Well, the Beast started following orders regarding taking ALL his meds. He even started taking the pain pill once I picked him up some Senecot S to help with the constipation issue when taking pain pills. I really hadn’t considered how antibiotics screw up the digestive system or I would have insisted on his eating more yogurt right from the beginning. Oh well, he’s taking it all PLUS eating the yogurt. Only time will tell.

He finally got tired of the regular bag used for anyone who is catheterized and wanted to try the smaller, lighter leg bag. He was very, very tired of walking around like he was a rapper or rock star (holding his crotch….LOL). So, change it we did and he felt liberated. I thought I would be too since he should have been able to empty it himself. I hadn’t counted on the fact that the pain pills affected his equilibrium and he couldn’t bend over far enough without falling forward to do that. Oh well.

He has been in less pain but is still making funny noises of pain when awake. I have noticed that he seems to relieve himself while sleeping without the moaning and groaning but he has no clue why that could be. I think he anticipates pain and causes it for himself but what do I know? I am woman and (in his mind) clueless as to the problems HE is having.

His appetite has gotten better. He asked for and got some calves liver fried up with onions and bacon. I also made him some mashed potatoes and he got the leftover green beans from the other night. He doesn’t really *do* leftovers but what he doesn’t know helps get rid of them.

I am making baby back ribs tonight for Buttmunch and I to enjoy. Due to the lack of teeth to chew with, the Beast is going to take a pass on those. So he is getting the last pieces of liver, some more mashed potatoes with gravy and I am going to be a really nice person and take the corn OFF the cob for him to enjoy. Buttmunch and I get to enjoy ours ON the cob. It’s locally grown corn and it’s wonderful.

My daughter has been wonderful about playing with and walking Baron. He has attached himself to her when she is up and about and has taken to sleeping with her at night. She encouraged that so he wouldn’t disturb our sleep (what we get of it with me worrying about the Beast and HIM wanting to do everything for himself). We didn’t NEED to add Baron’s whining to our list, too. However, today she was complaining about all the hairs from his coat sticking up in her sheets and pricking her skin. Ever heard of the story of the Princess and the Pea? I swear, she qualifies as a Princess.

When she wants to take a peaceful nap, she closes the door on the guest room and then Baron plops himself at the foot of the recliner the Beast has been using most during the past couple of days. He has only tried twice to climb into the Beast’s lap and both Buttmunch and I jumped up and I think scared the hell out of him. He hasn’t even tried it since them.

Buttmunch has become fascinated with our hummingbirds. We have several new ones showing up now and, dammit, I want a book that will help me identify some of them. Trouble is, there are no big bookstores around here. That requires a trip to Huntsville, Birmingham or Anniston. I just don’t get out enough…..LOL Some of this years crop of babies are now flying and visiting the feeder. They are so cute and tiny and mom is never far away. That will end soon, I’m sure.

I am counting the days until the *other shoe drops* and we get the results of the biopsy. I am hoping, of course, that the Beast’s luck holds and he falls into the small percentage of bladder tumors that are NOT cancer. Pray with me.

I will let you all enjoy your holiday weekend or what’s left of it. Have fun, relax, enjoy, barbeque if you got it or it’s not too hot outside. We decided against it because of the heat and the time it would take to do the ribs. So I am making them in the oven and we just turned down the temp on the A/C so we can eat comfortably. I need to go start the Beast’s liver (yes, he wants it again. He thinks he needs it because of all the blood he lost.) I’d rather he ate it than have to give it to the dog.

Love you all. Tell everyone you love that you do. End your telephone calls with a simple *love you* or *love ya* and watch it spread.

It wasn’t bad enough that the Beast came home with a catheter that has to be kept in until next week Thursday. No…it has to have a thick tube instead of the usual slender, very flexible tubing you see most of the time. Well, at least, that’s what *I* have seen. It was later explained to me that the doctor did not want the slender tube in case the Beast passed any of the many kidney stones he has waiting to visit or any blood clots tried to pass. Those would clog the tubing and create other, more serious problems.

My big concern was the blood that was leaking out of his dangle-down. Each time he had to pass urine, he was in tremendous pain and he had to pass urine frequently (albeit, not much at any given time). His position also seemed to make a difference in the pain level. He wasn’t comfortable in ANY position but was the most comfortable when reclining. He really wanted to lay down in bed but was afraid of making any changes in his position because of the rigidness of the tubing. He normally lays on his right side (partly because of the permanent affects of his strokes to the left side of his body) but we couldn’t seem to get him into a good position because of the catheter. He was terrified of moving in his sleep and the catheter pulling on his already tender and painful part. He did, finally, find one that worked with the catheter and his broken left wrist. I put some overstuffed pillows at his back to prevent him from turning easily (I knew it would wake him if the pull on the catheter didn’t do that first…LOL). I gave him his pillow for his wrist and he finally fell asleep.

I went to bed shortly thereafter. He was lightly covered with a sheet but I pulled the comforter up over me and tried to get some sleep. I knew I would be woken, just not how often. :frowning: His semi-screams and moaning were enough to break my heart. He finally HAD to get up around 3:30 am just because he was still searching for a comfortable place to rest. He settled himself into the recliner and I stretched out on the love seat to try to catch a little sleep before the next bout of pain for him. It wasn’t long and then he was trying to sit comfortably at the kitchen table. I made him some hot chocolate which he halfway finished before he wanted to try laying down in bed. This time, however, he was nauseous so I grabbed the bucket in the bathroom and put it next to him once we got him settled again. I was so tired that I must have fallen asleep almost immediately and slept soundly until almost 7:30 am. The Beast knew I had to be tired and let me sleep since Buttmunch was up and about. I heard him almost screaming again and jumped out of bed. I knew I had to call the doctor because I did not feel this was normal and there had to be something that could make him more comfortable.

When I called the doctor’s office, the nurse thought he might be having bladder spasms, which are quite common with a catheter in after surgery. She said that was probably the reason for the blood since a spasm would actually push it down the outside of the catheter. The doctor was with patients but she was going to talk to him between his next one and see what he could prescribe for that to help. She promised to call me back and actually it was only 5 minutes. The doctor was calling in a prescription and also wanted me to chew out the Beast for NOT taking his pain pills. He needed to bite the bullet and stop fighting the healing process. He prescribed Detrol and said it would help stop the spasms. I waited a half hour and then went to pick up the prescription.

