March 22, 2012
-
It’s Just Weird…..
TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM
It’s only two days but I truly miss chatting online with Bratfink. It’s how we keep in touch with different things taking place around us all the time. We sometimes don’t say a word for an hour or more because we are reading news or our email but we know we are there. She will often comment on news or send me a link in the chat space for something interesting in one way or another. I tell her things that I don’t put in my blog because it seems like old news by the time I write it.
She will tell me weird things that the cats or the dog are doing or have done that day (or while we are *chatting*). She also will tell me things that the Boy is doing or has done. They are little things but it makes ME feel like we are really visiting each other. Now I know she isn’t able to be on the computer because of her arm. Even putting the keyboard in her lap wouldn’t help with her right arm immobilized and her thumb in a cast. I miss her so much that it seems weird to me. I find myself on the computer less just because of that fact. It almost seems dumb to keep my Yahoo messenger up because others that I talk to (like my son, Mustachio) don’t get online and on Yahoo all that often.
I used to chat a lot just a few years ago when we were playing bingo on other sites, for example. Now I just don’t say much when I am playing the games on Pogo. I just haven’t played with people that are all that interesting. Know what I mean? I would love it if I could talk to my kids daily but my son, Marcus Aurelius, doesn’t use Yahoo messenger. I don’t know if he even uses any of the messenger sites available. I would love to be able to talk to them on a daily basis. Is it just that I am weird or that I am getting old and need that kind of contact more?
I was thinking about the Beast and his prostate cancer. It’s scary because we have to wait so long to find out about how bad it is and what choices we have to make for him. I think about the fact that all the cancerous tumors he has had have been virulent ones. While we are waiting, who knows how much more damage his body is experiencing? That is the truly scary part. I know the Beast and he hates not being able to control what effects he will end up having to live with….or die. If he ends up being as helpless as he was after his strokes, he could become suicidal. I remember how bad it was back then…at first. But he knew that he COULD overcome the problems with tenacity. And he is as bull-headed as anyone you might meet. Maybe more so than anyone you WILL ever meet.
He’s lived with daily pain without the help of pain-killers. Although he is able to do most anything he wants, he pays a price for it. His left side has never fully recovered and he has a tendency to drag that leg to this day. It constantly tells him that he has a type of brain damage that destroyed parts of his control that will never be recovered. Even the thought of that bothers him. But the alternative was unacceptable to him. It’s part of the reason that he MUST keep busy and do things he probably shouldn’t. He’s got something to prove…mostly to himself.
I believe that he has now turned to God because he’s seeing that there is going to be a day when he will possibly be facing his maker and have to answer for his sins. He told me more than once that he doesn’t really believe that there is anything that goes on after you die. You just die and that is all there is. Now he seems to be trying to do things that God will approve of to redeem himself and embrace the idea of an afterlife.
I have always had a strong belief in God. It’s organized religion that I have no respect for and my reasons are myriad. I despise the ones that try to isolate you from family and friends unless they are also *believers*. I also hate the ones that are always saying you must give money…give, give, give and God will bless you for it. You know what I mean. Somehow, I don’t think God needs any money. Support the financial needs of whatever religion you profess but you don’t have to make them rich. That is UN-godly as far as *I* am concerned. It almost makes me sick to my stomach.
I also despise the ones that profess to be *Christians* but they look down their noses at people in dire circumstances. Or the uneducated. Or ones that seem *weird*. I don’t like their gossiping and spreading rumors that can really HURT someone. Especially when there is no evidence that it’s even true. And, OMG, feeling so self-righteous about themselves even as they spread those rumors around. It gives me a headache to think that they don’t feel like they are doing wrong, even if they find out those rumors aren’t true. They will shrug and say, *Oh well. It’s what I HEARD and I had no reason not to believe it.* Heck, you had the choice of taking the news with a grain of salt and KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT, JERK! That would have been the real Christian thing to do. Feel a bit of pity, sure. But so much of that kind of thing is just because of some kind of envy. Either to get to be the center of attention by seeming *in the know*. That’s usually because they envy someone who doesn’t have to be spreading rumors to be the center of attention. Maybe because they have a talent that is envied. I could go on and on. Before you spread a rumor you’ve heard or talk about something you *suspect*, stop and think. Then ask yourself, *Would Christ say or do this?* If you can’t imagine HIM doing it, why should/would you?
Ack. Sorry but I guess getting old makes you more introspective about many things. On a high note, I called our ex-sister-in-law, Kay, to bring her up-to-speed on what’s going on with Bratfink and it was really nice to talk to her. I haven’t talked to her in almost a year. She really wants me to come and stay with her and the new hubby (he’s a doll) and to get as much of the family to come to her house one day while I am there. Chewlee talked to her for a bit and she (Kay) got a kick out of her. Now Chewlee wants to go with me to Aunt Kay’s so she can swim….if she wants to because sometimes she likes to go in the water and sometimes she doesn’t. I told Kay that, once Chewlee gets in the water (if it’s not real cold), we wouldn’t be able to keep her out. I would like to teach her how to swim while we are there. That would shock (and please) the Princess who was a *water baby* herself. She learned to swim early because we always had a pool at our homes except for the house in Port Charlotte. We had the room for it and the house was designed with the idea of putting one in but the Beast balked at the last and decided he wanted fruit trees instead. That was the mini-Brat farm but, boy, did we have some fantastic fruit from those trees. I miss that.
This one, if we ever solve the fungus problem, will be heavenly with the trees we have. But, until then, it’s just sad. We got one great crop before this fungus problem started and we’ve been fighting it ever since. Keep your fingers crossed although the Beast says he’s seeing green mold on some of the tree trunks in one area of the property. I told him go bring some samples of things to the state Agricultural people and find out what we can do to help solve the problem. Even if we have to pay for the service, it would be worth it. We’ll see what happens.
Time to get this blog posted. Love you all. Sorry I sounded off about such weird thoughts but it goes round and round in my head at times. Have a great day. You deserve it.
