December 25, 2008

• I Am Tempted to Kick The Beast To Pieces…

  Let me tell you what he did to me. First of all, my son and Buttmunch arrived here bright and early..before 8am even. Baron alerted us to their arrival with his ear-piercing barking so the Beast and I jumped up, jumped into our jeans and met them coming in the front door. Hugs, kisses and other greetings followed. The commotion woke up Chewlee and then her mother, the Princess. The Princess needed to get up anyway but she dragged her feet getting ready for work since she wanted to visit for a bit…it had been a few years since she last saw either of them.

  After that, we all ended up laying down (including Chewlee) to catch a few more winks. My two kids were so excited to be coming for this family Christmas, they literally couldn’t sleep the night before so they left early. A few hours later, Buttmunch, who was sleeping on the Princess’s bed in with the baby, was awoken to the sound of the baby dragging her bottle back-and-forth along the bars on her crib like some prisoner in a jail. As soon as Buttmunch opened her eyes, Chewlee jumped up with a smile yelling, *Hi! Hi!* She was obviously ready to get out of her crib and join the living. Buttmunch got up, took her out of the crib and changed a nasty diaper (The Princess announced to her when she heard that it was *her Christmas present*). Everyone let me sleep for a bit longer since I was up late the night before.

  The two kids went to the store (yes, they braved the crowds..and it WAS crowded). They picked up some milk, bread and a few other items and returned home shortly after Chewlee came in to wake me up since *Papa…aka the Beast* was REALLY watching her….NOT!!! I was upset because I had to go to Walmart anyway to get some things the Beast wasn’t aware of so I got ready and figured Buttmunch and I could run up there once Chewlee took her nap. She was really funny because it was the second time she grabbed her bottle and opened the bedroom door, saying *Night, night*. I grabbed her blankey and obliged her where she settled down peacefully and went to sleep.

  The Beast and our son decided they were going to go ahead and swap the old modem with the new and get it activated while we were gone. They were actually on the phone with Hughesnet when we left.

  I did my shopping at Walmart, stopped at ABC Liquors to pick up some pina colada for my daughter-in-law’s enjoyment, then ran down to Big Lots to pick up some gift bags. That done, we came home. Now, mind you, we did NOT rush. It would have been impossible anyway with all the last minute shoppers at Walmart AND at Big Lots. By the time we returned home, approximately two hours had passed. The Beast and my son were STILL on the phone with Hughesnet trying to get our modem activated. I kid you not.

  The original tech (obviously following step-by-step instructions given to him there in India) finally gave in and kicked the call back to his *superior* (which was obviously back here in the States) and within two minutes of that, we were up and ready. The second tech knew what the hell he was doing. My son is a tech and not ignorant but he does NOT set up satellite systems. He was, however, deeper into the workings of my computer than I would ever have been since they were actually into my BIOS system. Oh well, at least we were up and ready to go.

  After all this activity even before we DID anything to get ready for Christmas Day, the hubby decides he is going to make his computer Crossfire capable. Gamers will know what that is. He had all he needed for that, it was just a matter of setting up the jumpers. So, Buttmunch and I are doing some last minute light stringing on the rear deck and then on the front porch. We also hung some more of that tinsel-y garland around the interior of the house.

  The baby was here, adding fun and *flavor* to our day while all this was going on. I kept having to find ways to keep her entertained and some of this came down to feeding her some *junk foods, baby style*. Well, they aren’t supposedly junk food being Graduate snacks but not what I feel is good for her to eat a lot of before eating a regular meal. It’s one of those, don’t fill up on…whatever…things we mothers feel.

  So, the Beast is working on his Crossfire with my son helping out so they can test a game I bought for him, Buttmunch and I are finally able to rest a bit and keep trading the baby back-and-forth waiting for her mother to get off work. I check my email and am talking on an IM when the Beast shows up at my door asking about food. It then occurs to me that I hadn’t even given food TODAY a thought. He suggests a pizza but this is the South, folks. It’s Christmas Eve. Most restaurants closed at 3 today. Walmart is closing at 6 and he thinks we are going to find a pizza place open? Laughing my ass off at this point. So I tell my IM’s that I will be back in a bit and head out to the kitchen. My son is checking out the fridge and when I ask him what he’s looking for, he says, I don’t know…just thinking about what I could make for us to eat. He then spies some bacon in my meat drawer and the couple dozen eggs I have and says *Ah hah! Let’s makes some bacon and eggs.* It actually sounded like a good idea to me so we started getting ready to make bacon, scrambled eggs and some english muffins.

  We’re trying to shoo the baby out of the kitchen, as well as the dog, when suddenly the Beast comes into the kitchen, starts to say something and hits the floor. It scared the shit out of me…my daughter is saying out loud..*Are you kidding?*. The Princess said something (I can’t remember exactly which but she wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not) and I am ready to have a heart attack but I run up to him and he looks at me and says…….*Cookie! I need a cookie!*

  You can imagine what I was ready to do to him. No one that has had two strokes should pull that kind of a trick on his family. It was an event similar to what he did that was the start of two years of sheer hell. I kid you not he was —-> ][ <---- that close to being kicked to death by my bare feet. I could have cheerfully strangled him because it was a very convincing fall. It was even skillful, worthy of a stuntman. But, when it was finally over, we all did laugh over it.

  The rest of the evening was rather uneventful. I finished bagging up the last of my gifts for our company tomorrow, finished clearing off the floor where my son will be sleeping for the next few days (and vacuumed it), decided to write up the event with the Beast. Some of you that have been with me from the start will appreciate my feelings.

  So now I am heading for the kitchen to help my daughter touch up her gray and then she is going to help me totally cover MINE up…LOL.

  Love you all. Have a Merry and Happy Christmas. Give a toast to your loved ones both there with you, in other parts of the country or missing like our little one WAS. And toast OUR happiness at our Christmas Miracle.

  • 12:29 am
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