Folks, I have to tell you. The Detrol works. Hallelujah, it works! It not only seems to help with the spasms but it also seems to give him more of the ability to hold in his urine until he felt he WANTED to pee. AND, the pain is less. I am so grateful and relieved for him that I can’t even begin to describe it. My daughter laughed with me later and said we had the most peaceful couple of hours after his taking the Detrol. Even he was glad he had it.

I had to call my sister-in-law last night to let her know we were NOT going to make the wedding and that pains me. I truly wanted to attend but there is no way we can. Since they don’t have to give the final count until this Saturday, I was glad of that much anyway. No sense spending money for people who won’t be there to enjoy the meal. I picked up a card for the kids and we will just send them a check for the money we would have given them in cash if we had attended.

I want to thank everyone who has prayed for the Beast and I ask that you continue for a bit until we find out the results of the biopsy. I have to go pick up Baron from the vet shortly so I have to leave now. I will let you know how and when things improve for the Beast. Dealing with the dog’s energy and the Beast’s condition will be a different story altogether. I’m grateful that my daughter is here to help out on that aspect also. She has been so helpful to me and I am so glad to have her help.

Love you all and have a good weekend. I hope we do, too. Happy Labor Day to all.

WE got up at 5am in order to be at the hospital at 6:15am. They called to let us know that is when we were expected although the surgery wasn’t supposed to be until 7:30am. You bite the bullet and do what you must. The poor Beast had gone to bed around 9 or 9:30 pm. I am not sure exactly what time but he was tired, stressed and wanted it all to be over and done with, come what may.

Everything went smoothly, from check-in to the start of his IV. Once they wheeled him out of the prep room, my daughter and I headed for home to pick up Baron, take him to the vet (after I checked to make sure they could keep him overnight if needed). I still wasn’t sure if the Beast would come home right away if they didn’t have to make as extensive a resection as they thought they might. I was soooooooo glad that I had the foresight because they did NOT have to touch the prostate at all.

If you ever go to the hospital and have to wait in the Surgical Waiting Room for the doctor to come and talk to you after the surgery is over, DO NOT LEAVE TO GO TO THE GIFT SHOP OR THE FOYER TO BUY A PAPER. That is when the doctor is absolutely SURE to come to the waiting room looking for you. It’s what happened to me. My daughter and I left for a total of 10 minutes and, sure enough, the doctor and his nurse came to the waiting room to tell us the results. When I went to the recovery area, the doctor’s nurse said to me, *We went to the waiting room but you weren’t there.* Her tone was so accusatory that I wanted to slap her. The doctor didn’t answer his page and I had no clue as to what happened. BUT………..I thought about the doctor’s office, which was actually INSIDE the hospital and went there to see if he was seeing patients. He was and he took the time to tell me the results.

Part of the reason the Beast had not felt well long before the symptoms that drove him to the doctor was because the tumor covered the urethra tube from the right kidney and the old urine, fermenting I think, was poisoning his system. That was when I learned that the prostate hadn’t been touched so there wasn’t the need to keep him for a day or two. However, there was some bad news. Both kidneys are full of stones and they both have cysts. The doctor said that the cysts are nothing to worry about, minor stuff and they may come and go. BUT….he wouldn’t discuss the stones because the more important thing…..AT THE MOMENT….is the biopsy results. So we are in limbo for a week.

The tumor was the size of a quarter. The doctor took his biopsy (he hadn’t during the original cystoscopy due to the fact that he didn’t want to create a problem that was very possible if it was, indeed, cancer). He then lasered the rest of the tumor and discovered it had NOT penetrated the prostate. He said that when the Beast recovered from the spinal anesthetic, he could go home. We didn’t know that he would have to urinate before he could be released.

Well, he tried. Several times. There was blood but no urine and he had the feeling of NEEDING to go. They finally had to put in a catheter and he really DID have to go. The nurse showed me how to empty the bag, gave us a leg bag for when the Beast is more able to get up and go somewhere and we finally got to go home.

Now, any woman that has had a child knows what a bruised sphincter muscle feels like. The first time you go to the bathroom especially is painful. Not GOING, but just the STARTING. Multiply that by 100 and that is what the Beast feels each and every time he has had to pass urine today. Plus all the urine has been very bloody until about 6 or 7 pm. He went from almost screaming level to now it is very loud moaning and groaning and a few very distinct and succinct *OH! OH! OHHHHH!*’s. Think of some of the worst menstrual cycle cramps. That is about the way the Beast is feeling right now only it’s not abdominal. It’s specific to the sphincter muscle. It’s all I can do to hold his hand and not cry for him. He’s in terrific pain but I DO know it will pass. I hope he feels better tomorrow.

I just got him kind of settled into bed and am heading that way myself. I am exhausted and need some rest. Love you all and will tell you more tomorrow.

The Beast has always had a habit of making jokes about *uncomfortable* or *embarrassing* situations in order to put them into a more relaxed perspective. It’s no different with this. The more jokes he makes, the more I know he is very nervous about it all. Especially because it involves such a *personal* area of the male body. He keeps saying that he will finally get his *big dick* but it’s going to be black and blue and useless. Why is it that men set such store on whatever THEIR idea of a big dick is? Do they want to whip it out and have some woman faint at the sight of it? I just don’t get it. If it satisfies the needs of both during the act of sex, what is the reason for thinking MORE is needed? I guess it’s just a MAN thing.

We picked up Buttmunch at the Greyhound station in Huntsville. The bus was only 10 minutes late but we had arrived right on time so it wasn’t a long wait. Then, suddenly, there she was, hauling her personal pillow, her favorite blankey, a tote bag and her rolling suitcase. My first thought was, *Oh my…she’s gonna be here for a month!* and that brought a smile to my face because I really enjoy having her around. She also had food with her. The bus had made a short stop for food and it was cheap so she saved her greens and half of the *something* (I have no clue what it is and forgot to ask her when I saw it in the fridge). It looks like a half of a potato pancake or something but has this dipping sauce that’s honey mustard so it’s probably something involving chicken. She also brought a present for Baron. It’s three HUGE bones from a pork butt and it looks like it’s the hip bones of one BIG pig! I gave him one last night and he decimated it in just about 5 minutes.

