April 8, 2010

• Turkey Hunting And Nature Starts Pollenating Everywhere!

  
  TALES FROM THE BRAT FARM

  Last night I ended up watching a DVD the Beast bought for himself even though I really had no interest in it at all.  It’s title?  *Turkey Hunting*.    Three hours of video of turkey shoots in the South.  All of them instructional, very different terrains and actually it WAS interesting.  Oh, not worth three hours worth of my time but I learned several things.

  First of all, turkeys can really FLY.  They roost at night high up in the taller branches of trees.  They are so camouflaged that you almost miss them.  I would NEVER have thought to look up, especially that high up, when searching for where turkeys were sleeping.  For some reason, I thought they were a bit like chickens.  Not able to fly very high or for very long.  More like *coasters* than flyers.

  Another thing I noticed is the males definitely did not look the least bit scrawny.  I once saw a turkey in the wild, a female, and she looked so scrawny that I couldn’t see why anyone would prefer a wild turkey to the well-fed ones in the freezer section at your grocers.  I mean, it’s all well and fine that you can say you shot/caught it…whatever…but can it feed a family?  I now know that the one I saw was NOT typical.  The males seem to be very meaty indeed.  *Grin*  I wonder what a really fresh turkey might actually taste like?  Hmmmm. 

  I told you the Beast is trying to locate some of these reserves but having little luck.  Well, he dedicated himself today to trying to find out where they are located.  He just wants to be able to go and scope them out.  He started by googling Alabama Wildlife Management.  Talk about making a nightmare out of something that should be simple.  It became a round robin.  If he gets a permit, they give him the information about where these places are located and how to get to them.  How do you get the permit?  Oh, they aren’t issuing the permits for the October Deer Hunting Season yet.  Ya think?  Where does he have to go to apply for the permit.  Oh, I can send you that information via (snail) mail.  Please do that.  Now, if I leave my house with the idea that I want to go visit one or more of these reserves, just how would I go about doing that?  I can’t tell you that because you can’t get on them without a permit and you get that information once the permit is issued.

  The Beast told one gal, *It’s a good thing I started this in March because it looks like it might take me until October to find out where the hell I have to go to shoot a damn deer!*  To say he was a bit frustrated was a little short of the mark.    He did, finally, get ahold of a gal that seemed to have a bit more on the ball.  She told him about this one area about an hour and a half north of us (called Skyline) that he could go and check out.  She said she really recommended it due to it being a beautiful area AND it was a very productive area for wildlife.  So, of course, either Thursday or Friday, he and Baron will be taking that ride.  She also told him that he should be careful since it IS turkey season and there are bound to be hunters in the area.  Although, she added, they usually only shoot during the early morning hours.

  So, of course, Mr. Plunge Right Ahead Before You Are Ready went out and bought some turkey callers or whateverthehell they are called.  *Sigh*  He’s so predictable even though he swore he had no intention of doing any turkey shooting this year.  Ahhh, the best laid plans……  We shall see.

  Johnnycakes and his father are meeting up with male relatives in southern Alabama this Saturday to go turkey hunting.  The DVD showed that there are as many different ways to hunt for them as there are terrains.  I was also surprised at the turkey *callers*.   Some hunters walk through the woods and call the turkeys and wait to hear an answer.  When they hear one, they immediately set up their decoys, hide and get themselves set up and then they wait.  They continue to *call* to draw the turkeys towards them.  Sometimes it’s just two or three but one scenario we watched, it looked like a whole flock came and one of the tom’s rushed a decoy and tried to molest it!    It was funny as hell.

  I think the thing that surprised me was if the hunter (who is really, really camouflaged) moves, it spooks the turkeys immediately.  But, if a turkey is shot, the other birds will run off a short distance then return and peck at the downed bird so that you can actually shoot another one!    I know!!  Weird, huh?

  Enough of that.  We woke up this morning to the annual dumping of the pollen.  It’s EVERYWHERE.  There’s a thick layer of yellow pollen on my deck and, believe it or not, all over my house.  The kitchen table had a layer on it and it extended all the way over to the coffee and end tables in the living room area as well as the fireplace mantel.  I know I am going to have to dust mop a couple times to get what blew in with the fans and just from the breeze coming in through the screens.  We will have about a week or so of this before it’s over and you forget what a pain in the ass it is.  *Sigh*  But it’s nature’s way of ensuring the trees and plants will reproduce themselves.  You just have to grin and bear it.

  So there I am at *o-god-thirty* in the morning, cleaning the table, the coffee and end tables, the fireplace mantel and base, the countertops in the kitchen and I happen to notice that there is a thin layer of it on the Beast’s recliner.  I even saw the screen on the TV as well as the stand it’s on had a layer on them.  I’m going to have to get out the vacuum and clean the upholstery even.  *Sigh* 

  I checked in my computer room and, surprise!  Only a small area at the rear of my desk got any pollen on it.  I was totally amazed.  Of course, the window sill is another story but I can just use the vacuum hose and suck all that stuff right up.    This room has enough *stuff* in it that I could use a break now and then.

  Luckily, we had our bedroom door closed so there was no breeze coming through there.  I won’t avoid it, since it is going to last for days,  but at least today I don’t have to deal with that room, too.

  We had a small thing happen on Easter that I never mentioned.  I did tell you that I bought us some nice big, oval Chinet plates to use for our dinner so it cut down on the dishes that needed to be washed.  What I didn’t tell you was the plates left marks on my dining room table finish.    I couldn’t believe it.  I have no clue what the hell kind of finish was on the wood but, once we got the paper plate residue off it, the finish on the table was gone! 

  So the Beast went and got a gloss finish of some sort and had to refinish the top.  He did have to put two coats on and did the fine steel wool between coats to get any small bubbles out.  The bad thing is now he has to do the two leafs for it, also.    The Beast says nothing he does is ever easy.  Too true.  He looked at the chairs today and said, *Now the finish on them looks dull.  I probably should have gotten a semi-gloss.*  He then perked up a bit and added, *…but at least the glossy finish is a harder one.*  Ya think???  I’m waiting on him deciding he’s going to *have to* put a coat or two of the glossy finish on the chairs now.  I’ll strangle him, I swear!

  Time to call it a day and end this journal.  Love you all.  Have a wonderful day and be sure to expose your teeth to the sun.  It’s good for them and the people you meet. 

  • 12:02 am
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