise, they would be a target too. 
  

  I even threw him in jail several times.  Hell, he broke multiple ribs, cracked facial bones and even broke my nose once.  I have to tell you that I was mad at God A LOT!  Marriage forever?  That was not reasonable once we were living longer lives. 
  

  He is no longer physically abusive but there are still ways he’s not very Christian.  He is selfish and self-centered.  He begrudges me almost everything.  I brace for an argument when I even buy myself some new clothes.  BUT…I shop for bargains.  He buys top quality.  I kid you not.  He has a sport jacket he ONLY paid $160. for and IT WAS MARKED DOWN!  I was supposed to cheer over how great that was.  Shit!  I owned only one item in my whole life that cost close to that amount.  It was gorgeous and the Beast actually loved my owning it but he was in a *make up* mode at the time after a serious injury to me.  He was afraid I would testify against him when the state’s attorney wanted to prosecute him for it.  He still had to serve a six month probation and go to anger management classes.  Not that he learned a damn thing.  Useless waste of time and money.
  

  Like most marriages, even bad ones, there have been good times scattered in there, too.  I’ve owned some beautiful homes and enjoyed them immensely.  We had some good friends (and still do) and good times with them.  We enjoyed some great vacations and had fun.  We owned boats and traveled to Bimini in them.  We now own a pontoon boat because, since the Beast had his two strokes, our ocean going days are over.   So are the days when he thought *I* couldn’t take him.   
  

  But he called me from his aunt’s today to wish me a Happy Anniversary and give me a promise to take me out for a drink or two on Friday when he comes home.  He doesn’t know it yet but he’s not going to get away that cheap.  He’s going to take me out for a lobster dinner even if it can’t be on Friday (I’ll have Chewlee here).  I’ve wanted lobster for a while and haven’t had any in a few years. 
  

  I still am in shock that it’s been that long.  Time flies.  Sad but true.  But it is only because I believed (old school) that marriage was supposed to be forever.  Plus I kept thinking….he can change.  He WILL change.  All I have to do is……  More fool me.  I tell all young girls *Don’t think you can change him.  If you see things you don’t like before you get married, get away from him.  He will NOT change.  Trust me on that.  Been there, thought that.*
  

  Time to get to bed and get some decent sleep.  Love you all. 
  

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