The weather had cleared long enough that we stopped at the local park to let Baron run for a while. The Park Ranger, who luckily owns a Doberman female, laughed when he saw Baron running happily through the woods and said, *Looks like he needs a good run*. Since he wasn’t on a leash (we were the only ones around), we were glad he could tell. What shocked me was Baron actually started splashing in some of the larger pools of water that had accumulated from the rain. He normally would have avoided it like the plague. Guess he’s getting a bit more mature despite some of his other antics. It gives me hope that his baths may be a bit calmer in the future. Lord knows I would like him to stay still a bit longer without our having to force him to wait for the rinse.

Once Buttmunch got here, she headed right for the guest room to unpack her stuff and throw her personal pillow on the bed. Of course, we were talking all the while about her trip down (which she said was actually very nice and almost a straight run). There was a two hour layover in Nashville so she was directed to a local bar and had two drinks while waiting because the waiting area at Greyhound was cold and uncomfortable. Then it was a straight shot from Nashville to Huntsville with no stops so she put up the armrest and actually got a short nap in comfort because she had her pillow and blanket. There were only about 10 people on the bus and she said everyone took advantage of the room to stretch out and relax.

We caught her up on some of the stuff that had been happening with Tara whom she probably won’t get to see until Thursday. We will probably see her on Thursday at the hospital since she wants to see her uncle, the Beast, after his surgery. Then, we will make the trip to Tara’s house so Buttmunch can see the new house that Tara is buying from us. I forgot that I hadn’t told that to her before this so it was a surprise to her but she was very happy that Tara was going to have her own place without her ex-husband being involved. Better to own than to rent, of course.

Buttmunch loves to read so she had to explore my books and found one book from the Dragonriders of Pern series that she hadn’t read….The Dolphins of Pern. She has been reading that since just before dinner yesterday. She told us she had been up since 5 am but hadn’t gotten to bed until almost midnight so she was tired. She finally went to bed around 9 pm but I saw the light on until about 9:30. Once it was out, I knew she had given up trying to read and gone to sleep. The Beast retired shortly after that and I stayed up to play bingo with Bratfink on Pogo until after 11.

And that was our day. The only thing I omitted was the fruitless ride to the dentist’s office (yes, he had his tooth fall out that morning and it took his bridge with it) but the office was closed. He really didn’t need to SEE the dentist but wanted to find out if he needed to continue the antibiotics. This morning he was still having pain in the area so he decided he did, indeed, need to continue them since the dentist was obviously on the mark about the infection in the gums.

Well, time to get some things done around here. It’s going to be a strange day since the Beast is nervous, I am nervous and Buttmunch is also a bit on the tense side but trying to entertain her dad. We’ve already decided on dindin (meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, more biscuits and some green beans). All easily *gummed* by the Beast, yet filling. He can’t have any food, water, gum, hard candy…nothing….after midnight. He also has to bathe before going into the hospital so we will all be up around 6 am or earlier taking our showers and making the trip to the hospital. Of course, I have to make sure he’s not wearing any makeup, nail polish or perfume before we leave. He also cannot SMOKE so Ann and I will have to hit the deck or the garage so we don’t tempt him.

Keep those prayers coming. We are down to the wire now. Love you all and will keep you informed.

A lot of little things happened today. We got some much needed rain. It was a steady rain with just a few interruptions that allowed the dog just enough time (remember he is a woose about rain) to run outside and do his duty then run back into the house. He was antsy just a bit ago but had refused to go outside while it was drizzling. Then, he heard the rain stop and came into my computer room so I would let him outside (which I did since I knew the rain had stopped). He wasn’t out there more than three minutes and wanted back in where he headed right into his kennel to settle down for the night.

The Beast was at the dentist’s office by a little after 8 am. Because he was in pain, they didn’t make him wait long. He got into the office and got to see some of the new technology dentist’s use for x-raying teeth. Nothing in your mouth and the scanner moves around your head. He was amazed. The results, though, were confounding. The dentist examined all the teeth and told him that it wasn’t a bad tooth but a gum infection. He came home with two prescriptions. One is for Keflex, the other is a pain pill. I took them up to Walmart to get them filled and came home to find him waiting impatiently so he could take them both and go lay down until the pain pill worked.

Well, the Beast isn’t used to pain pills, as I’ve said in earlier blogs. They kick his ass. Although these were a lower dosage than the ones prescribed for his wrist, these were no exception. Perhaps because they were a different type, they may actually have been stronger. They have been leaving him nauseous and completely listless and tired. He doesn’t look good either leaving him very pale.

The Beast will be the Beast, however, and still had to accomplish at least ONE chore. So, he changed oil in our car. That took him almost two hours because the effort alone required him to take a nap in-between. But he got it done and was satisfied.

After the dentist’s office, taking his pills and a short nap, he said he felt good enough to drive to the hospital for his pre-operative tests. So off he went and was home within an hour and a half. I made him some lunch (chicken boiled in some broth, leftover mashed potatoes and some green beans) which he ate and hit the bed again. It was an up-and-down nap day).

I hate rainy, overcast days. I can pretty much endure any kind of weather as long as lots of sun is part of it. Today I had to push myself a bit and try to ignore the gloom. I had all the lights on in all the rooms to dispel the atmosphere of gloominess. I busied myself with making another weeks worth of my supplemental dog food. I simmered the chicken gizzards, cooked the chicken livers, the rice and barley, got out the veggies and slowly put the ingredients together. It helped to pass the time. I also did my normal housewifey things like making the bed, getting the dishes into the dishwasher, cleaning up the counter tops, refilling sugar and creamer containers, setting up coffee (you get the idea, I’m sure). I also had to get the guest room ready for Buttmunch who is coming in for a few days tomorrow. She forgot to get the address of the station in Huntsville so I ended up looking it up on Greyhounds website. It was easy because they only have one location, thank goodness.

