May 22, 2007

  • An Apology and an explanation

    One of the few people that read this blog complained to me that I am not updating it often enough and I had to admit, they were right. I thought I would explain.

    The Beast (my hubby) had a couple strokes….one major and one minor one six months afterwards. This happened five years ago (against all the odds that he would survive that long). One of the main reasons, I believe, is because he is extraordinarily stubborn. This actually aided in his recovery but may lead to his either having another stroke or just plain killing himself. Let me explain.

    We women have this *thing* (call it instinct or just our nature because we have ourselves AND our family’s welfare to consider) about taking care of ourselves (as well as those *others* in our charge). We learn to *listen* to our bodies. If we injure ourselves, we do, for the most part, take care of that area. We either take to our beds and let our bodies recover or we go to see the doctor. We try NOT to PUSH our bodies to do more than they can at the time. It helps us recover quicker and, if we listen well enough, we do it early and don’t get quite as sick as our stubborn men.

    Well, the Beast was having a problem with his left leg (it was left side paralysis that he suffered with his strokes). My advice to him was “your body is telling you that you are overdoing things. You need to relax and rest up for a day or two and let it heal.” Did he listen? Of course not.

    He always, and I mean ALWAYS, has to have some sort of project (or two or three) going at the same time. Most of these require a LOT of activity. Like his lawn obsession. We had a lot of big, bare spots in our *yard*. He decided to grow his own grass with the use of grass seed and lots of Miracle Grow soil (It has fertilizer already in it!)

    That required some rototilling of the areas involved, then raking to gather together any rocks and clumps, then seeding and spreading of the dirt over the seeds. Then watering. Now this may not sound like a big deal but if your leg is already giving you problems, the handling of the rototiller is in itself a chore. You have to brace yourself to keep it from tossing you around because the soil here is HARD. It’s so tightly packed and dry that it almost feels like some joker added cement to the mixture. Trying to turn it with a shovel is a joke. When the Beast planted all his trees, just getting the holes big enough was a job that also required watering the ground in between efforts to try to soften it up a little.

    So I am watching him, on his hands and knees, crawling around on the ground and gathering up all these clumps and rocks thinking “this is not going to be pretty.” I was right. Each day the leg was getting worse and worse. He just would NOT listen to me and I finally stopped suggesting anything. He wouldn’t even take a tylenol to help out the leg because he has this *thing* about medication in any shape or form. It’s tough enough to get him to take his high blood pressure medication each day. I just remind him on occasion (if I think he’s not be conscientious) that “if you have another stroke, it’s a nursing home for you. I will NOT go through that again!”

    To cut to the chase, now he’s been disturbing my sleep and his with his moans and groans during the night when he tries to turn over or move. He can hardly move in the morning and it’s gotten so bad that I have to put his shoes and socks on for him. Even getting UNdressed to take a shower he makes the most animal groans that I have ever heard. I am now hobbling around trying to keep him fed and kind of encourage him to rest inbetween his various *absolutely necessary* activities. Some of the things he MUST do daily, he’s actually allowed me to do for him but many of them require HIM because I just don’t do it right. (raised eyebrow here)

    Anyway, with him being in the shape he is at the moment, I haven’t been online much at all except to hurriedly check my email and just see if any of my family is online to chat. After all, even *I* need someone to complain to on occasion . I do, however, have to keep an eye on him because sometimes that leg just gives out and he has to be helped to his feet. I’m worried that he might actually hurt himself one of these times.

    Now add the garden we put in to that equation (which also requires watering since Alabama is in a serious drought situation) and I have my own things to worry about. The tomatoes are doing well, as are the watermelon and cantaloupe plants. I’ve added bush beans, pickling cucumbers, salad cucumbers, radishes, beets and lettuce to the mix. These are still in the infant stage so they require care and watering. I monitor the water needs a couple times a day to make sure I don’t over/underwater. Then I also take care of the inside of the house, clothes washing, drying and hanging up/folding as well as three meals a day. Yes, I do make breakfast….although some days it’s just cereal….because we *old* people need three meals at least.

    I haven’t felt as stressed out as I do at the moment since the first stroke. That stress went on well over a year before I could finally relax. I sure hope it doesn’t last that long this time.

    Then add the fact that I fell out of my shower a couple days ago and re-hurt my back and you can see why I am so distressed over all this. Yes, I didn’t realize how badly my equilibrium was affected by my one plugged up ear (from my allergies clogging up my sinuses during all this dry, spring weather). I made the mistake of closing my eyes to rinse off my hair during my shower and tilted my head back. Imagine my surprise when I found myself falling over. I twisted into a kind of ball to avoid hitting the china top of our bathroom counter and that didn’t help. I do think it’s why I didn’t knock myself out, however so it’s a moot point. Neither one of us is in good shape right now .

    So, if I have been lax about keeping everyone updated, please forgive me. I have to go now. He’s making movements again about heading outside to do *something*. I can tell by the moans.

    Have a great day. Someone should.

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