She was concerned because she thought she would have to wait for 3 hours for my niece, Tara, to pick her up but I told her that we were going to do it. I know my daughter and, if the station was in a decent area, she would have passed the time in a bar waiting to be picked up. She has fun in any bar she goes to with her sense of humor and people like her. They also love her laugh and end up buying her drinks. She is too polite to refuse any so we might have had to pour her into bed upon her arrival. :laughter: I prefer that she starts out sober here. I’ll buy her some beer so she can relax after she gets here. Those bus trips are NO FUN and she will be needing to unwind, I’m sure.

The Beast also talked to the anesthesiologist while he was having his pre-op tests. He described how they would administer an IV drip with something to *relax* him. The Beast immediately perked up and said, *Demerol?* The guy laughed and said, *Oh we have better stuff than THAT!* So, that perked up the Beast a bit over what he will be undergoing.

His brother called him because, for some reason, he was thinking the operation was tomorrow morning instead of Thursday, but talking to him made the Beast feel a bit better. It’s nice to know at least ONE member of his family cares what happens.

So now we are just in a waiting game until he has to have his new x-rays on his wrist and see the orthopedic doctor. That’s Wednesday. No rest for the wicked, I guess. I have a feeling he will end up with a cast on his wrist then for the next four weeks. Most of the swelling is gone now and the road rash has healed. He’s been really good about keeping the brace on except when he bathes and soaks it. I have to give him credit for that. Of course, I keep reminding him that he does NOT want to have to have surgery on the wrist, too. If those bones slip out of place, he would probably have to have pins inserted and that is no fun. I know. I went through that last year.

So, he’s fast asleep for the night now and so is the dog. I am up because I am also relatively pain-free and am trying to get a lot of little things done (other than this blog and the few games I got to play on Pogo tonight). My day was pretty much spent worrying about the Beast and his reaction to the pain pills. I have to wake up the Beast soon to take his antibiotic pill since the dentist was adamant about his taking one every six hours. The infection in his gums must be serious. I’m thinking maybe gingivitis? I should probably look up the symptoms but just don’t have the energy to spare in my mind. I’ve always been upset with him not brushing his teeth regularly so it wouldn’t surprise me. I have a feeling a lot of things may change after we get through all this stuff.

Well, I want to finish up dusting the guest room before I head for bed so I will bring this to a close. Love you all and wish you only the best of everything. Love deeply, laugh often and dance like no one is watching. Life is too short not to live every moment to the fullest. Tell those you love that you love them every time you see or talk to them. Close your conversations with a simple *love you* on the phone. Things like that spread like you wouldn’t believe. Try it. You’ll like it and it leaves you with a smile on your face when you hang up the phone.

Pray for the Beast. They are appreciated.

The hospital called to remind us about the Beast’s preoperative tests on Monday and said to be sure to bring all his medications in with us. He’s going to spend more time at that hospital next week than he is wants. He has the tests on Monday, then has to go back on Wednesday for x-rays on his wrist before he goes to see the orthopedic doctor (it says specifically 45 minutes prior to his office visit). Back on Thursday for the surgery on Thursday morning at 7:30am, and I am sure we will be told to be there a half hour before that when we go in for pre-surgical tests. He will spend Thursday night there and more than likely Friday. Depending on how he does, he may be there on Saturday also. We just have to wait and see.

Today the Beast informed me that he needs to see a dentist. He has apparently been nursing a tooth that is sensitive to both hot and cold and today he couldn’t stop the pain from it. Unfortunately, it’s a key tooth that is holding a bridge and he really doesn’t want to have to pay another fortune for a crown or something so he started talking about getting a denture. I have had dentures since I was 30 years old and I told him he should avoid it if he can. Of course, he has the option of some of the new technology that actually could hold a lower plate firmly in place. I’m just not sure how pricey it might be. Knowing him, he will decide to go to SC for that since they are so cheap. That’s for regular dentures, not the ones with the implants that hold the denture in place. However, all this is moot until we find out for sure what the prognosis is on him.

I have to find him a dentist on Monday morning and try to get him in the same day or on Tuesday, which if fortunately a free day for us. He hasn’t seen this many doctors since he had his strokes. At least, not in the same week.

The poor baby really tried to tough it out like men do especially since he was told NO ASPIRIN for two weeks prior to the surgery and he stopped his low dose aspirin the day the urologist told him that. So, he was really screwed, he thought. He did, finally, remember his pain pills he has for his wrist. He finally broke down and took one, even though it makes him dizzy as hell and slightly nauseous. He was THAT desperate. I got worried because he couldn’t really eat anything without causing him pain. I gave him some slightly warm chicken soup, which he almost finished. Made him some peanut butter toast and also some yogurt. After he took the pain pill, I finally enticed him with a grilled cheese sandwich. He even managed a couple cut strawberries that I had let warm to room temperature and the same with the strawberry cream cheese fruit dip. He wouldn’t hardly drink anything but had his morning cup of coffee and then one later in the afternoon. He finally managed to have some hot chocolate just before bedtime without starting new pain buddies jumping around in his jaw.

I feel bad for Baron because his lack of exercise is really starting to tell on him. He’s gotten a little crazy and I had to put him out in the yard for a couple hours once it stopped drizzling. He has a dog house that is under the deck so I wasn’t worried about him being able to find shelter from the wind or the rain if it started up again. But, what he really needs is to run around and let out some of that pent-up energy. The Beast went to walk him but he got so excited about the neighbors son driving his ATV around their lot that he ran off to chase it and be chased. We sat on the front steps and watched him for a bit and then had to call him in when the kids had enough and was putting it away. Poor Baron was so disappointed and he plopped his butt down at the neighbors house. The Beast had to take the car over there (because Baron will not resist a ride) and go get him.

Then the dog went a little nuts running through the house and jumping on all the furniture. It meant back out in the yard for about an hour and he found a small branch he was using to drag around with him as he ran back and forth in the yard. I am going to be almost as grateful as Baron when my daughter, Buttmunch, comes to visit. She can drive the wounded but usable scooter here to run Baron around our circle a couple times. We gave her MY scooter to use in Louisville and she loves it.

There is so much hanging in the air right now. The Beast wants me to plan on going to the weddings but I can’t really do that with any enthusiasm. We need to know ASAP whether that will be feasible so we can send a card with the money we will give the kids otherwise. It will also mean that we could drop off our daughter in Louisville instead of her having to take the bus back. It would be much more comfortable for her even with Baron sharing the back. At least you don’t have to endure the awful smells of so many bodies on a bus without good air conditioning.

My niece, Tara, dropped by to pick up the chicken soup I had saved for her family when I made it on Thursday night. She was glad she wouldn’t have to cook anything other than some corn muffins. If the Beast hadn’t been in pain today, I would even have had some for her to take to work with her but he couldn’t manage too many foods and that idea hit the spot with him. Sorry Tara.

My son found out that our youngest daughter (aka our granddaughter we adopted) was truly afraid to talk with us…and I mean ALL of us in the immediate family. She felt we didn’t love her because of the problems we had with her two years ago when she rebelled and just about ruined her life. She is the mother of our great-granddaughter, Juliana Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards) who is the most adorable little girl. We couldn’t figure out how she would become so fearful but he discovered it by accident. It’s going to be a shock to my youngest son to find out that it was HIS wife who filled her mind with that idea. My son was ready to kill when he discovered that and called me. I tried to calm him down and tell him that it wasn’t like it was something that couldn’t be remedied. We all just have to consider how she was raised. She doesn’t know the same kind of love that we do in our family. And that includes the aunts and uncles, too.

We may fight with each other, even not like some things about each other but love? It’s ALWAYS there. Even the Beast wishes his family had that same love he’s seen us exhibit time-and-time again. I told him not to push too hard with his brother because it IS his wife and he loves her. I’m sure she has some rationalization she will be able to provide her husband and it will make sense to him. I don’t want a true breach in our family over something that is both untrue and repairable. SHE will have to live with any lies and innuendos she may have made for whatever reason.

Anyway, it’s really been boring overall and I hate to bore you, too. But that’s what it’s been like here at the Brat Farm.
Next week should be really nerve-wracking for us all. Keep praying for us, we really need it. Meantime, love you all. Love deeply, laugh often (laughter heals) and dance like no one is watching.

This morning, when the Beast and I were having our morning coffee on our deck, a piece of information came out that surprised me. I had been reading up about bladder tumors and found out that most of them ARE cancerous. MOST, not all, but our luck sure isn’t all that good. One thing I read about I mentioned to the Beast and it was that doctors usually take a biopsy sample when they perform the cystoscopy. His reaction was, *Oh…didn’t I mention that?* I could have strangled him then and there. So that means the doctor should know if it is or isn’t when the Beast goes in for his surgery on the 28th. It also means that we should get the information on where we go from there and what the prognosis is for him.

It makes me glad that I decided to send my daughter, Buttmunch, some money towards her coming down to stay with us for a bit. I may need her support and so may her dad. We shall see.

My son found her a day’s work outside helping an old woman they both know (and have helped out before) so she can make some money for her expenses (and pay for some of her bus fare down here). The woman isn’t able to pull weeds, trim bushes or trim branches on some of her trees. My daughter will love it because she gets to work on her tan AND be outdoors too. The woman also will feed and water her while she’s there

The Beast ordered some Italian beef from Portillo’s in Chicago. He had such a taste for it (and I guess he is figuring that he may not have a lot of time to enjoy some of these things because it wasn’t cheap). It came packed in a box, inside a styrofoam container with dry ice and everything was frozen still). I had to bake the rolls, simmer the gravy and the peppers separately and slowly add the beef. The instructions were precise and specific but I didn’t bother to test the gravy to make sure it was ONLY 180 degrees. I just made sure it wasn’t boiling. It was broken up into two *packages* so I could throw one set into the freezer right away for a future date. But I have to tell you this……IT WAS A SLICE OF HEAVEN!

They have a lot of other stuff you can order but the Italian beef was something we really, really missed and I was not disappointed. They even sent a small jar of gardinera so you could add more spice to the taste. *I* love it but the Beast can do without it because the sweet peppers had enough *snap* for him. I cannot recommend it any more than this…..EXCELLENT!!! Worth the money!!!!

Portillo’s has their own website (Portillos.com) and it is also listed under *tastesofChicago.com*. Pizza is also included and I can’t remember what else but I can recommend the Italian beef as a 5 star feature. Now what I need to find is a site that I can buy the REAL tamales like my Mexican friends families made. My mouth waters just thinking about them. Jewel made some that I bought one year to bring home on the plane with me but they just were NOT as good as the real ones. They were OK but not something I would buy again.

The Beast seems determined to make it to Chicago for the wedding and then for his brother’s oldest son’s wedding in Wisconsin. Only time will tell. So much depends on what the doctor tells us next week (yes, it IS that close). But, if the prognosis is *iffy*, I suppose we will do it. If it’s what he wants to do, god knows we will do it one way or another. I did say, since the brother’s son’s wedding is two weeks after my niece’s, that if he wasn’t up to it, we could always come home. He agreed.

If we do end up staying there for that long, it will give me lots of time to visit with other relatives and friends I don’t often get to see for long. My best friend, Marilyn, would be a treat to spend some time with relaxing and, perhaps, visiting other friends from high school that I haven’t seen in years.

Well, it’s late once again and I am tired. I need my beauty sleep (oh boy, do I EVER!) and I am relatively pain-free right now. I find that helps a lot and I sleep MUCH better. I also wake up feeling much better.

Love you all. Love deeply, laugh often and dance like no one is watching. Life is shorter than you may think. Tell those you love that you do every time you see them or talk to them. You just never know what is in store. Have a great weekend.

Have I ever told you anything the sad state of affairs of Animal Control in Alabama? Well, maybe not in ALL of Alabama, but at least in our section of the state. We kind of found that out last year when we found Patches…or Patches found us. He was the Australian Cattle Dog that someone from Virginia (according to the rabies tag) dropped off somewhere around us. To make a long story short, we found out that in most cities except for Huntsville, Animal Control is usually one person, poorly paid who works part-time. Their sole duty seems to be to hold a healthy looking animal for three days and then euthanize it. Nothing fancy. Nothing special. No frills. No company. Just pick ‘em up and kill ‘em off. It’s all about the money made available in the town budget.

Now I can understand it in many ways. Property taxes are low primarily because the average wage in the area is also low. Home prices are relatively cheap depending on what state you are used to living in. Compared to Florida, hell, this is almost a joke. But we are retired and this is not our first home but is probably the last home we may live in. We are both now collecting social security and trying to live within that budget. We DO understand that you just can’t get blood from a turnip in this area. There is NOT a lot of excess money available for non-humanitarian causes. But…the incident I am going to tell you about really *takes the cake*, so-to-speak.

One of my neighbors noticed a strange dog starting to show up in our area. He knows all the animals that belong here so he kept trying to see if it was another *drop off* (we get a lot of those out here) or something more sinister. We do have some packs of feral dogs that we’ve been hearing about so he felt he needed to know which it was and warn us if necessary. He finally got a good look at the dog and realized that the dog was suffering from a terrible case of mange. From the looks of it, he was afraid he might also have parvo and both things could easily be spread to the other dogs in the area. He got worried about Baron because Baron is always friendly and easily accepts strange dogs. He could imagine him trotting eagerly over to the mangy critter and ending up with mange himself because of it. Our neighbor, Stretch, loves Baron and his grandkids can’t wait to come over to play with Baron when they come to visit him and his wife.

So, Stretch calls Animal Control. And calls. And calls. Each time he leaves a message with his phone number. No return call. He calls again and finally gets the guy. He explains the problem and tells the guy that the dog is around RIGHT NOW. So Animal Control shows up with their stick and noose thingy to try to catch the dog. It was about as successful as you might think in 90+ degree heat, and with an animal who just *knows* he wants no part of that thing the man is poking at him. In truth, the guy couldn’t get within 20 feet of the animal.

So, this brilliant public servant says to Stretch, *You got a gun?* Stretch says, *Yes. I hunt.* The PS then says, *Well, the only way you are going to be able to get rid of that critter is to shoot it. So, go ahead and shoot it if you can and then give us a call and we’ll come haul away the carcass.* Period. End of discussion. That’s all folks!

So, Stretch figures if that’s what has to be, he’ll do it. It’s obvious this guy isn’t going to make any grand effort or try to trap it. The guy actually seemed freaked out by how bad the mange was on the dog. So, he loads up his gun, sits outside in a comfy chair and waits.

Now, mind you, I knew nothing about this at the time. I’m sitting at my computer, playing a game on Pogo, not a care in the world when I hear Stretch’s gun going off. My thought (at the time) was that Stretch had a craving for squirrel again. But he usually accomplishes that with one or two shots and it’s over. This time is was like six or seven. All I could think was….*What in the hell is that man shooting at????* As suddenly as it started, it was over. So, I relaxed and didn’t think about it any more. I just kind of thought about kidding Stretch when I saw him next about how bad a shot he had become. Little did I know.

About an hour after the shooting ended, Stretch called me on the phone to let me know that he hadn’t lost his *eye* or gone nuts and he told me what had transpired during the previous week. He said he really hated to have to do that to any dog and the only reason it took so many shots was *the damned dog kept zigging and zagging so I guess he’d been shot at before.* Once he DID get a body shot, he said he only needed the one and he was grateful. He said he sure didn’t want the dog to suffer any more than it obviously had. But he also told me that the mange was actually much worse up close than he thought from seeing it at a distance. He also told me that this was the only dog that he got to see up close but it looked like it WAS running with a pack. It freaked out the Animal Control guy to see other dogs at a distance watching intently to see what was going on. Stretch wanted us to know about that so WE could keep an eye out for them, too, but he said they all hightailed it out of the area when he let off the first shot. With any luck, he won’t have to make any more decisions like the one he made for the dead dog.

I’m grateful to Stretch and also feel badly for him. I could tell by his voice that he really hated what he felt he had to do to protect our dogs around here. Heck, he doesn’t even own one. He has a cat. And it’s an indoor cat at that. It rules the roost in there, too, let me tell you.

I won’t pontificate on how I feel about the quality of Animal Control here. I had heard a little bit about it before our experience with Patches but this was almost beyond belief. Perhaps I will another time but I have other things that are on my mind.

The Beast comes from a truly dysfunctional family. His father was a bully to his family and yet, to his friends and acquaintances, he was generous to a fault. In truth, he always felt inferior to most people so he NEEDED to be overly-generous to others. He actually encouraged his kids NOT to care about each other by the way he treated them. He was a real querrilla in family warfare, let me tell you. It’s only in recent years that my husband and the brother just under him have become friends. That brother is 7 years younger. He also has another brother that is 17 years younger and his sister (the baby) is 18 years younger. I actually babysat for the two youngest ones when the Beast and I were dating. In fact, we were dating when my (then future) mother-in-law was pregnant with those two.

I will go into more detail another time about this state of affairs we are just going to dip into at another time but, suffice it to say, his sister has his mother living with her. His dad died 6 years ago and his mother is not QUITE ready to go into a nursing home full time but will be soon unless she dies in her sleep. She’s 84, incontinent, diabetic, has heart problems and is suffering from a mild form of dementia. His sister pretty much leaves the mother to fend for herself all day (and sometimes into the night) because she and her hubby both work and they have a LIFE, ya know! They also have a monstrous 5600 sq. ft. five bedroom house in a pricey suburb and they have NO KIDS. They also do NOT entertain. But, the house impresses their friends and acquaintances and the mother’s Social Security helps out with the finances. Need I say more?

The sister used to come down to Florida several times a year to visit friends and some of her hubby’s family. They were within less than 30 miles from our home but never came to visit, never called and we usually only found out they had been in Florida by accident. She has never called us but her hubby did when the Father was finally dying. We wouldn’t even have known he was sick except for the brother we ARE friends with and they would have called us but they were taking care of the mother (at that time) and also spending a great deal of their time off work with the father at the hospital. Even when the Mother has had a health crisis where they thought she might be dying, it was the Sister’s hubby that called us, not her.

Well, she finally actually sent the Beast an email today. The gist of it was this: Remember me? I am your sister who is taking care of your biological mother (birth mother). I know you are an asshole but your mother seems to love and care about you for some reason. Could you at least call her once in a while. My phone number is the same but in case you don’t have it, it’s XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Now, let me tell you this. The Beast HAS called his mother several times but the last few times, she didn’t seem to know who he was. Her whole conversation was, *They don’t feed me here. I’m okay but they leave me alone all the time. Who is this again? Oh. Sure I remember. Okay. I’ll tell Cruella you called. Bye.*

I’m sure in her dementia, she often remembers she has another son. She sure loved to come and visit with us twice a year when she came with the son we ARE close to and his wife would visit us and stay with us also. Those were good times. But, if any of you has a friend, family member or other loved one with dementia, you know how painful it can be (and how futile on a long-distance call) to make any type of connection. When we go up to the Chicago area to visit, the Beast and his brother always go over to see the Mother and take her out to eat (she just loves that!).

My reaction was one of anger but I couldn’t really vent like I wanted to vent. It IS his family and not mine. But I just loved his reply to his sister. It was short and sweet. He didn’t try to justify anything and he didn’t accept any guilt. He just wrote this….*Isn’t it comforting to know that Dad is still with us?*

I don’t think she will *get* it. What do you think? My sister, Bratfink, who knows the whole family and the circumstances, laughed because when we were discussing it online, that was her reaction. It was a real ^5 moment.

Regardless, I do still mean what I say when I tell you to be sure to tell those you love that you do love them every chance you get. Even in her dementia, I believe the Mother thinks of her son just because it’s something we have done for many years now. Even *I* told her that and she still will talk with other people and tell them how wonderful she thought I was because of the way I treated her when she stayed with us. I treated her well because she IS my Beast’s mother and he inherited her sense of humor. I am grateful for that. I am just sorry that she doesn’t remember his calls or his voice but she does remember his face. He will be seeing her soon, I am hoping.

Time to go to bed for me. Love you all. Thank you for letting me vent. I’m sorry this turned out so long. Have a wonderful day, though, and be kind to one another. Don’t assume you know everything that goes on around you. You have to be paying attention like a hawk and most of us are too busy to do that. Hugs for you all and keep up those prayers.

I finally got a chance to call my kids to let them know about their dad’s upcoming surgery. It was an interesting set of reactions. My daughter, Buttmunch, wants to try to come down here from Louisville to help me out for a bit and be company for me. Plus, it would allow her to be right here in the middle of everything and not be waiting for news. She loves Baron and immediately thought about who was giving him his exercise and decided that could be her job and her major contribution while she was here. She roller blades and she has exercised a friend’s dog that way. She thinks she could get Baron into it as a game and let him pull her. I don’t know about that. I think anyone with a leash on him is a candidate for something getting broken. She checked into the cost of taking a greyhound bus into Huntsville and my niece, Tara, could pick her up from there after work and bring her home. Or, since it’s really just a 35 mile drive for me, I could do that if her bus got in early in the day.

I have to go over my finances so I can see if I can contribute to her coming down. She isn’t working currently so it wouldn’t be a hardship that way. She moved in with her boyfriend about a month ago and he is encouraging but, since he is paying all the bills right now (she has no bills, thank goodness and no rent at the moment), I can hardly expect him to pay her way down.

My son, Stephen, was kind of blown away by the news but upbeat about it. He feels that his dad has beaten worse odds. When I was discussing the fact that we had to be supportive with whatever decision his father made, depending on the news, he truly felt (as I do) that his dad would take chemotherapy and fight to the bitter end. IF that is what we have to deal with here.

Knowing his father as only males can, he thinks his dad probably ignored signs that something might be wrong since men are so protective about their male parts. I have to admit that I had noticed he was having a problem at times urinating but wasn’t really sure if it was that he was half-asleep at the time or perhaps his prostate starting to give him a problem. He doesn’t turn the light on at night so he wouldn’t have noticed any blood. If it hadn’t been daytime that Tuesday and a brightly lit bathroom, he might not have noticed it then, either. There has been no pain involved in this so far except after the doctor’s internal investigation. My son has had one when he was in the Navy and ended up in a hospital in Hong Kong. He described to me what the device was like that is used and even I had to cringe thinking about it. What they will use in the surgery will be similar but with different attachments that will unfold after insertion on the end of it. It made me turn green. Plus, because there will be a couple different things done (a tissue sample will need to be taken) plus the laser that will be used to burn away the tumor, it means a couple different insertions. I hope they cover his eyes and don’t tell him how many times this is going to be violating his privates. He will suffer more in his imagination that he might if he isn’t that well informed.

Our youngest son, Mark, was very upbeat also. He feels his dad is so stubborn that everything will be fine regardless. I’m not sure if this is denial on his part or not. It’s hard to tell with him sometimes. Perhaps he needs time to think about it all even though he was *in the know* about the blood in the urine from the first day. He did make one statement at first that tells me he has an inkling about the seriousness of it. His first comment was…*Well, that’s not good.*

I didn’t get in touch with our adopted daughter/granddaughter. I think she had her phone off while she was working or perhaps on vibrate and she only answers if it’s the day care center that has my great-granddaughter, Juliana. I didn’t leave a message and I will try again tomorrow to let her know. Regardless of the rift that was caused between her and her grandfather/father from the stroke and then her rebellion later on, she does love him and still talks to him when she can. He, however, has a way to go to forgive her. I hope he considers that during all this. Juliana is a precious little girl and just adorable. They are FAMILY and FAMILY forgives. We have all made mistakes in our lives and from my last conversation with Krys, she has come a long way and learned how much she threw away. I think she deserves forgiveness. However, I think the Beast is actually waiting for her to say she is sorry. I don’t know for sure. I do know he loved her like she WAS his own and showered her with anything and everything we could. Perhaps that was a mistake but she was also a worker and bought a lot of the expensive clothes she loved. I thought she overdid it but I was always lucky to have clothes for a week. I swear, she could go months without washing a thing with all she had. Well, now she has her own child and I hope she has learned that it’s a lot easier said than done when you don’t have an actual *career*. She is in middle management now but says she hates it for all the paperwork. She makes good money for her age but when we were raising her, we owned our own business and she was an *only child*. We had money to burn, so-to-speak.

We would have mortgaged ourselves to ensure she went to college until her rebellion and I know she regrets it now. It’s just a shame because she was so bright. Now she is having to go to the local junior college and either pay for it herself and whatever grants are available to her. Sometimes life’s lessons are hard ones as a friend recently said to me. Anyway, she will be the last of our *kids* to know what is going on.

It was a quiet Sunday for us and even today, thank goodness. I took Baron for a ride when the Beast decided he wanted a ham and cheese melt from Arby’s with a milk shake and some curly fries. Baron was so excited when he realized he was going for a ride with me. I don’t ordinarily take a ride where I CAN take him with me. It’s either to do shopping or the doctors it seems. This time it was a little thing for me but a big deal for him. He was as good as he is for us when we take a long trip. I put the back window down for him so he can stick his head out the window (why in the world do dogs love that?) and he would occasionally lay his head on my shoulder from the back seat like he was happy to be there with me.

Oh, one other thing….we actually picked a couple apples off our trees today. There were a couple golden delicious that were a nice size and, when we cut up one, they were truly wonderful. The crab apple tree isn’t ready at all yet but there are several red delicious on the tree that will probably not be ready for another month or so. The granny smith’s aren’t ready either (insert sad face here because I can hardly wait to make a pie from those). There will probably only be enough this year for one pie but I can’t wait.

I also found to my shock that one of our cherry trees is loaded with cherries. That was a shock but it’s not that close to the house and is on our unfenced land to the side of the house. Since I don’t mow the lawn, I hadn’t noticed until I was out checking on the apples this afternoon. I have no clue how those will be but I know they are too small right now. I’m going to be watching those with a lot of interest also. I believe it’s the bing cherries but the Beast thinks it’s the sour cherries. If so, more pies in the works there. I really have to find a cherry pitter. (Excuse the spelling…not sure just HOW it’s spelled since spell-checker has rejected all my attempts).

Love you all. It’s wait and see time right now. I have to keep track of the Beast and make sure he keeps that brace on more than he keeps it off. I have to make a trip to Walmart tomorrow to get some more triple antibiotic and gauze pads and probably some rolled cotton since I know from experience that he is going to start needing some at the top section of that brace soon. I also need to pick up more chicken bits and pieces to make my dog food to supplement the kibble we buy from Petsmart. I used up the last of what I had made today and the darn dog had a snit fit because there wasn’t enough of it (in his opinion). He really gets persnickety if he feels he’s been gypped.

Hugs and kisses to you all and thank you for your prayers and wishes. I will keep you informed.

My niece, Tara, was kind enough to bring over Sadi when she found out that Baron had not been getting his regular runs since the Beast broke his wrist. It was quite a reunion for the two of them. They had spent those few days together when we doggy-sat her while Tara was back in Ohio retrieving her stuff now that her divorce was final and everything settled.

They were so excited to see each other that we had to put them into the back yard to play. I had put out a big bowl of water earlier because their play tends to be very vigorous. It was no different yesterday (Saturday). Tara was going to a surprise birthday party near her home and had offered to bring some of her special dishes she makes. She had planned on stopping at Walmart to pick up what she needed on her way home with Sadi. We talked her into just leaving Sadi here so the two dogs could drain off a lot of that pent-up energy. It didn’t take asking her twice and made HER day simpler as it did ours.

Thankfully, the day was nice and temperate. I placed the dish where I could actually fill it without going past the gate at the bottom of the stairs (with the hose, of course). Sadi can still squeeze between the stair risers but she only tried it two or three times. When caught, she immediately followed me down to the gate and went back out into the yard to play with Baron. She wasn’t trying to get away from Baron as much as she was hungry. The Beast put food out for the two of them and they were happy to eat out of the dishes meant for the other. Go figure.

We kept watching the two of them all afternoon. They would be rough and tumble, then lay down in the shade for a while. Then they did a few trots around the yard together or would be at the fence we share with the next door neighbor to *converse* with Bozo in her yard. It was really cute to watch. Then we saw an amazing thing. Baron had been showing a great interest in Sadi’s *female part* off-and-on for several hours. Suddenly he had a hard on like you would NOT believe. I was amazed but then I remembered that I read even humans who have been neutered can and DO get them so why not a dog? He kept trying to mount her but she really had no clue what was going on. I have a suspicion that Sadi may be a breed that comes into first heat early. I actually forgot to mention it to Tara when she picked up Sadi, too.

I had an awful vision of the two dogs actually consummating the act and then having them *stuck together* like happens to dogs. But…if Baron cannot ejaculate semen (no balls on this guy), could they separate without human intervention? How would we transport them to the vets? It was a scary time so we brought the dogs inside and put Sadi into Baron’s kennel. They were both tired. Baron didn’t want to leave her so he finally settled down next to the kennel. A little later he had settled onto our bed with his head towards the kennel but we figured the *interest* had died down and we could relax for a bit on THAT part. I think our vet would have been surprised if we had to call her with the problem I was envisioning.

When they both woke up from their naps, the two of them were still playful but not rambunctious. At times they both laid at the Beast’s feet and just spent the time licking each others faces. Then they would jump up, start running around and doing the dog version of wrestling. Sometimes Sadi was on her back, sometimes it was Baron. It looked so funny because Sadi is about a quarter of the size of Baron and about the same difference in height. But she would be acting like she had him down and was winning a battle. It was hilarious to watch.

It did tell me one thing about Baron, though, that was important. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He would rough house with her but he was never mean. He can also be very gentle at times as if he knows she is still a puppy. It was also a nice distraction for the Beast who has been a bit broody and slightly depressed. I can’t blame him because I am too. I’ve tried hard to keep upbeat for the Beast’s sake but I will feel better after the surgery when we have some results and a prognosis. I hate this being in limbo. It hasn’t been good for my IBS either since I am now in a lot more pain than I have been before we found out he definitely has a tumor.

I have to go make a couple phone calls to let our kids know that the Beast has the tumor and is scheduled for surgery on the 28th. If the prognosis is bad and I haven’t let them know prior to that, they would never forgive me. Just keep praying that the tumor is benign. I know I am sure doing a lot of praying of late.

Love you all. Be sure to give your loved ones a big hug and tell them that you love them often. Life can be short and is often filled with hard lessons. It’s in the hands of God now and sometimes, he says NO. I am hoping he will say YES for us.